Linticular

Wind sculpts and molds our imaginations. I wonder if you see what I see?

BELLS, WHISTLES, CONFETTI, BRASS BAND, ETC.

THE ANNIVERSARY STORY!

Starring Everybody.

Written by pictures, onomatopoeia, and soundbites.

JUST FOLLOW THE BOUNCING PICTURES!

 

Thanks for hanging out with me once in a while over the past year. Love ya all! Except maybe some of you.

 

OH, THE PREDICTION ABOUT THE GREAT PICTURE I'D HAVE FOR YOU TODAY?  IT'S THE WET SWAINSON'S HAWK ON THE DEVELOPMENT SIGN.  I'D ALREADY TAKEN IT WHEN I PREDICTED IT. BUT THEN....YOU KNEW THAT.

I'LL BE BACK SOON...BUT IT'LL PROBABLY BE DIFFERENT. TA!

ONE MORE THING....THE HEADLINE IN THE ROCKY TODAY? 

CRIME DWINDLING

I like it.  It's good news.  But in the newsroom we'd have referred to that as NEWS NARROWLY AVERTED.  Just Can't Win!

THE REEuhl THING

Flirtatious: "AOL, I'd you like a kiss from you....right here!"

Real Mood: Almost Over It!

Prediction: I'm going to get a great picture to share with you tommorrow.

Oh, I am so UNHAPPY! I have written this twice now and it went away both times before I saved it.  So I'm going to save it RIGHT  now and often, or I won't have a posting on the Eve of the Anniversary of PaulsModestMusings.

It just happened a third time. AOL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SOUL!

So, I’m now writing off line and I’ll send this to you all snail mail if I have to. And I’m now drinking a bottle of five dollar merlot.

 

Are you all familiar with the logical notion that the first year of anything can't be it's anniversary? You can't celebrate the repetition of something that hasn't been repeated yet. But there is no way I'm going to drag this out another year.

 

I can’t even remember any special motivation required to get me to write something. Writing has been a passion since I was in the 7th grade.

 

I’ve been essentially writing for a living, in some fashion, for more than 40 years. But this is different. .This is the first time I’ve pushed Myself to write Everyday. NO!, I didn’t write Everyday, but I’m pretty sure my story count beats any year I worked in a newsroom. I know it beats any previous word count.  I’m pretty proud of my output. It is not easy when there never is “A CHECK IN THE MAIL.”

 

Here’s what I’ve liked about this process. I’ve been able to freely break the bonds [I never call them rules] of grammar, punctuation and journalistic story form. I’ve been free to editorialize.[ I've tried to keep it to a minimum, or at least not very inflammatory.] 

 

I like that I haven't been censored. [ I think AOL may have quietly rapped my knuckles a few times. But from what I've seen of some BLOGS?  I'm pretty bland.  I know some of your corporate sites screen me out, but I think that's because they took the wrong side of some of my double entendres. I accuse those corporations of having unclean, nay, overly suspicious mental synaptical vocabulaphobia.]

 

I’ve developed a new style of writing. I’ve been able to ignore the priority of story stacking by committee.  Whatever I think is most important?  Hey, that’s my lead.

 

This has been a wonderful opportunity to connect with some very special people I’ve never met. [ Loved your last response "sighlemaccaba"]

And it’s been a great opportunity to re-connect with some people I’ve tipped a few with over the years.

 

BUT, in the words of our new PRESIDENTIAL SPOKESJOURNALIST, [Don’t sue me Tony Snow] let’s be FAIR and BALANCED.

 

This is a lonely pursuit. I miss the camaraderie of a newsroom. I miss the teamwork of five or six people working hand in hand to get a story on the air.

I miss sitting in a sports bar with Jim Weis following a ten hour day at DIA. We’re both of us downing long neck Buds, staring at sports scores, saying nothing.[THAT'S MEN TALK LADIES]

I miss the adrenelin rush when NEWS BREAKS OUT! What fun to hear a hot story over the scanners and see Deb Stanley come out of her chair like a rocket.

Oh, it happened again! I'll finish this in the morning. This has not been fun.

It's now the morning!

I had some other great stuff here. But I'm going to stop wasting my energy.  Except to imagine?

If there is intelligent life in space and other planets? If that intelligence scours atmospheres for signs of writtencommunication? Then SOME SOUL got my good stuff. And besides, anger and frustration seldom result in anything fun on your anniversary.

BUT DON'T FORGET TO LOOK AT THE NEW PICTURES.

 

Uh, Oh!

Flirtatious: "Wanna watch my TV? I have this incredible newspaper I'd like you to read!"

Real Mood? MIFFED

Prediction: Some event on the planet today really will be terrifying. 

 

Okie Dokie! My button got pushed. I ope', NAY, unfold the Rocky Mountain News this morning?

 

Terrifying bus ride

Oh, My God!

Then the subheads!

"It looks almost like a bomb hit it, like bricks exploded."

Tracey Lepine, 34, whose house was hit by the bus.

16 students, 3 adults taken to hospitals after Denver school bus hits car, house.

It may be that I've been jarred into this senstive state because just as the SUN is coming up this morning?  Peggy is shaking me, and follows up the physical abuse with , "NEWS ALERT, NEWS ALERT! IT'S THURSDAY!"

All this happens after I watched all the video of this TRAGIC event last evening.  It all came from the same HELICOPTER that visited us on campus yesterday.  

PAUSE:  I love people, and especially young people with uncomplicated minds.  I care deeply about kids close to me. When told on  the phone my stepson was stabbed back in the 80's? I raced through red lights, jumped curbs, fishtailed around corners to come to his aid. But you know what? When I found out he was okay? I calmed down!.

Back to the action:

So even TV last night had calmed down. Most of those injured had already been released from the hospital.  There were no life threatening injuries. Everybody is going to be okay!

I'm not criticizing the response by any media. I'd have been leading the pack to get there. And while I don't always like it? I live with the concept that pictures, moving and still, SELL!

MY IRE, is raised by the incessant use of words that can't be topped. "IT IS OR WAS: TERRIFYING,

HORRIFYING, SHOCKING, UNBELIEVABLE, and my all time favorite? TRAGIC!

If everything is a superlative? What's not!

I have heard and seen radio, TV, and newspapers use  TRAGIC in reference to events as "dramatic" as a lost dog.

I'm no reformer. Me blowing off steam isn't going to change anything. But by golly, I want a scale, don't you?

Why can we have a scary bus ride? What's wrong with saying, "what appear to be minor injuries." 

Call this posting an URGENT!

I'll have another one ON MESSAGE about PAULSMODEST MUSING'S ANNIVERSARY  LATER TODAY.

it is newsworthy that its thursday ...thursdays are trash day in our neighborhood

He Said What?

Flirtatious: "Hey, Bank Robber? Need a ride?"

Real Mood: Megaric

Prediction: I still think at least one person is going to go for the five bucks?

My goodness it's Wednesday, the one day a semester I get Rich Westra to visit campus in what he calls, "My News Car." [HELICOPTER] He tells students today his News Car goes for close to Two Million. There's another Million Five in TV gear implanted inside.

Do you remember the addendum to my announcment that I would award 5 dollars to the the writer of the best TV story this week? I said I hoped fuel prices wouldn't  go up to 5 dollars a gallon by friday? That would make me look kind of cheap. Well, if Rich Westra wins the contest? Jet Fuel, which is what Helicopters run on? Well, holy smoke, Jet Fuel now costs 5 dollars a gallon.

"Nice story, Rich. Here's a gallon of gas!"

Well, back to the story.  Another element to a good piece of TV journalism is use of the CUTAWAY.  If I were describing an angry mob in a print story?  I might write, "the governor's remarks were met with  shouts from an unruly, angry crowd. About 500, mostly young people, stood behind police barriers where they were heard chanting TYRANT, WARMONGER."

Well, with the use of TV cutaways? As the Governor is speaking? You cover up some of his spoken words, with video of angry faces. And you blend some of the shouts of TYRANT, WARMONGER, right in with his remarks. That way you are presenting it all at the same time, as it really occured, and no need for written descriptions of the crowd.

Without knowing it, we are all trained to expect cutaways. So, bottom line, I'm going to give you some to play with. The captions with them will be what someone else is saying in the story. The picture or facial and body language then becomes part of the story.

Like Natural Sound or a really good Soundbite, the irony it presents can turn a story in a completely different direction. Example:

The Governor is speaking:

"Thanks to my administration's policies Coloradan's have more money in the bank than they've ever had before."

As he is saying that? You Cut Away to a shot of a bag lady standing in the front of his invited audience with her hand up. No words needed.

Okay, go through the pictures above and enjoy their potential for livening up your story.  

WE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ARE EVOLVING, AND SO IS THIS STORY. ON FRIDAY, THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings, I WILL PRESENT MY VERSION OF OUR TV STORY. THEN I AM GOING TO SET A DEADLINE OF TUESDAY MAY, 4TH FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS.  BE THERE FRIDAY!

please make your story better than rich westras...i don't want to look cheap.

MEANIE!

 

Flirtatious: "I know where you can win five bucks?"

Real Mood: Plum Tuckered Out

Prediction: I still think someone is going to go along with this.

 

Let's start with a little housekeeping.

For those of you who've been tuning in lately? Duane is crawling underneath the deck he built over the bricks where we were keeping score of our Ping Pong wins and lossses? Since I jogged his long term memory? He thinks it's important to find out who was ahead in 1968.  

My sister Theda thinks I'm being mean to you, and says it was "guy's" like me who forced her to drop out of school. That, of course, is nonsense. She's been going to school all her life. And she takes only the classes she wants to take. Don't we all envy her?

Sheila, my Yonker's soul echo, is joining the throngs who've found it necessary to correct my math over the years. Yesterday I said it was five days to go to the FIRST ANNIVERSARY? Well, I of course, was counting Friday.  So sighlemaccaba gently wrote this morning, " just three more days to go?"

But shouldn't the backtiming depend on what time I post on Friday? Oh, well, let's go with Yonkers.  Three more days!

Sheila, by the way, is going to sit back and be amused on Friday.  She has decided to send in her 29.95 for the CLIFF notes, rather than play, "Write This Story."

Okay, let's get back to the story. You now have some basic information to work with. (Remember the story can change anyway you want it to based on what you've got available.  It's just that you have to have the pictures and sound to make it work.)

I'm giving you yet more pictures, onomatopoeia, and captions to play with. 

I've been preaching the Art of Unwriting a TV story. Use few words. Plenty of words just get in the way.  So, one of my students, Lennon,  took a stab at building a story on Monday?

I have his permission to edit his efforts hoping to illustrate some points.  

Using the pictures available Monday, here's Lennon's story:

[PICTURE OF ROOSTER IN PEN]

[NAT SOUND AND CAPTION]

"Cock-a-Doodle Doo! That ought to wake up the planet."

LENNON WRITES: Denver's most popular piece of poultry is missing in action. Neighbors were surprised in what they DID NOT hear yesterday morning. As dawn set, Rufus, an award winning rooster did not crow. (what picturesare you going to use to cover all these words?)

[PICTURE OF STUDENT JUSTIN IN NEW YORK CITY HAT]

[CAPTION]

"I never had rooster before. I wonder is it tastes like chicken?

LENNON WRITES: Neighbors notified authorities immediately. (We don't have any pictures of neighbors, do we?) A small girl seems to be the only witness.

[PICTURE OF GIRL POINTING]

 [CAPTION]

"The rapper looking guy with the NEW YORK CITY hat on? He went that way. I think he's hiding behind the Starbucks."

LENNON WRITES: She said she saw a "hip hop looking rapper guy" ride in on a steer just before dawn.

[PICTURE OF STEER]

[CAPTION:]

"I wouldn't want to steer you in the wrong direction."

LENNON  WRITES: She hopped on her power wheel and followed the bandit as far as she could before her battery ran low, forcing her to return home. ( Tightened up, that's fun copy, but this is TV. We don't have any pictures of a power wheel, or of her skipping home.)

LENNON WRITES: She told authorities that she saw his steer duck behind the alley at the starbucks. ( Now in a bind we could re-use shots of the steer and the girl, but that copy really needs new shots of the witness and a couple of shots of Starbucks.)

(You have to know what video is available, what nat sound you've got, what soundbites you have before you write the story.)

Okay, now lets see if I can turn this into something close to TV.

[PICTURE OF ROOSTER]

[CAPTION OR SOUNDBITE WHILE ROOSTER PIC IS STILL SHOWING]

"Cock-a-Doodle Doo. That ought to wake the planet up"

PAUL WRITES: Rufus woke one man up

[PICTURE OF JUSTIN IN NYC HAT]

[CAPTION WHILE PICTURE OF JUSTIN IS UP.]

"I never had rooster before. I wonder if it tastes like chicken."

[WHILE JUSTIN'S PICTURE IS STILL UP]

PAUL WRITES: The man is out of control. The fowl is on the run.

[PICTURE OF GRASSHOPPER]

[NAT SOUND AND CAPTION]

"Chirp, Chirp. Don't step on me."

PAUL WRITES: Witness to a man in fowl pursuit.

[PICTURE OF GIRL POINTING]

[CAPTION]

" The rapper looking guy with the new york hat on? He went that way. I think he's hiding behind the Starbucks."

[PICTURE OF STEER UP]

PAUL WRITES: the rooster fortunately has a booster.

[CAPTION]

"I wouldn't want to steer you in the wrong direction."

[PICTURE OF ROOSTER UP AGAIN]

PAUL WRITES: Rufus rules the roost once more.

[NAT SOUND]

"cock-a-doodle doo."

PAUL REINERTSON, BIRD BEAT.

So make sure you look at all the pictures, nat sound, and soundbites before you start piecing together your puzzle. Remember, unwrite. MORE PICTURES, SOUND AND CAPTIONS HAVE ARRIVED. DON'T FORGET THE INCENTIVE. FIVE DOLLARS TO THE BEST STUDENT STORY. FIVE DOLLARS TO THE BEST STORY AT LARGE.  FRIDAY IS THE BIG SPECIAL DAY. DON'T BE LEFT OUT.

i forgot how much work it is to unwrite...i'm glad i'm retired.

 

'FIVE MORE DAYS!"

Flirtatious: "Come on sugar, trust me! We don't need no stinkin' pre-nup!"

Real Mood: Dogged

Prediction: When Andy Roddick sees American Dreamz?  He'll be SOOO glad he dumped Mandy Moore.

Let's make one thing clear before former colleagues jump down my throat.  You should not make a practice of just going out and shooting random video, and talking to just anyone? And then turning it all into a story? You shouldn't! But I've heard it's been done ONCE or TWICE.  You should at least have something to connect it all to. ( An "aquaintance" of "mine" tells me almost anything can be tied to the weather.)

But there is actually some journalistic wisdom tied to being willing to shoot anything, and talk to anyone. Sure you want to get out there and get those What,Who, Where, When, Why and How issues into the equation?

But to approach a story with blinders on will often cause you to miss the REAL story altogether. I like to tell students the REAL NEWS? It is always at least a BLOCK away.

Here's two examples I use.  There was a big celebration when they finished up a ten year long highway project in town?  The MAYOR was there, the GOVERNOR was there, the HIGHWAY HONCHO was there, THE CONTRACTOR was there. There were BALLOONS, and a BAND, and SPEECHES GALORE. BACKS were being SLAPPED,  HANDS SHOOK,  RIBBONS cut, CAMERAS ROLLING!

But a wise reporter, not me unfortunately, spotted something the rest of us missed?

Down underneath the flyover we were all on? There stood a tired looking entrepreneur. Access to his business was still surrounded by construction cones.  There was a frustrated tear in one eye. The project had killed his business. He was declaring bankruptcy. Argue with me if you like, but that, I think, was the "REAL STORY."

This one is totally my own.

Every January first? A bunch of WANNA BE MEDIA STAR LUNATICS jump into an icy reservoir to be declared members of the POLAR BEAR CLUB. They dress up in odd costumes and pay a fee to jump into a hole cut in ice. They jump around for enough seconds to turn blue, and then run and get into a hot tub.  Every year it's the same; Same PEOPLE, Same OUTFITS, same SOUNDBITES.

Well I was sent up there one year and the photographer and I made a pact we were going to be different.  We really didn't have to try very hard.

In the middle of the reservoir sat three tightly bundled up "Ice Fisherman."  Wouldn't it be fun to get their perspective on the "Polar Bear Club?"  They were a pretty funny bunch of guys.  And somehow I was able to get the following soundbite on the air:

"All I know about water THAT COLD is what it does to your scrotum."

I guess the bottom line is? Know where you're going, but if you want the real story?  Plan on taking some detours along the way.

So let's take the next step in building our ANNIVERSARY story.

What?: A Bank Robbery, Kidnapping, High Speed Chase.

Who?: A escaped prisoner convicted of not paying back alimony. Kidnap Victim is unknown.

Where?: Last Federal Savings and Loan, 1st and Mulberry. Chase on I-53.5. Search perimeter set up near The Purple River as it flows into The Mukity Muck Golf and Tennis Club.

When?: Robbery 4 p.m. Search continues.

Why?: Neighbor says, (attribution is everything...always cover your bum) suspect is despondent over the pre-nup he signed.

How?: Police are confirming weapon was a red squirt gun. Escape vehicle a Swiss Army troop carrier adapted to street use.

Now we can get back to Pictures, Captions and Onomatopoeia ( I love saying ONOMATOPOEIA, but have a heck of a time remembering how to spell it.)

Now you have a journalistic road map to follow while picking your sound and video. But, remember, the story doesn't have to BE what it started out to be?  And remember try your best to unwrite...let the CHARACTERS...and the PICTURES and the NAT SOUND tell the story.

One more thing to remember! When you are out shooting and interviewing? You'll get a lot more than you need. The art of this form of journalism is effective selection.  Good Pickin's.

Even IF YOU ARE NOT PLAYING THE GAME, YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THE RESULTS ON FRIDAY.  I KNOW SOME OF THESE MINDS! THEY'VE BEEN PLACES.  I ALSO KNOW WHAT MOTIVATES MANY OF THEM....SO I AM GOING TO AWARD 5 DOLLARS TO THE STUDENT I FEEL BEST COMPLETES THE MISSION.  AND ANOTHER 5 DOLLARS GOES TO ONE CITIZEN AT LARGE WHO TICKLES OUR FANCY. ( I was going to make it 10 apiece, but Peggy says NO WAY JOSE! And that's not even my name?")

just hope gas doesn't get up to 5 dollars a gallon by friday..

Count Down

Flirtatious: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! One, Two, Three, Four. I think that's about it."

Real Mood: Driven

Prediction: Someone will go along with this.

This IS the week of the anniversary of PaulsModestMusings. There is no turning back now. When Duane and I were chatting? He wonders if I might have gone a little too far with the promotion.

"What if people are disappointed?"

Actually I'm covered on that issue. In fact some of my media friends who know my AVERSION to misleading headlines and teases? They may be expecting a "shaggy dog," "chicken little," or "little boy who cried wolf" end result.

But a funny thing happens on the way to the anniversary.  Somewhere along the way "The Tale  (tail) starts Wagging the Dog!"

In this case?  I would be that dog.  I am becoming the victim of my own FLUFF.  I've started believing my own press releases. I think I REALLY do want to come up with something special for Friday. We'll see!

So here's my plan.  I'm making an effort to slowly but surely turn out some broadcast TV journalism before your eyes.

As I tell my students in that class, TVJ is all about moving pictures and sound, both  AMBIENT and NATURAL. You won't find this distinction in a dictionary, but Ambient is background sound, while Natural sound is BIG enough, or DRAMATIC enough to help tell the story.

Now I can only produce that NAT SOUND here with some ONOMATOPOEIA. And you are going to have to imagine the pictures are moving.

I'm going to share with you some of my favorite digital snapshots of the past year. The captions will include NAT SOUND and SOUNDBITES (Words spoken by the subjects in the story. Sometimes the speaker will be seen in the picture. Sometimes the speakers words will be covered with what they are commenting on.)

What won't be there will be words the reporter would write to pull the story together. The secret to a really good TV story is to keep those transition phrases to a minimum. As I tell my students the secret is to UNWRITE your story.

So here's the game. Why don't you tune in EVERY DAY this week, and start piecing together your own story using the pictures, sounds and captions I provide.

And I'll be doing the same thing.  And on Friday, the Anniversary of PaulsModestMusings?  We can all compare. What fun, eh?

So, now go back up to the pictures and captions (make sure you see and read them all) and get started. What fun we're all going to have.

WILL YOUR STORY MAKE THE GRADE? WILL THE AUDIENCE STAY TUNED? Or during your story will everyone reach for the remote, and head for the FRIDGE. DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME CREATIVE OPPORTUNITY. THE STORY RACE IS ON! Or you can just send $29.95 and get the CLIFF notes.

here we go!

Wow Factor

That's my good friend Duane Laursen up there.  We get in a quick visit while he is in town for a conference on the health of the oceans. They must have held it here so the sharks couldn't eavesdrop.

It is clearly a privilege to give a tour of this fair city to Duane. Even at his age( same as mine) he holds on to this amazing curiosity about life. He is fascinated by everything around him. He is a retired high school science teacher. It had to have been a life changing experience to be in his class.

I am going to join up with Duane to pass on some advice to  students just getting started in the World. 

I first met Duane in Junior College in an intermural basketball game. We both end up at Long Beach State where Duane gets hooked up, and ultimately marries one of my sister's best friends. A whole bunch of us end up living in Seal Beach after college and a few other adventures.

In those days Duane and I were both closet athletes, he certainly more than I. We ran on the beach, we biked, we hiked, we played tennis, played beach volleyball, and.....let me get back to that.

Were you to talk to anyone who knows or knew either one of us casually? Two of nicest guys you'd ever want to know, right? BRING ON THE PING PONG TABLE.

Put paddles in our hands, eyes glass over, the ball arrives and the war begins. If you play table tennis semi seriously, four or five games can be a workout.

Well, here's two young adult men in Duane's backyard going on their 50th game. This was mostly because neither of us wanted to quit while we were behind.  I don't know Duane, didn't we keep score with chalk marks for a while?   Seems like we put them on some bricks over by the Koi Pond?

I mentioned we played some beach volleyball. Well one night Duane calls me and wants to know if I want to go play "rotate in" volleyball at the Junior High School.

"Come on Duane. We live at the beach. Why do I want to go play at the Junior High?"

"Oh, I think you'll find it challenging."

UNDERSTATEMENT.

On the court that night was at least one Olympian, and this guy named Randy, I think, who was born  with rockets in his feet. (I'm told one night Wilt Chamberlain was there. Thankfully I was not.)

Back to Randy.  I think he was about 5'8"? And when he jumped for a kill at the net, his CHEST was above the net. 

CertainlyRandy must be on some college or professional team? I hope I remember this right. Randy it seems liked hustling on the beach more than championships or trophies. It was easy to think you could whip this 5'8" inch kid in some two man volleyball. Wanna bet?  Not!

Back to that night at the Junior High.  I think I may still have some facial scars from volleyballs coming at me at supersonic speed. But hey I was gong to stick it out no matter what. I was never very good, but I sure learned quickly how to play the game right.

Well Duane and I have casually kept track of each others lives over the years. We live about 17 hundred miles apart.  But you know as we visit here the other day?

"Boy, my knees hurt!"

"Oh, my aching back!"

"How many pills do you take a day?"

"Ten, you?"

"Got ya, just nine."

So I guess I'm getting to the advice.  I don't think either one of us look back and say, "wish I hadn't done all those things."

What we would say is, "wish I'd taken better care of my knees"

"Yeah, wish I'd taken better care of my back."

It's not just the old NFL linemen groaning every morning when they get up. It's also some of us regular guys who occasionally put competition ahead of good sense.

I still play some occassional tennis, but Duane does that and a lot more despite his bad knees. His most noted fete you can witness yourself every New Years Day. He twirls a rope in the Rose Parade. And he does it on foot. 

Thanks for spending some time here Duane. Sorry we couldn't get out to the house. I've got the table tennis table set up in the basement?

SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW. DUANE IS DETERMINED TO STOP BY ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. HE WANTS TO BE THE FIRST ONE HERE.  ARE YOU GOING TO LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT?

i'm wondering if duane would like to get into a little blood pressure reading war.....I'm 120 over 82 this morning thanks to five pills.

  

Meep!" "Meep!"

Flirtatious: "Slow down there! I'd like to take you out to dinner!"

Real Mood: DagNabbed

Prediction: Someone will name a car model, THE COYOTE. And then 30 years from now? Most of that generation will think the COYOTE respirates fossil fuels. Try it out now. Ask your kid to describe a MUSTANG,  or a COUGAR.

Every day you learn something new. Some days it's just dramatic enough you are aware of it.

I'm sure I've told you about the llama that lives in the field behind us with a bunch of cows? 

[SEE PICTURE 1]

 I think I've told you I call it Como Se? And Peggy calls it Dali? And Mike Le Claire calls it "Hey Stupid?"  Mike calls it that because I told everybody the llama thinks it's a cow.

Well here I am going along in life thinking this is pretty strange? This COW LLAMA? But that is apparently because my cowboy and cowgirl friends have not been very forthcoming.

Thanks to Carol Miller, a special friend of Peggy's, I now know why "Como Se" hangs out with Bovine.

According to Carol, llamas have this severe parental protective instinct? And as part of that instinct? They like to kick the Fecal Matter out of coyotes.

Well, we have plenty of cows in this field behind us. Often they have little calves with them (baby cows). We also have a bunch of coyotes in the field behind us. Coyotes, I'm told, are not averse to biting down and turning calves into Veal Scallipini Sushi?

So, with Carol's information, I've been able to think this through. Coyotes like to eat baby cows. Llamas like to use coyotes for kickboxing workouts. So, says cowpoke BillyBob?

"Suppose I get me a llama to think it's a cow?"

[SEE PICTURE 2]

 Enter Como Se Llama!

"Now," I don't have to buy  those expensive bullets, or try to spray those pesky coyotes with Malathion. And little "Dogie" there can grow up to be full grown, money making "Moo Cow."

So you're thinkin, "Poor Wiley Coyote?"

I don't think so.  I'm trying to interest "Wiley" in a diet of Crocus Eating "13 Lined" ground squirrels. I'm figuring I can convince Wiley "13 lined" meat has a lot fewer "Trans Fats."

[SEE PICTURE 3]

I mean what's worse than an overweight coyote with high cholesterol? 

[SEE PICTURE 4]

Like I said, and thank you Carol, you learn something new every day.

AND YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHING NEW IF YOU JOIN ME ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. THERE WILL BE NOTHING MODEST ABOUT THE MUSINGS ON THAT DAY.  WE ARE JUST NINE, COUNT THEM, TEN LESS ONE, DAYS AWAY. THIS APRIL 28TH POSTING COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE! OR NOT?  BUT WOULDN'T IT BE A SHAME IF IT COULD, AND YOU WEREN'T THERE?

any descendents of Davy Crockett out there who've tasted 13 lined ground squirrel?...and don't try to tell me they taste like chicken...if they did the coyotes would already be eatin' em.   

With All the Frills Upon It

Flirtatious: " Want to share my bath water?" [Don't Jump To A Conclusion.]

Real Mood: Full of Peace

Prediction: Some "pea brained adults" will buy their kids baby chickens for Easter.

Well its Easter isn't it? Here's how I know. One, I get up and it is a beautiful day. I see just a few clouds. It's brisk but rapidly warming. It's what I call perfect weather.  The grass is greening up, our Maple and our Elm are starting to leaf out. 

Of course these observations are just Easter extras. They don't fully contribute to my KNOWING it's Easter.

Even before I wash my face...I put on some pants and shoes and head out to get the paper.  That's when it hits me. You see Peggy and I are likely the only Empty Nesters for three miles in any direction?

So up and down the street families are coming off the front porches all dollied up.  Some boys are wearing their first ties. Their hair is set in place with some sort of cement gel.  The girls are in these wonderful pink and blue frilly dresses that belong only to Easter. And they all have hats (we called 'em bonnets in our day.).

They are all happy and chattering and posing for pictures. Then it strikes me hard. Next, they will get into their SUVs and likely head to church.  The option is to have Easter Breakfast instead of Easter Brunch or Easter Lunch before going to services. You see almost every Sunday of the year Peggy and I go out to breakfast?

Remember when you, or you knew about this GUY who used to have a few drinks most days?  And then on New Year's Eve someone invites you, or THIS GUY to this big blow out? What do you or THIS GUY say? Remember? This is what you or THIS GUY said:

" New Years Eve is for amateurs!"

Well, lucky for me I see all these dollied up families.  It allows me to say (to myself), " I NEVER go to breakfast on Easter Sunday.  That's for amateurs." 

So instead I fix myself my potatoe ( I know it's not the preferred spelling, but if a Vice President can do it that way?) and radish omelet. Peggy never seems to feel left out when she doesn't get a bite.

So here's my Easter. I head out on the deck with the paper, my omelete and coffee. And with everybody off to church or breakfast or brunch? It's all mine.  The World is mine.  I do two crossword puzzles while I'm dining. My head is really cleared.There is no wind. If there is a weather menu? This is the entree I pick. Thank you Lord and I didn't even ask.  I own this! 

That's what I'm thinking when a Robin jumps into the bird bath, I'm not exaggerating, two feet in front of me. It takes a few sips and then true to the device's function? The Robin takes this bath, and shares half the water with me!

[SEE PICTURE 1]

Then about ten feet in front me this little head pops up over some edging. Its my friend the 13 lined ground squirrel that shows up every Spring and eats our Crocus. (The book says he's supposed to eat weeds!)  

Then this "danged"  Northern Flicker starts noisily eating the shingles off our roof!

[SEE PICTURE 2]

I don't know what you're reaction to all this might be, but mine?

"Where's My Camera?"

So it's back inside to get the camera and two lenses.

Talk about multitasking. I'm eating my omelet,  drinking my coffee, reading the sports section, keeping my eye out for Robins and Squirrels, changing lenses, adjusting the tripod, and listening to this wonderful silence broken only by the love songs of birds.

Is this what Easter is all about? If it were there might be Peace on Earth.

But, aha, they're BAAck!.  They're getting home from sanctuarys and restaurants. LISTEN to the chatter.

"Mommy, mommy, I found one."

"Thats wonderful sweetie, don't get any mud on your dress. Sweetie,  DO YOU think there might be one over by the rock in front of the rabbit hutch?"

[How'd they get that past the HOA?]

"Hey, Dad, I got seven eggs and I only had to push Julie out of the way three times."

"Is that the best you can do Spike! I taught you better than that. Now get out there and fill up that basket. DO YOU HEAR ME MISTER?"

"Yes sir!."

I wonder if he made his kids pay the entrance fee?

It's all coming back to me now.  Oh, yeah, EASTER!

I got a lot of upset response about my last posting. Some of my students who must soon face the real TV world?  You all need to know you get used to working on Holidays. And as long as they don't come during the top rating periods?  A juicy red delicious apple, one heck of an agent, and some seniority might get you Labor Day off. 

AND LET ME BE GENEROUS. IT'S NOT OFFICIAL, BUT I THINK I JUST MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET YOU OFF FOR AN HOUR ON THE 28TH OF THIS MONTH TO CELEBRATE THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES.

hope you had a wonderful easter...now take the cute little chickens back to the pet store.  

Easter in Joshua Tree

Flirtatious: "Honey, they gave me this really fun story to do? I think you'll like it."

Real Mood: Forthcoming

Prediction: A whole bunch of TV reporters and photographers will have to work on Easter.

I've got a lot to get to this day, so this may be a reading adventure. I'll try to break it up into logical pieces so you don't have to be patient, too!

So tommorrow is Easter?  Isn't that some sort of Christian Holiday where the religion's namesake, a guy named Jesus Christ, wakes up from a comma, walks out of this cave, puts on a jet pack, and motors up to some place called Heaven?

Growing up we even get Dad to go to church with us on Easter. While he writhes in discomfort in his pew, because mom nagged him into wearing a tie?  The rest of us have our spirits filled with music and words of love and sacrifice.

Then, while he gripes about it? Dad, with this mysterious gleam in his eye? He takes us all out to dinner, which is really lunch. (growing up in Chicago during the depression, Dad never found an excuse not to be frugal. Another story.)

But times have changed. I really had to scratch my cerebrum to come up with some of these holiday memories. Holidays just don't seem to be what they used to be. Please let me explain.

[IF YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY..GO AHEAD AND MAKE THIS YOUR FIRST BREAK]

So Peggy is out visiting her mother and sister in Duarte, California (just down the road from Pasadena). They all decide to drive out to look at some property Esther, Peggy's mother, bought a billion years ago.

The undeveloped property is in the High Mojave Desert near the town of Joshua Tree, population 10,000. ( I think Joshua is the guy who fought the battle of Jerico, isn't he?). a Joshua tree is nature's largest form of Yucca plant. (Yucca Valley is the next town over.) All Yuccas are kinda cute, but not big on shade production.

Anyway, you'd think a town with "Joshua" being part of it's name would really be into Easter?  Well apparently that is the case. Peggy tells of a very large temporary sign sitting next to the City Limits marker. It Reads:

FREE EASTER EGG HUNT

I'm surprised they didn't follow that up with ONE TIME ONLY. DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS ONCE IN A LIFE TIME OPPORTUNITY!

[OFFICIAL BREAK POINT 2, GET YOURSELF A DRINK OR SNACK]  I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere.

Look at this student newscast production up top.

The female anchor sitting there, is Melany. (That's Wonderful Walter sitting next to her.) Melany, for one, is getting ready to go out into the real media world. She's going to do well.

But there are lessons to be learned and here's an early graduation present for you Melany.

"EASTER? What's Easter."

"MEMORIAL DAY? What's Memorial Day?"

"JULY 4TH? What's July 4th?"

"COLORADO DAY? What IS Colorado Day?"

"LABOR DAY? Hmmm??

"HALLOWEEN? Something about treats?"

"THANKSGIVING? Something to eat?"

I'll pause right here and give you the answer to all those questions. If you are in TV News?  Those are all days you WORK!

Before you get too excited? The answer also applies to MY BIRTHDAY, CHRISTMAS, and NEW YEAR'S EVE and DAY in that order. It applies during, KWANZA, CHINESE NEW YEAR, PASSOVER, RAMADAN, DAY OF THE DEAD, HANNAKUH, BOXING DAY, CINCO DE MAYO, JUNETEENTH, and sorry Melany, SPRING BREAK.

"Raise your right hands! Now gently wave goodbye to holidays."

[BREAKTIME: RINSE OFF YOUR DISH AND PUT THE SALSA BACK IN THE FRIDGE]

I stop at Thanksgiving so I can tell you a little personal story. Peggy and I get married in September of 1990? She has just moved here from Chicago?

Now I don't know if you ever try to juxtapose events by TIME that seemingly have no connecting relationship?  And then later you find out that they do?  Well, anyway, you might remember that September of 1990 is when Saddaam Hussein decides to invade Kuwait?

Well King George the Elder (Bush) says, " we'll have NONE of that."

"LET'S GO GET 'EM BOYS AND GIRLS."

Meantime I'm trying to get Peggy excited about Halloween. It's to no avail. For a reason she will not reveal, it's her least favorite holiday.   In 1990 and every year since? Halloween consists of me handing out all the junk food (and trying to be cute), while Peggy hides out in a litless room.

So I'm out doing local stories on Kuwaiti's living here, Iraqui students, local doctors being forcefully recruited  to serve, and American famlies being seperated by war.

Peggy, while admittedly light on cooking experience, is looking forward to the next holiday.  It will be quite a spread, AND Peggy's daughter Rhonda will be joining us. While I know I'll be working part of that day? I'm looking forward to our first THANKSGIVING dinner together.

So its the day before the grand feast? An entire National Guard unit in Cortez, Colorado gets called to duty. Thanksgiving will the last meal shared with families before the Privates, and Sgts.and Captains head East.

"What a great human interest story.  Who should we send over there to tell the story. What's Reinertson doing?"

About this time I may have been going to the airport with Peggy to pick up Rhonda, but that's just a memory guess,  and it helps "advance" the story.

" Let's see that map. So here's Denver right here....and you draw a straight line for three hundred fifty miles, as the crow flies, and you find Cortez, here!"

"Pack a bag Paul. You're outta here!"

"Honey, about Thanksgiving and that big meal you're working on? I'm sure glad Rhonda is here. Do you know anybody at all in town you can invite over? "

"WHY!"

You'll hear that question/exclamation a great deal over a carreer in TV news. I think that's why so many reporters and photographers marry each other.  They know it's the only way they're going to be with their loved ones on HOLIDAYS.

[NOW THAT WAS A PRETY LONG RUN. GET UP AND STRETCH...NOT MUCH FURTHER TO GO.]

Peggy and I adapt in what I believe to be a unique fashion. On the big eating holidays? We just go find ourselves a big hotel, preferably near an airport. We don't even make dinner reservations. We just show up. (I'm probably crazy for sharing this with you.)

Most people, especially business people, don't travel on holidays. That leaves these hotels, some 5 star, mostly empty? But for the few who are there? The hotel CHEF feels an obligation to do THE BIG DINNER.

One thanksgiving the Chief Chef ( really big hat) actually comes out and "BREAKS BREAD" with us.  And before we can leave? Two huge brown paper grocery bags (remember them) show up. They are chock full of turkey, and ham, and potatoes, and yams, and cranberrys. So, hey, we don't even miss out on the left overs.

This is not the first time I've revealed this little secret. I did the story twice for TV. WHEN? On HOLIDAYS WHEN NO ONE IS HOME WATCHING TV.? You ARE a NEW audience. There is a chance you're the FIRST to know.

[OKAY STICK AROUND. TAKE A DEEP THORACIC BREATH. HERE COMES THE EXCITING CONCLUSION.]

Now here's some things I learned on that trip to Cortez? I think I should pass them on to Melany and anyone else starting out? Make sure you take along a box lunch if you are covering a family's thanksgiving dinner. Eat it before you go into the house. Drooling all over the camera lens is not advisable.  (They invited you to tell their story, not to dinner.)

But here's the big lesson.  On your way back from Cortez on your first Thanksgiving apart? Don't take the long way home so you can get some pictures of this water fall on the Roaring Fork river starting to ice up!

You know, just about everytime I think I've forgotten that lesson? Someone reminds me of it.

I can't remember how much DAD had to pay to get us into those Easter Egg Hunts? Knowing him, he probably found some FREE ones. What's the going fare in your town?

NO CHARGE, by the way, FOR BEING HERE ON THE 28TH OF APRIL, THE ANNIVERSARY OF PAUL'S MODEST MUSINGS.  THAT POSTING WILL TUG AT YOUR HEART STRINGS, TICKLE YOUR FANCY, RING YOUR BELL, SING YOUR SONG, capture YOUR CLICHE.

Oh, Joshua Tree has it's own National Monument if you're ever out that way. Take your sunscreen.

i was hoping to take the anniversary of PaulsModestMusings off...guess not...i gotta work...maybe next year. right!

Strolling through the Arsenal

Flirtatious: I brought some bottled water. Want a sip?

Real Mood: Expository

Prediction: A bald eagle will be sited at the Rocky Mountain Arsenal Ocotober 17th, 2006, at 5:18 am. ( Now that's going out on a limb!)

It's a blow to our self assurance to have someone expose us to a reality we know nothing about. That's especially true when that reality has been standing right next to us for a lifetime. It's been my goal this semester to get my Broadcast Journalism class to "look many directions" before crossing the journalistic street.

In the path we are about to take? Well, we are not just whipping up some figures of speech. In this case, don't take the NARROW view.

[SEE PICTURE ONE-THE NARROW VIEW]

Go ahead and look straight ahead.  Go ahead and look to your right.  But before you look to your left?

There is an avenue just north of Denver with the exotic label, 56th Avenue. In a straight line it runs West to East for about 20 miles between an industrial part of the metropolitan area, through an abandoned international airport, past the big new airport, ending at a small general aviation airport. That's what you see when you are pretty much looking straight ahead. 

Look to your right while driving  and you are witnessing the nation's largest "INFILL" project. That's developer-government mumbo jumbo of the day.  It means that with the vacuum of an abandoned international airport? What gets sucked into that land? DEVELOPMENT.

Since 1942 we've all been reluctant to turn our heads LEFT while driving along a portion of 56th Avenue. That's because we've been told, THERE, behind a tall fence, lay an EVIL place. Stare at it? You're hair may fall out. You could be blinded or become impotent. DRINK IT'S WATER? Instant DEATH!

The place has a name. It's THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN ARSENAL.

While a paid once a month journalist I found a way to do at least one story a year at the Rocky Mountain Arsenal. It was not because I wanted to frighten anyone. To the contrary, I hoped we could all make peace with the place.

The Arsenal used to be a place where the army made those nasty old mustard and nerve gas bombs. When the World shames us into not doing that anymore?  Shell Oil shows up and makes pesticides.  For a period The Arsenal is labeled the most polluted place on Earth. 

(I wonder if those labelers had ever been to Gary, Indiana. Sorry Garyites.  I was only there twice, but you didn't make me feel very environmentally welcome.)

We in the news media were often given carefully guided tours of the Arsenal. Congress and the Army shut that "puppy" down in the 90's and started cleaning it up. So during one of the cleanup tours it catches my eye that in the shade of some hunk of metal? A hunk of metal probably once used to make Sarin Gas Bombs? There in that shade lie three very healthy looking Mule Deer does. There is an  8 point buck looking on.

Well it turns out during the cleanup process it's discovered this place is loaded with wildlife. It forces official after official, politician after politician to take a wider view of what's going on at this EVIL place.

[SEE PICTURE TWO, THE WIDER VIEW]

Well in the 47 square miles once called the Arsenal? 1200 Deer have been discovered. About a third of those are the skittish, and rare for these parts, White Tale variety.

There are over 300 species of Wildlife on the property. Between 60 and 90 Bald Eagles visit the Arsenal for five months every Winter.  No pesticide deaths. No feathers falling out. (there are a lot of violent prarie dog fatalities)  It's just a great place to visit. And for the wildlife, most of which have a choice, it's apparently a great place to live.

Still a little cleanup going on, but this place if very close to becoming what the hypsters are NOW calling THE LARGEST URBAN WILDLIFE REFUGE in the World.  But you know what? Only one of my students in this class knew it was here? And that's because she lived about a block away from it for a while? She says she didn't like the taste of the water around here. But it never made her sick.

Why hadn't the others known about this great Wildlife Refuge? I'm no expert, but I think it's because we have a tough time giving up our fears.  For those who've known the arsenal the "FEAR FACTOR" has been a blessing. Back in the 80's one of my stepsons used to get in the lottery to fish here. I recall him telling me he was practically alone on the one lake citizens were able to Angle.  I remember no details, but I can tell you he caught some beauties. Sorry, no pictures.

So what do you do for succeeding generations? Do you take Arsenal out of the name and pretend it never happened? Or do you highlight the transition of EVIL to SANCTUARY?

Or maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and enjoy the fishing. Anyway, if my students live, a new Arsenal cult has been born.

[SEE PICTURE THREE-THE PLEA]

Some of you will think this is burying the lead.  On a scale of one to ten if we agree that there is some sexual voyeurism in all of us? I'd like to think I'm a two.  I get embarrassed for the participants, and will circle wide to avoid gawking.

But I came upon a situation this week on campus I feel compelled to share.  I'm heading from my car to the elevator (I know I should take the stairs). During my wait period, after pushing the button, I hear this tremendous commotion behind me. I turn and what do I see? Here is a male having sexual relaltions with a female!

They are SPARROWS and I'm embarrassed to say I am mesmerized. This horny little male is all over the female, even though she just sits here, seemingly unimpressed.

The act itself seems to take about 3 seconds, but it is repeated over and over and over again.

You look for parallels to human activity? (well I do anyway) In this case I see few. For instance, the Male is the pretty one. And here's the punchline I guess. In sparrow sex? The Male is the SCREAMER. And the female clearly makes no effort to fake it.

Well I promise to KEEP THAT KIND OF STUFF OUT OF THE POSTING ON APRIL 28TH. WHAT'S APRIL 28TH? Why, you know! IT'S THE ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. Nothing modest about today's, EH?  

no, they don't do it in flight...at least not here...birds here are automatically part of the "mile high" club...they've got nothing to prove.

Ya know?

Flirtatious: "Blossom for your hair?"

Real Mood: Bloomed

Prediction: A coyote will eat a prarie dog tommorrow. 

So, sometime in the Spring, you're walking along a path, and you look up and all the flowering trees are in BLOOM! They weren't in BLOOM yesterday. They weren't in BLOOM last night. At some instant in time they BLOOMED, and you missed the moment.  And it's not just one tree that BLOOMED. They all BLOOMED at the same time, and where were you?  Where was I? Has anyone ever witnessed this special moment in nature?  I've not.  I've not talked to anyone who has.

Maybe some botantists and nature photographers have captured  the moment?  But if they had,  you'd think they'd tell us. The blossoms are so impressive on their opening day, you'd think they (the blossoms) would want to be acknowledged for their impressive coordination.

I can understand an Aspen grove leafing out on the same day.  You may or may not know those Aspen are all one living unit.

But these Crabapples for instance? They are communicating on some level that's beyond our consciousness..  And they are playing games with us. 

"Okay guys, he's focused on us right now. Let's do it when he blinks. Go on my signal. There's the BLINK! Okay, THREE, TWO, ONE, BLOOM!"

In the words of the late Ed Sullivan?

"This is a great time of year to start thinking about nature's "really, really, really, big shews (AKA SHOWS)."

If you've been naive about the force of water? (Who after the Tsunami and  Katrina could be?) Get up in the mountains and watch creeks and gullies fill up streams and rivers racing downhill. (DON'T GET TOO CLOSE AND HAVE AN ESCAPE ROUTE MAPPED OUT.) The force, the symphonic noise, the mist, all combine to overwhelm and mesmerize you.

Watch a tree limb race downstream at unblievable speed. Watch it bounce of rocks and bob up and down through eddies, a victim of gravity's pull.

Watch an iced over waterfall begin its steady DRIP, DRIP, DRIP! Then go back a week later and listen to the impressive "SPLAT" and "ROAR"  as tons of WET HAMMERS  and CHISELS carve new works of art for us to discover..

High Mountain Wildflowers don't typically show up until mid Summer. But want a really colorful show here in Colorado?  About a month from now, mid-may, go in search of the Mountain Iris. Gigantic fields of purple between 7 and 10 thousand feet. It's a good idea to stay on the road. It's the mud season.

This imaginary sensory trip is JUST A NIBBLE OF THE VISUAL AND AURAL FEAST THAT WILL BEFALL YOU ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. GET YOUR NAPKINS READY. SHARPEN UP YOUR KNIVES AND FORKS. TOGETHER WE WILL CARVE? blah, blah, blah, blah. 

for my generation's eyes only: isn't a blossom just a "flower child?"

 

You Be The Judge!

Flirtatious: "Now you put your left hand on the club like this, and then your bring your right hand over the top of it like this!"

Real Mood: In Recovery

Prediction: Phil Mickelson will win the Masters. (You're kidding? He did? You mean I'm right?)  (It wouldn't be right for me to compile all my predictions and see how many I got right. One of you should do that for me.)

Let us return now to our soap opera, "Instinctively Distinct."

In Chapter two we found Paul still roaming the Earth in a dither. What could possibly bring him back into the world of sense, and let me be redundant, order?

"Come  on Silly! Golf of course."

Paul and Peggy are watching the Master's golfers finish up their third round due to a rain delay.  Here is a game that's easy to follow. They all take turns hitting balls. The one who hits his balls (Annika Sorenstam not invited) the fewest times, wins!  It's simple. It's orderly.  Follow the rules and the order you  are supposed to play in? You, too, might become a Master.

Keep this in mind because I've got some inside information that Paul is going lead us astray.

Peggy likes to paint.  I think in her younger days she would have excelled as a grafitti artist. I say that because I've never seen a surface she didn't want to slap some paint on.

Me? I like to play with words and images. I love double and triple entendre. I'm like a child when  it comes to an opportunity to play punster. (Only Wayne Harrison, who you may not know, is worse.)  

You know that's not always a popular trait? I'm not sure I can give you a good number on how many people close to me have uttered, "Paul? Grow Up."

Of course my 'instinctively distinct' reply is, "Why?"

I hope you haven't forgotten that Peggy and I are watching the Master's Golf Tournament this morning.  Well, we take a break when they finish the third round. We go for a three mile walk.

(THREE is not a number significant to this posting. But since it popped up? Did you realize how addicted to three's we are? If you order a coke?

"Small, Medium or Large sir?"

Renting a car?

"Compact, Mid Size or Full Size sir?"

I used to tell my Speech students that if you shared FOUR points with your audience? You wasted some time because they started looking for the summary after three.)

Go ahead and get  back to your three bean salad and I'll try to get back on "message."

Let's see? Did I tell you Peggy likes to paint on most all surfaces? I think I might have suggested I love to fool around with words? And let's see, didn't I tell you we go for this three mile hike after watching the third round of the Masters? If not, what I just wrote should get you up to speed.

So as we are "hopping along the bunny trail?" Peggy sees some big rocks stacked on top of each other like they are a monument? The only relevance of that observation is that it got me to thinkin? Lately Peggy has been picking up rocks out of the yard? And painting on them?  I've discoverd a ROCK is not necessarily and DISTINCTIVELY a ROCK. Peggy can turn them into anything her little imagination desires.

One of the interesting things about this Master's Tournament is how many of the old Master's are leading the pack on the final round.  Even old Rocco.

So anyway we're hitting the last mile of our walk and I espy some wonderfully shaped rocks that could be cars, or books, or motorcyles. They could just be whatever Peggy "The Surface Painter" wants them to be.

I say to Peggy, who is not currently watching the old timers like Rocco in the Master's Tournament, " you want me to pick up some of those rocks and take them home so you can paint on them?"

Forget the Grafitti prediction? Peggy would never paint on anything she didn't own? These rocks were where they were meant to be!

"NO! PAUL, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

I was thnkin' I could get her some rocks she could paint on while we watched the final round of the Masters.

You can tell it's hard to shut me up.

"Peggy, nobody is going to miss a few rocks. If they did we wouldn't have the Washington Monument!"

"Easy for you to say. I would be the one who'd get thrown behind bars."

My mind wanders for a minute and I'm thinking about the Masters and wondering if Rocco Mediate is still in the running. Then Back on Point.

"Look Peggy just pick up a ROCK and OH, if you get arrested? I'll MEDIATE!"

That's it. That's why you stuck around. You stuck around to imagine me sitting in front of my computer giggling and thinking how clever I am.

Go ahead, get it out of your system!

"PAUL! GROW UP!"

Not an Instinctively Distinct chance!

WE ARE DISTINCTIVELY MARCHING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. AS EXCITING AS THIS POSTING WAS? NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT WE'LL BE DOING APRIL 28TH.

peggy and i are wondering why magazine publishers think we want an average of five ad inserts to fall into our laps while we are perusing their print.  when does "saturation" turn to "aggravation."  

For the record? I perdicted Mickelson's victory an hour before he acutally won it.  You can confirm that with a time stamp of some sort.

April Showers can be White!

Flirtatious: "If I said, 'I like your eyebrows?'  Would you hold them against me?"

Real Mood: Adrift

Prediction:  I may not be able to accomplish this, but all Western State Mountain reservoirs will hold their water this summer.

As we last EAVESDROPPED on our BLOGSTER, phinos, his sanity was being questioned. Did he return to planet earth? Will his ramblings find some focus. 

Let's return now to the scene. Is that him sitting there on the porch shaking his newspaper like a fan in the middle of snowdrift? It doesn't look good.  Let's move in closer and see if we can't hear what he seems to be mumbling.

I'm not sure it's a good thing. Sighlemaccaba understands me. And, at least on the surface, tends to empathize with me. Read her response to my last entry and you'll see what I mean.

I've been talking to one of my former students, Elena Brown, about mainstream media shooting itself in the collective foot. 

(Elena is a flight attendant for that airline that went into bankruptcy, got rid of it's retirement obligations, fired a bunch of veterans, and now that it's out of bankruptcy?  Is hiring a sea of new employees for a dime an hour. Almost none of which is relevant to the topic.)

So Elena, like many airline employees, rides the bus to the airport to avoid a lot of hassle.  The transporation district has even kept that route running during the transporation strike going on here.  Problem is? Because of the strike, and so many cars on the road?  The Sky Ride is packed and some employees are not getting to work on time.  And if they do? I get the impression from Elena they get there cranky. So Elena is asking me?

"Paul, why isn't the news covering the strike impact on the airport?"

I thought about it for a millisecond and then let my synapses fly.

"Elena, in essence they've given up.  They no longer do anything in depth. They leave that STUFF up to the websites. There are a few vestigal attempts, but I'm seeing fewer and fewer newspaper sidebars or radio and TV features and documentaries."

"Just give me the facts maam! And then we gotta move on!"

I don't even know if I'm right about this, but it's my gut level sense that mainstream media has neither the time, resources nor inclination to compete with the BLOGGERS, WEBSITES, PODCASTERS, ETC. What's your impression?

And speaking of newspapers. Knowing they've got web competition? If they still want to cut down trees and throw papers on our front porches or driveways every morning?

PUT THOSE PAPERS IN PLASTIC WRAP THAT DOESN'T LEAK. DON'T LOOK AT A DRIVEWAY WITH AN INCH OF SNOW ON IT AND THINK IT IS OKAY TO JUST TOSS THE HARDWORK OF JOURNALISTS, EDITORS AND PRINTERS RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF IT.

IT'S WAY TOO EASY FOR ME TO GO GET MY NEWS FROM blahblahtimes.com. (wouldn't it be fun if that's a real site? I think I'll go check, and if I have something to report you're going to read about it.)

TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO SEE IF PAUL HAS STOPPED BOUNCING OFF THE WALL. WILL HE TOUCH TERRA FERMA IN TIME FOR THE ANNIVERSARY OF Paul'sModestMusings? DON'T BE THE LAST TO KNOW. APRIL 28TH IS NOT VERY FAR AWAY.

i've been looking at the snow reports and the "abominable snowpack man" is going to have to eat his fluff. he predicts a rough dry summer for parts of the state? looks to me like most of the state will be under water this summer. 5 bucks says he measures again and changes his tune.

Are You Staring at Me!

Fliratatious: "It says in the book here that if I WINK at you, you'll respond in some fashion."

Real Mood: Not found in the MOOD MANUAL

Prediction: When Jupiter aligns with Mars most of us will still have HAIR.

College Basketball Fans go "Mad" in March. In my passion to be distinct, I like to go stark raving "MAD" in April.

I was just reading my last posting. Whoa! Who was that guy?  Does that happen to you sometimes when your head fills up with stuff? Do you just go temporarily INSANE? If not, don't share.

I think I'm still in the mystic labyrinth of stuff sorting. So please approach with CAUTION.

I took my Broadcast Journalism class to the TV station I retired from today. I was bombarded with memories, ergo, emotional overload.

Jen, and Gail and Ian, and Deb, and Lance and Carrie, and Melissa, and Jeff and Anne, and John F and John B, and is that Marylyn over there? Hey Gary! What's up? And all the GHOSTS! I'm sorry but I gotta stop.

If you've worked in a newsroom? You know what I'm talking about. Most of you haven't! So instead "LET'S JUST RAMBLE!"

Dust swirls in front of him as a predicted storm rolls in. Birds that normally flit and frolic around the bird feeder are now huddled together in the mid branches of an evergreen.  They protect themselves instinctly when threatened.

I'm just tossing it out there, but it seems we homo sapiens often  screw things up by trying to think our way out of crises.  I'm sure somebody is going to get all over me for this, but here goes.

How many families have really been saved from fire because they practiced escape routes from the house?

The house is on fire? Get out!

It's snowing and the roads are icy?

Don't dress in your best leathers and wear your helmut! Fool! Don't even get the motorcycle out of the garage.

Somewhere along the line, for some reason?  We cover up our instincts for survival with psuedo intellectual gunk.  We over plan and we over train for every eventuality we can think of. When does the LIVING begin. 

When is the last time any of us discovered something?  You can't discover anything if you are just following the instruction book,  and not partnering up with you instincts!

I don't rightly know where I'm going with this  So on advice from my step daughter Rhonda?  I'm going to just stop at this point.......and instinctly create mystery by adding, "AND THEN......."

Be sure to TUNE IN tommorrow for CHAPTER 2  of  "INSTINCTIVELY DISTINCT." THE STORY WILL BUILD TO A TREMENDOUS CLIMAX WITH THE DENOUMENT COMING ON APRIL 28TH! ISN'T THAT THE ANNIVERSARY DATE OF PaulsModestMusings?

"YES! I THINK IT IS."

 

It Makes No Sense!

Flirtatious: "The bus ain't comin'! Want a ride on the back of my Schwin?"

Real Mood: Frisky

Prediction: Less than one percent of the world's population will ever connect a "Bus Strike" with  Lisistrata. (I'm going to check the spelling and get back to you.) (Apparently you can spell it that way, although Lysistrata, with a 'Y' seems to be the preferred English spelling. But in Italian they seem to like all I's.) ( Is it strange to find Lysistrata available on Amazon.Com?)

Lets tie up some loose ends. Here's something you won't see in the mainstream media:

ERROR: Headlining of an ADMITTED error on the FONT PAGE or 'A' BLOCK!

Knee jerk reaction? Trying to be cute? Saying Bill Walton was the last UCLA center to be in the final four? The Bruins had centers playing for them in '80 and '95 too. Walton played in the 70's when I was paying attention.

One of my postings on connections has drawn a lot of attention. Duane Larson offers up two really bizzare sets of circumstances.

I'll try to summarize one of them.  Duane's Brother-in-law has a screen crush on Ginger Rogers. He writes to her from Atlanta? Says he'd like to take her to lunch? No response. So Duane's sister writes to Ginger saying in essence, "he's harmless." So Ginger says okay, just lunch. Lunch happens.

Next trip Duane's sister comes along and she and Ginger really hit it off.  In fact, brother-in-law gets left in the dust as Ginger and Duane's sister Linda become great friends. Sister Linda even helps Ginger move off her farm in Oregon.

Jump ahead how many years? Duane and his wife Nancy are playing in a tennis tourney in Arizona? And one of the women there turns out to be Ginger's personal secretary?  A few drinks at a cocktail party and the secretary says, "hey you guys want to talk to Ginger?"

"Sure!"

The secretary calls the SECRET NUMBER! 

"Ginger Roger's House!"

"Is she there?"

"Nope, she's out."

"Is this Linda?"

"Yeah?'

"Hey, Duane, you want to talk to your sister?"
 

Here's some more of that kind of stuff. I find out in class that Carrisa Deutcher, a student, grew up on a farm in Kansas just South of Ness City, Kansas. No doubt her family and Melany Fehrenbach's family crossed paths.

 ( If you're new to this story just roll with the punches. You can always go back and fill in the blanks at you leisure.)

(It might be a good time to remind anybody that I was born with my tongue attached to my cheek. I figure if I say that it'll be my defense in any lawsuit.)

Meantime, my cousin Bill, whose sister Shiela married Larry Miller who taught and coached at Ness City? Bill asks Larry, who says he coached quite a few of the Fehrenbach boys. In Larry's words to Bill, "they were all fine boys, good athletes and good students."

And I may have already told you, but another student, Beth Hannon says she was born in Sacramento and is pretty sure vacationed as a child in Santa Cruz where she likely played near my family's friend's hamburger stand not too far from where my nephew Matt lives with his wife Michele, who has grown up in Santa Cruz, and might know of Melany's Mom's family, since Melany's mom grew up in Santa Cruz where my student Kimmy Hidalgo grew up and skim boarded until she moved to Denver. I remember seeing Kimmy and Melany in the same room together once.

And let's not forget sighlemaccaba! She's from Yonkers but has a bunch of relatives that have called Santa Cruz home all their lives.

So Duane! Do you think Ginger Rogers or your sister ever lived in Santa Cruz or Ness City or Yonkers?

Peggy Adds: "My life long friend Nikki lives in San Jose?"

And did you know that Suzanne Sommers grew up in San Bruno and then married Bruce Sommers and moved to San Francisco?

Good luck to Brianne Bateman, a student in my announcing class? She made the first cut for the Denver Bronco's Cheerleader Squad. She's been on the team, but like the players?  I guess they have to prove themselves every year. And Brianne reminds us that while they are referred to as cheerleaders?  They are dancers and ________good ones. Don't forget it.

[SEE PICTURE 2]

So we have a transit strike going on in town? Our campus is highly bus and light rail dependent. So I'm thinking I'm going to be lecturing to "air" this week. Not so! There are a few caught off guard, and I'm sure a few who are using the excuse.  But I'm amazed at how many jump to the challenge. 

The best story I hear comes from student Benu Amun-Ra, who just jumps on her bike and rides 20 miles to campus.

[SEE PICTURE 1]

I tell you this because I want you to picture this very animated woman? Standing in the middle of the classroom? Rolling up her sleeves? Forming a body builders pose? What does she declare?

BODY BY R.T.D. (Regional Transporation District)

Unless you are being tarred and feathered on a daily basis? I don't think you should  strike a tax supported entity! You think you're striking back at the FAT CATS.  But you are striking against your neighbors and friends. They don't understand.

Go ahead and picket the Governor's house. Spray graffitti on the sidewalks outside all the board members houses. Tip the media to a secret affair the Manager is having with the Mayor's wife. Get on talk shows and whine! Do all those things and more, but don't strike against the taxpayers.

You might get what you want in your paycheck! But you'll need it because the price of good will just went WAY UP!  That sounds like a sermon, but it's really just an observation based on way too much experience.   

GOT TO GET THESE LOOSE ENDS OUT OF THE WAY SO WE CAN FOCUS ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. There's another loose end. (Hang on just a second. I gotta go check something.) Yep, here's the deal! AOL SAYS I'VE  BEEN DOING THIS SINCE APRIL 26TH, 2005. BUT THEY DON'T SHOW AN ENTRY UNTIL THE 28TH? SO I'M THINKING I'M GOING TO GO WITH THE 28TH?  BUT YOU CAN VOTE!

i gotta run! i think somebody is after me! i hope it's not lysistrata or worse, Aristophanes?