Isolationariatism

I sometimes feel as if I'm in an episode of "Men in Trees," or "Northern Exposure." I'm sort of stuck here for the winter unless I know somebody with a float plane. I know Jack Wilhite who has a Chinese Mig 17? But I'm pretty sure it doesn't have any pontoons. And the emergency manual is written in Cantonese.

Remember that Northern Exposure episode where everyone is going stir crazy until just before the spring ice cracks? Everybody wants to hit everybody else. Well here is a little winter object lesson.

I'm on this major secondary thoroughfare in the middle lane. It's snowing, the traffic is heavy and patience in general is non-existent. Well we are all about to either cross over an interstate, and or merge on to that interstate. Still with me?

Well some person (MORON) in an Audi decides at the last minute he needs to get on this interstate. You know what lane he's in?  Uh, huh, the left lane. Know which lane merges onto the interstate? You know you're right?  It is the right lane.

So this person deftly forces the nose of his Audi into the middle lane.  It is a big enough nose that this Audi is now totally blocking the middle (my lane) lane. Well there is some horn honking (very rare in this part of the country), and some gesture waving (fairly common in this part of the country.)

Clearly this is not a popular maneuver. But this driver (MORON) also clearly hasn't completed his mission.  He needs to get into that right lane enroute to merging onto this interstate. Well the folks all jammed up in that lane don't see the humor of the predicament. The nose of the Audi will not be merging into the right lane or the highway.  Justice eh? So what have we got here?

We've got a middle lane (including me) totally blocked by the ( MORON OPERATED) Audi.  We have all the vehicles in the right lane voluntarily and stubbornly stopped dead in their snowpack ruts. There is no way in a "hot spot" that Audi is going to be allowed progress.

Oh, and what happens to the left lane where the "Audi Idiot" began his adventure?

Well everybody stuck behind me in the middle lane, merges left with the end result?

Sooooo this is ROAD RAGE!!!!

It is a classic example of the old adage "Don't cut off your Audi to spite your Pontiac." 

Ya know back in my day an incident like that might a meant I'd be late for dinner. But nowadays there's always a Mc Donalds open 24-7.

There is a town west of here (and four thousand feet up from here) where they put this clock out on the ice for the winter?  And then everybody in town bets on the date and time it sinks. I don't want to be the guy who goes in after it. I can't remember what you get if you guess right. 

Now if we did that down here? The prize (AKA SURprize) would be the clock, you and your Audi would get swallowed up by a giant pothole. Right?

But lets look on the bright side.  At least Joel is not your doctor and not everybody has to drink at the same bar.  I'm happy.