Grounded

I ought to be doing some planning for class right now.  So?  Let's pretend there are some object lessons with this entry.

1.  You may not be able to teach an 'OL dog NEW tricks.  But by golly you can re-aquaint IT with some 'OL TRICKS.

What?

Well I'm out doing my health peddle? As I'm coming around a curve on the bike path? I see this guy coming at me, taking the curve, sitting up, with no grip on the handle bars! Man, did that take me back. I think I can even pinpoint my age at 8. (give or take 2 or 3) It was so long ago I don't even think it was a cliche yet.  But you know what I said?

 

[SEE PICTURE 1]

"Look, Ma! No hands!"

Well once again I'm out on the bike path?  It has just rained and I'm out here all alone.  Why not?  Let's give it a try.  What a thrill. I not only got up there, but stayed there for a MARKED mile.  I even made some wide arcing turns just leaning one way or the other. 

2. Protein is everywhere.

Peggy and I have been eating a lot of fruits and veggies lately. That's good, but when you're getting a lot of exercise?  You need protein. 

So here's a cycling object lesson.  If you ride along a bike path, near a creek, in the summer, when there has been a lot of moisture? You will run into SWARMS OF INSECTS.  Well anybody can say SWARMS OF INSECTS. But let's expand our vocabulary.  Let's go to Paul's Cyclithaurus and look for some different ways to say SWARMS OF INSECTS.

[SEE PICTURE 2]

How is this one? "MOUTHFUL OF GNATS." 

I like this one. "GOBS OF GRIMY GROSS GRIST."

Let's not overwork this. Bottom line?  On the protein issue?  I'M GOOD FOR WHILE!

3. Guidelines are better than rules.

I often preach against being too cautious in life. I don't believe we need to wear helmets to take showers or shop. I resent insurance companies, attorneys and HMOs making the rules we live by. I'm not going to back off that. But I think I've already made it clear I've given in on the bike helmet. Well it comes into play again. I mention the sitting up right after it rains?  Well I'm also out there WHEN it's raining.  I have to tell you that is fun.  It's cool. It's envigorating. It can encourage you to leave your common sense at home?

[SEE PICTURE 3]

I pull my camera out of my backpack.  I set it up under a shelter and aim it towards the bike path.  I set the timer. I push the shutter.  I race to get in frame, turn around, and head toward the camera.  The flash goes off, the bike goes right, and down hill? I go left and up hill!

  3.a Boo Boos no longer heal in a week.

 

4. Don't be an idiot.

So it's raining today?  Despite my lack of good sense on the picture taking, I still think riding in the rain is COOL, real and virtual. But here is what is not COOL about riding in the rain in Colorado. This state ties Florida with the greatest number of lightning strikes every year. I've covered enough deadly lightning strike stories to know better.

But anyway, I'm about half way through my ride and Beethoven's Fifth comes blaring out of my "fanny pack."  It's Peggy calling.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Nah. I'm doing fine."

"PAUL. THERE IS THUNDER AND LIGHTNING OUT THERE!"

"OH!  I'm way out in the middle of nowhere.  I'll just put the pedal to the spoke and get home as fast as I can."

(that leads to a new experience.  Not only can I talk on the cell phone while I'm doing 15 mph?  I'm eating a plum at the same time. I may be good on the protein, but now I need a sugar rush.)

Well, sure enough there is thunder to the right of me, lightning to the left.  It's got my attention and I'm cranking out some revolutions.  I start to ease up a little bit when I get into my own neighborhood. I'm less than a mile from home.  But?

I am riding on the bike path behind a house where a GARAGE BAND IS WORKING OUT?

Just as I get close?  The drummer does a SHORT snare drum roll, a MASSIVE kick on the base drum, and then an EAR SPLITTING CRASH of his CYMBALSSSSSSSS.

[SEE PICTURE 4]

REMEMBER HOW I'D RE-LEARNED HOW TO SIT UP STRAIGHT ON THE BIKE WITH NO HANDS.  BOY I'M GLAD I HAD THAT HELMET ON.

I don't know. Are you safely grounded on a bicycle when lightning strikes? You know like being in a car? Just askin'?

If that drummer doesn't make it in the music world?  He still has a great future in sound affects.