Invent this!

Flirtatious: Can I interest you in an apple? I just got done washing off all the insecticide. But I left the sticker for you.

Real Mood: Kinda Sad

Prediction: I predict the "fruit sticker" art genre will die out for lack of resource material.

Before I jump off into a fruit sticker whine, let me keep you up to snuff on Bonnie Schneider. She's the new morning Weather Lady on CNN. I've been trying to keep up with her daily fashion parade. I think you can find research that says most people would like to look like, or be with,  their local weather person.

Well, anyway, Bonnie has been all over the map with her style and color choices. This morning's display is by far the most conservative.  You can almost concentrate on the weather.  She has on an all black, very professional looking business suit. Underneath the jacket we find a very bright pink (almost red) starched blouse. I think she can fit in nicely (outfit wise) in an investment house board room.

Except for the COLLAR.  I hope it's not a trend. This collar stands  up about 6 inches off the shoulders. It's wings are flared out like a Harrier's  (the jet).  You know what's coming!  Yeah she looks like she's ready to take off.

Okay, new subject. About 4 years ago I went through a series of gustatory events that changed my perception of fruits and vegetables forever.  Seems about once a week, for several weeks, I would get one of those little stickers in my teeth.

My friend Jeff Stroh, who is regional public relations manager for Safeway, got the brunt of my protest.

"Why do you need them, Jeff?"

"So the clerks can tell what they are Paul."

I followed my first instinct.

"Well let's see, what do we have here? Is it an apple?"

I've since opened my mind and reflected on today's reality.  In my growth years we had two apple choices. There was red to eat. There was green to cook. Today we've got the Fuji, the Braeburn, the Gala, the  Jonathon, the Adinfinappleum.

Actually I'd already given up the protest prior to the Type of Apple Explosion.  I decided instead to turn a sows ear into a silk purse.

I've been collecting fruit stickers and artfully placing them on vitamin vials for the better part of four years. Should you be tempted to question the worth I've placed on my latest creation? Consider:

1. I am estimating there are over 3 thousand stickers on the vial you are looking at. Do you realize how many Kiwis and Carrots I had to endure to work this piece?

2. This creation has been in the works for over two years. Just imagine the "man seconds" that have gone in to it.

3. Let your eyes feast on every color, and shade of color,  known to man's prism.

4. But here is the kicker that thrusts this "objet d'art" into the "gotta have it" category. One of the primary cost factors in any free market system is scarcity.

Well on somebody's air today I hear a preview of Time Magazine's List of Top 20 inventions for the year?  One of those inventions? It's a powerful little stamp machine that just indents the name of the vegan item right into the peel or rind. They are taking the paint right off my easel.

Peggy is back in town to lend little sympathy. She is too quick with a solution.

"Why don't you just start saving the rinds.  Then you could do Rind Art.  You know "Reinertson's Rind Art?"

Why can't I think of things like that.  Let's see, I'm going to need a better framework than vitamin vials. Maybe toilet paper or paper towel centers. That might work. I need to go try one. I'll get back to you on this one. However if you're ready to meet my price on the fruit sticker vial? Just go ahead and interupt.

Maybe we could wrap Bonnie in banana leaves.