Watch How you Deduct Yourself!

Flirtatious: "So now if you actually got a refund? Wouldn't you like to buy something nice for ME?"

Real Mood: Luxuriant

Prediction:  We still won't be able to summer in Bora Bora.

We went to our tax guy today.  It's a little early for us.  We were concerned. We had some things we didn't understand.  That usually means life on saltines and peanut butter for six months.

When we left our tax guys office...with unfinished returns?

"Paul, we're going to get nailed."

"Yeah, I've got that same feeling. Who'd we tick off anyway."

Sure enough, several hours of number crunching and he calls.

"Well, you PAY ME this much, so that I can tell you to PAY the Feds, THIS MUCH! But you will get a little "itty bitty check" from the state?"

"Alas and Alack! Woe is us? Why? Why? Why?"

I'm glad Peggy was on the phone. Would it be sexist to say that WOMEN, in general, are quicker to express their pain and suffering?

I can only tell you it works. Despite all our efforts at emancipation?  MEN, in general, COWER at the sight of a woman in distress.

I remember being stuck in Manhattan, Kansas with a thrown rod. It went right through the engine block. It was a  Friday night. My wife at the time, and myself, and the volkswagen squareback,  had just been towed a hundred miles to the dealer.

Well it turns out there's a big convention in town? There are NO hotel rooms. And the dealer? 

"Sorry sir, we're shuting down for the night.  We won't be able to even look at your car until Monday."

"But there are no hotel rooms?"

"You're welcome to sleep in your sleeping bags by the railroad tracks behind the garage? That's the best I can offer right now."

Instinctively I walk back to the car and tell my companion, "looks like we're going to be sleeping on that ichy dry grass back there for at least three nights. And it's right next to an active rail line. "

I might have thrown in a few foot stomps and "HARUMPHS" to spice it up a little bit.

So come on men! What happens next?

"LIKE HECK, WE ARE!"

She crys! She yells! She curses mildly! She turns this into a MIDDLE AMERICAN TRAGEDY of monumental proportions.

Well, you know all those mechanics have significant others. They've been there.

"Well calm down, maam. I'll go talk to my managers and see what we can do."

We did have to spend one night by the railroad track? (it was a mild summer night)  But they brought three mechanics in on O.T. Saturday. We were out of Manhattan by noon.

So anyway when we got the tax guy call tonight?  Peggy wasn't the least bit shy about reacting to what she was hearing.  And let's face it. This guy has a wife. We know that because he talked about her when he was fiddling with his calculator.

He didn't say anything out loud, but I swear I could feel his tension and I didn't even have the receiver?

I knew our guy was going to re-check his numbers. And sure enough? He calls back.

"Good News. I forgot to check a box, and now you can PAY me to  tell you....ready?"

"Uh, huh?"

"You're getting THIS much BACK from the Feds and THIS much BACK from the State."

Yee! Hah! Practical Sexism rides again!

"And listen to this. That means one less form, so NOW you ONLY have to pay me THIS much!"

It's enough to make a grown man cry. But, hey, why? I got a partner who can handle that a lot better than I can. 

At least in time of AUTO CRISES, or IRS entanglements? Viva le difference!!!

"Now Paul, here's HOW we're going to SPEND that money!"

Hmmm!

I THINK I'VE CONVINCED HER TO CARVE OUT ONE  PERCENT OF THE REFUND FOR REFRESHMENTS AT THE BIG ANNIVERSARY PARTY. YOU REMEMBER THE END OF APRIL CELEBRATION OF THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings? I'M GOING TO KEEP WORKING ON HER. BUT IT COULD BE A CASE OF BYOL. (bring your own lemondade) WE'LL STILL HAVE FUN.

good luck with your tax guy