Toilet Training

Flirtatious: "You know I can't hear you when the waters running!"

Real Mood: Cantankerous (not really. I just like to say cantankerous)

Prediction: John Crapper will roll over in his grave if he ever finds out what we've done to his device.

 

I am being harrassed by my big sister, Theda. I've just finished humilitating myself by going into detail about the breaking of my toe. Well, to bring you up to date, I broke my toe trying to retrieve a pipe wrench to fix our toilet.  Well Theda reads my soul searching digital confession,  and  now she wants to know what happened to the toilet. She could care less about my toe.

Well, for the record, ( but not necessarily the truth) the toilet is fixed. We stopped the external flow, but not before destroying a piece of tubing and a plastic nut that you're only supposed to hand tighten. What's one little extra turn with a pipe wrench, huh? I'm pretty sure the people at Lowes were snickering as we stopped in on several occassions in a rather short period of time.

Points for Peggy. It was not leaking where I thought it was leaking. It was probably leaking where Peggy thought it was leaking.  I say probably because every once in a while we sense there is some unaccounted for moisture on the floor. I operate on the old plumbing theory that if you just leave a small leak alone it will seal itself with rust, eventually.

You'd think I'd want to get as far away ,and as fast as I could,  from anything having to do with toilets? Yeah, but I can not resist this editorial opportunity to comment on the archetectual design of the modern water closet in master bedrooms.

Why are we going to such great lengths to isolate the commode? Aren't we usually in the bathroom alone?  If not, aren't we more typically in the shower or tub. I've never heard of a toilet tryst. ( If I'm wrong about this, please be kind and don't try to educate me.)

Is there an adult on the planet who believes there are odorless humans? Isn't it worse when the odor can't disperse? Why would we want to enclose ourselves in these tiny little rooms where we might dislocate a shoulder flushing our unmentionables down the porcelain convenience?  ( would I get sympathy with a shoulder seperation sling?)

Tear down the walls I say. Free the water closet. Okay, I'm done. Can we go on to something else, Theda?