Mothers Known, Loved, Admired

Just let me say off the top my wife Peggy is the most beautiful, talented, supportive committed mother I've known.  In fact she's still pretty good at mothering me when I need it. What she's had to work through in life is incredible. I hope she knows I love, admire and respect her beyond reason.

 You don't see this many moons without knowing a lot of mothers. My own birth mother has been up in spiritual space for sometime now. But we still talk once in a while, and I let her know how much I love and admire her. I've had my share of mother-in-laws, including Esther, my current, and I love them all. But in recent years I've gotten to know some pretty special mothers I'd never given much attention to before. 

Some lyrics from John Mayer's," Daughters": "Girls  become lovers who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters, too." The mothers I'm talking about are mothers while most of their peers are still just daughters.

I teach about five classes a semester, and I've yet to get through one of them without discovering a student who is a single mother. I think as a group they are some of the toughest, most beautiful women on the planet. And if you're looking for a model to point out for Mother's Day? Pick a single parent.

I don't think there is a one of them who would say becoming pregnant at this juncture in life was a positive choice, but the ones I've met have all gotten past that stage. They've left the post partem and self pity behind, and said,  "Let's get on with life. I'm going to build a future for me and my child. Don't get in my way."

I'm not going to say there arn't any of these young mothers who are on campus to find a  well heeled mate. But I'll say I haven't met one yet. That would have been the modus operandi of many women in my generation. It may still be the case in higher end private institutions. But this is yet another reason I love being at a commuter college. Students, in this case single mothers, come to the campus with purpose. You see it in their eyes, in their pace, in their determination. "My kid is not going to suffer because I made one error in judgement."

Some of them have great family and friend support systems to give them a hand, but just a hand. Every single mother I've met wants to do it herself. They've all had jobs in addition to going to school. At my encouragement they bring their kids to class when there is a crisis, or not. I think having toddlers in the classroom ought to be part of the diversity we seek.

Their children tend to be high energy, creative, bright, responsive to direction. That may be because they are a reflection of their parents.

I'm not going to name names for fear I might leave some out I didn't even know about. But I want every single mother I've known to know I'm impressed. You are a lot tougher, a lot more determined, far more skillful at making life work than most of us. I really admire you all.

HAPPY SINGLE MOTHER'S DAY

John Mayer's song also implores fathers "to be good to their daughters, too." Today would be a good day for all of us to be good to this special group of daughter-mothers.