DUCK!!!

I know you all think I'm caught up in "Animal Conspiracy Theory." But for what I am about to share with you I have at least 19 witnesses. And they haven't been students of mine long enough to be witnesses of ill repute.  Sorry, but this is going to take some background.

Do you know about Demosthenes? Well Demosthenes is this Greek guy who many have crowned the FATHER of Oratory. I won't weigh you down with details. I'll just say that Demosthenes is noted for (may be urban 'ATHENS' myth) the following activities to strenthen his voice:

1. Putting pebbles in his mouth while practicing speeches to exaggerate his articulation.

2. Running along the beach while delivering his speech to get control of his respiration.

3. Delivering his prose to the "breaking" surf on the Aegean Sea to improve his projection.

He did some other things, but for MY purposes that's ALL you need to know.

So in my Announcing class every semester I make an effort to exalt Demosthenes. I believe that whatever you do in life, you need to bow to, and to some degree, emulate a Master.

You might surmise it's not in this state sponsored institution's budget to take 22 students and wing them to Athens and Sparta for the week?  So I compromise.

We settle for Cherry Creek. (Cherry Creek is three lanes of thoroughfare north of campus.)

As is the tradition we amble about a quarter of a mile along the creek. Whilst pursuing our quest we speak to each other with pencils positioned between our uppers and lowers. ( A dentist pal of mine suggests I not encourage the use of pebbles in the mouth while speaking. An attorney friend of mine offers similar advice.)

We also (allowing for health and/or willingness) walk, jog or run along opposite banks of Cherry Creek. As we ambulate, we all recite the "I am the very model of a modern major general" chorus from the Pirates of Penzance. We, like Demosthenes, are building up our breath control.

And then we arrive at a very noisy waterfall. There we line up on opposite banks and attempt to project our voices to our partners on the other bank.

Even under normal circumstances it's a challenge. We are often visited by men and women of little or no means who tend to reside along the banks. They tend to join in.

We often get scolded by cyclists and joggers as we retard their paces.  But today "takes the cake."

Because of all the snow stacked up along the banks? Those on the south side need to stand back an additional six feet. It's true we are making every effort to make ourselves heard.  Yet, in many cases we are merely lip reading.

Enter that mallard duck up there,  and about 15 of his friends.  They sit, as they always do, right below us. And each time even the meekest of our number sets out to recite? These ducks (I'll give you of list of witnesses if need be) turn, form a sort of choral half circle, and start quacking right back at the chanter.

Okay, the other side of the bank and a new human reciter? The duck chorus just re-arranges it's arc and quacks at the orator du jour on the north side.

When we get quiet? The ducks get quiet! These little winged creatures are MOCKING US. They might as well be mocking DEMOSTHENES. Oratorical HERESY!.

Some of us are amused? Some of us are imagining Duck Under Glass.

So now I'm not sayin' they are,  and I'm not saying they aren't....ALIENS! I'm just askin'.  I mean if an alien can transform itself into a rabbit? Mighten it also be able to camouflage itself beneath a host of feathers?

Like I said, I'm just askin'.

I'm pretty sure that mallard is the ring leader.  I always see him around.  I think next semester we make fun of HIM.  I know! We'll call him Demosthenes. That'll frost him.