"Piling it On"

Flirtatious: Like to come up to my place and read my slide rule?

Real Mood: Cryptic

Prediction: The coyote will bay at the moon even in June after devouring a loon.

In an ideal journalistic world a story of any merit should be followed to it's logical conclusion. Truth is it seldom happens. Even in print, priorties change. The resultant story triage may leave your favorite yarn hanging in the wind. There are many internal and external pressures that must be brought to bear to keep your story alive. Well, that's what's great about blogging. It's just you and me baby. 

I know you are going to want to follow the story of my leaves falling off the Maple tree. Rest assured I'm going to keep you in the loop until every leaf is either raked up, bagged or demolished by the mower.

Of course to keep a story alive you need a fresh angle every day. See how you like this lead.

[Anchor Rock Solid]

Thousands of leaves have fallen to their death at the hands of nature. Paul Reinertson joins us live at the site of the annual carnage.

[Paul Live]

Thanks Rock. No matter how many time's I've covered this tragedy, I'm always gobsmacked at the enormity of it all. I'm going to ask photo journalist  Billy Bob, if he'll just pan over to show folks at home what I'm talking about. 

As you can see we're not just dealing with just a few wispy leaves yanked from their moorings by the wind.  No, here before us we are looking at appoximately 13 thousand five hundred ten wisps of nature meeting their annual demise.

Mary Quitecontrary lives right next door and witnessed the GRAVITY of it all:

[Mary Quitecontrary]

It's just awful. My kids used to play in the shade of those leaves. My dog relieved itself repeatedly on the very spot where they've all been raked up. I don't know what I'm going to tell my family.

[Paul Live]

And that's just one neighbor Rock. This is going to impact the whole block. We're going to try and get more reaction and get back to you. Rock?

[Anchor Rock Solid]

Thanks Paul. Let me ask you one question before you go. Do you think we've seen the worst of it?

[Paul]

Fraid not Rock. I don't think we've seen even a tenth of the leaves fall off this big burly Maple. I'm guessing we'll be here all week keeping everybody at home up to speed.

[Rock]

Just one more more (not a typo) question Paul. You estimated  the current number of leaves in the pile at 13 thousand five hundred ten. Is that an official estimate.

[Paul]

No Rock. That's just my personal estimate. And when you've covered as many dying leaf stories as I have, you get pretty good at it. I actually think I'm probably a few leaves short of the real number.  But I think people are upset enough so I rounded down.

[Rock]

Paul just one more, more, more (not a typo) question. I'm fascinated and I'm sure the folks at home join me in wanting to know how you do these estimates.

[Paul]

Well I've always kind of thought of it as a trade secret. But I guess it's time to share. See how the pile is shaped in a circle, sort of like a pie. Well using my eye sort of like a knife I cut that circle into ten angular pieces.  I count the number of leaves in one slice in a one inch layer.  Now remember the pie is in ten pieces. So I simply multiply my count by ten. 

[Rock]

And that's it?

[Paul]

Not by your chinny chin chin Rock. Now we've just got a number representing a one inch layer.  As you can see this pile is 3 feet, 7 inchs tall. If we break that down we get a total of 43 inches.

[Rock]

Ah, I get it. You just mulitply the number you got for the one inch layer and multiply it by 43 and you've got your estimate.

[Paul]

I wish it were that easy Rock. You see you have to allow for the slope of the pile. So for each of those 43 inches you need to do an indepedant count along the line of each angle. You need to subtract the number of leaves from the inner arc of each slice of the pie from the outer most layer.

[Rock]

Just one more, more, more, more, more (not a typo) question Paul. Wouldn't that be subtract the number of leaves in the outer arc from the inner arc?

[Paul]

You know Rock I think you're right.  It's been a long day.

[Rock]

Well just let me speak for everybody at home and here at the station.  You are doing one heck of a job out there. You are giving us all a perspective on falling leaves we couldn't get anywhere else.   Reporters like you are what make this such a special place to work. Thanks again Paul.

Before we go there was a 200 car crash on the interstate, the mayor has announced he's resigning to join the Peace Corps, the Governor has broken off his affair with the stripper, and the price of milk just went up to ten dollars  a half gallon.  That's The News here at KJOY and You Know It. ( I actually did have to say that at the end of every newscast at a station with different call letters a long time ago)Be back at ten when Paul turns over a new leaf. You all Rock on, and I'll Rock Out.

It's not easy you know.