Things that go Bump

Flirtatious: Why don't you come over to my place and I'll fry up some pollywogs? My toe nail chips are to die for.

Real Mood: Creepy

Prediction: Tonight no one will be swallowed up by the earth in our front yard, and we'll be saluted for it. (WHAT is he blabbering about now?)

Happy Halloween. Seen any apparitions? Just as I arrived in here I hear this tightly clustered, "puh, puh, puh,puh,puh,puh."

I quickly look around, and you know there is almost always a simple explanation for life's mysteries?  It was just this old boom box that some "ghost" had set off by moving the selector button from "Off" to "CD." I just said "BOO!," and she took off.  I think her name is Millie. She's a pretty good ol' gal. (or would that be guy?) For the most part we leave her alone? She leaves us alone.

You know what really  scares me the most? A Sixteen year old boy who dresses up like Zorro and "Trick or Treats" with a gunny sack...that scares me big time.  There always seems to be one.

Something else is scary around here.  We had to dig up a tree that just wasn't making it. I think we yanked it up from Earth in early Spring. We tried to fill up the resultant abyss by tossing big rocks into the void. You know rocks are heavier than dirt? Ultimately the granite heavy weights form a whole new hole.  Then grass arrives as a camouflage. Pretty scary huh?

What's really scary is that Peggy thinks some toddler is going to stray away from the "ghoul pack" and get sucked into this five inch deep pit. Some 16 year old sibling to the child (dressed up like Zorro), will bear witness to his attorney father, and we'll get sued. We'll spend the rest of our days doing penance on a "chain gang" in Barstow. Wow! Pretty scary, huh?

NO, what's really scary is what Peggy had me do about this pending threat to our peaceful existence.  As the little gobblins draw nigh to our front door, they'll look through the little peep holes in their costumes, and see something soooooo strange. It will be an American Flag on a stick sitting in the middle of the "old tree" hole.   You know I'm just going to refer all questions to Peggy.

We've already got adults in the neighborhood staring incredulously at our display.  They've all spent a month concocting tombstones and giant bats that fly around in their yards for "All Hallow's Eve." WE put up a flag.

"Ya think maybe their long term memories finally snapped, and they think it's the Fourth of July?"

"All I know is when we take the kids around tonight let's not stop at the Reinertsons. Their stuff is never very good anyway. One year HE  was handing out marshmellows. And besides, they're old."

"That's okay, I guess. Maybe we'll just sell the house and go live some place where leaf raking is a crime."

"Did you hear that? The Reinertsons might move!"

"Ha!Ha! Fat Chance. Trick or Treat, April Fools, Happy 4th of July."

I really love this pagan celebration.

Bringing scary home to reality? This will be my friend Mindy's first full day in New Orleans. It's also her first full day as a journalist visiting a major disaster site. She'd love to have you follow along.

mediamindy.com