Ouch!

I can't keep up with all these new syndromes that keep popping up. I've been asking other people if they feel like I do about RLS.  If you're not in the game yet, that would be Restless Leg Syndrome. I've still not gotten a good answer to my question, "is it like, you know, when your leg goes to sleep, and then it twitches."

Somebody says, "well not exactly."

Anyway I don't know whether I should be treated for RLS or not. You know I mostly get it riding light rail with my legs crossed.

I fortunately ride light rail in off-rush hours. But I still get that tingling.  I've yet to experience the symptom where I want to get up and dance.

Strange how the subject of RLS takes us to light rail. It's strange 'cause I believe it to be the cause of the newest medical phenomenon, BKS.

"BKS?", you say.

"Banging Knees Syndrome," I reply

Ever try to sit four people in these seats they've allegedly designed for four?  Who are these designers, leprecauns, lilliputians, elves, menehunes, the seven dwarfi? 

It reminds me of the time I was on a flight from Cincinatti to Los Angeles with Pete Rose's neice sitting next to me. Well it turns out we've blown a bunch of tires on  takeoff and will be making an emergency landing in LA.  They don't tell us about it until we are over the Grand Canyon. So they're giving the old "put you hands behind your head and then push your head down between your legs" demand.

Well there is this basketball player on board, I'm guessing 6'11" in altitude. He, like many of us, is a little loose from all the free booze they've been anesthetising us with. On hearing the "head between the knees" demand, he looks at the seat in front of him, checks the available leg room and then bursts into laughter.

"Lady,"he says. "Head between my knees? You've got to be kiddin'. I might just as well kiss my ____ goodbye right now."

True Story! No hyperpole! Honest!

The American Academy of Orthepedic Surgeons says knee injuries are the most common physical injuries treated in this country.  And while you hear your friends with knee scars rattle off, "oh yeah, I've been scoped. They had to take out my ACL" (Anterior Cruciate Ligament.) 

But lately I've been hearing more people talking about their torn Meniscus, the cartilage holding the knee together. Listen to the suspected etiology (source) of Meniscus tears:

"MENISCUS TEARS USUALLY OCCUR WHEN TWISTING, CUTTING, PIVOTING, DECELERATING, OR BEING TACKLED. DIRECT CONTACT IS OFTEN INVOLVED."

Now where could all that take place?

Now I know that just about everybody walking into the doctor's office with BKS claims to have gotten it in 'THE BIG GAME."

But, and I'm going to leave it at this. Would you tell your doctor or your friends you got your BKS trying to squeeze into a light rail seat?

Come on you guys.  Even the airlines gave in and gave us a little bit of that leg room back. Come on. Medical history is judging you! 

Pete Rose's neice was 14.  It was her first flight. When the tires blew I told her it was the landing gear. I can't always be right.