"Blowhard"

Flirtatious: "How'd ya like to get some popcorn and go watch them pull that statue of Saddam Hussein down?"

Real Mood: Perilously Pompous

Prediction: "The South Will Rise Again!" Tara won't And Clark Gable still won't give a Dang!"

 

Why is it I mention toilet and everybody shows up? What happens when I mention SEX,  AKA the Society for Enigmatic Xenophobes? This will be a fun test.

But I'm here to talk about what? Hurricanes of course. The wind kind, not the football kind. I might get a bigger audience if I stick to football, and toss in a sidebar about the SEX (Social Engineering Xanthippi) habits of the cheerleaders. But back to reality, kinda, heh?

My Intro class and I watch a half hour of coverage of Hurricane Wilma today. I let them vote and they choose CNN to analyse. I toss out some unfair leading questions for them to ponder while watching.

Are the anchors and reporters providing  useful information or just getting face time?

I think they agree with me that it is about split. There are a few nice show and tell pieces that focus on the video and real people involved. There are of course really embarrassing promos of John Zarella and Anderson Cooper hugging each other like they are about to meet their maker. I was ready to say "guys, get a room."

I have to pause here to talk about two of the dumber live shot performances I've seen in a while.

One is a reporter standing live in the wind at a 45 degree angle for I'm thinking maybe 10 minutes? He starts putting on a little low physical humor performance. At one point he gets hit by some flying tin, stumbles, and then quickly rolls right back into his 45 degree posture. He'd have been great in a Moliere play. Understudy to Harpo Marx might fit his talent. It's in the middle of the night and I have  the volume down. There is no way I can  hear what he is saying. That's a good thing. I can not take him seriously.   I don't know what network he is affiliated with,  and I'm pretty sure that network doesn't want us to get that information.

The other one is some guy on a different network hanging on to a flapping pole at a similar angle. I can't hear him either, but he's hanging on to this pole casually giving his rendition of Hurricane 101.  But he looks like he is about to break into song...or wait a minute. I think he's just warming up for the maypole dance. (There I go with the SEX reference again.) I know which network he is with, but in fairness I'll keep my mouth shut. But I'm going to tell you right now it's not worth going to jail over.

Okay that's out of my system.

Do the students really care to know the scientific makeup and behavior of hurricanes? Do they want or need to know that a MILLIBAR is a unit of atmospheric pressure?

Most agree with me that all they really want to know is "where is Wilma?  What is she going to do? How is she going to affect me?"  Or, as I like to put it, "how should I dress today?" Septupal Doppler Radar will not get me to watch TV. 

Surprisingly there are quite a few who feel  knowing enough about the science to do some future planning on their own is helpful.  This impresses me but does not recruit me. Being in the business for 30 years I can tell you all about a striated lintincular cloud. But I sure as heck don't want to be held responsible for telling you what its about to do to you. This is no science for amateurs.

Do the students think the cameras or video are supporting the news reports?

This leads into one of my pet peeves, the edited video loop. It's a time saver in times of crisis but it violates one of the major tenets of TV news. "Say it! See it!"

The words and the video need to match. The students agree with me, but only after I lead them to the conclusion with a persuasive speech. I know the loop is critical to 24 hour news operations. There is no way they can produce enough video to match up with every word uttered. But I'd almost rather see graphics (which I'm no fan of) than a reporter talking about Alan Greenspan, while we are all looking at his heir apparent. How many times can we see the statue of Saddam Hussein come down before we drift into a desensitized collective yawn. 

Why is there more early coverage of Wilma than for Katrina and Rita?

The students and you might want to say it's because, like FEMA, they've learned so much from the other hurricanes. Maybe a little bit, but that's not it.  Wilma cooperated. She hit an area used to televising hurricane mayhem.

I can bet CNN reporter John Zarella (he grew up in Florida) can name a hundred special places to get a live shot out where winds are blowing, docks are crumbling, idiots are swimming, etc. (I  tell the class I can point you to a whole bunch of places where cars will always run into each other in a snow storm.)   Zarella doesn't have to look for this "stuff."  He just has to go there. And the live trucks and satellite trucks don't have to leave home. And CNN gets a break on out of town dinnner expenses. Most of these people can sleep in their own beds if  they are not floating in the Atlantic.

We discuss some other issues but I don't think we should go there without a video loop. And besides if I keep up with all this SEX talk its going to affect my PG-13 rating. ( Polygon Gladiolus, variety 13) Later Gator. Don't you love that Florida jargon?