Iron Knee

CAPTION: "Let's see if I can't straighten this out for you.....you see...."

I've got another little "FACTION" (part fact, part fiction) short story headed this way. But I think I want to pause and reflect on a few TODAY things. If you've stopped by much? I'm sure you can tell I go out of my way seeking irony. It really is everywhere if that's your interest. Today?

I'm making a left turn at a signalled intersection? The car behind (I'll not comment on the fact the driver is a woman) sees the need to follow me through the turn two inches from my rear bumper. And then once through the turn? She yanks the wheel to put her in the lane to the right of me. Then it is "Pedal To The Metal." The second she clears me by a inch? She yanks that wheel back to the left, and lines up in front of me. I'm guessing she sees my grimace in her rear view mirror because her next move? She slows down to a snails pace.

"Well so what Paul. Where's the irony?"

The lady is driving a VOLKSWAGEN. Now I know they've re-engineered and redesigned the little devils. But just some advice to you young folks.  If you don't want to be the subject of great hilarity and AARP ridicule? If you are going to be an agressive driver? Don't do it in a VOLKSWAGEN. A MiniCooper maybe,  but NOT  a VOLKSWAGEN.

So Peggy has been a little behind me on reading all the Janet Evanovich, Stephanie Plum books. But she is catching up and she has just finished # 9? Well I'd already borrowed, read, and returned #10. 

"Well then why don't we just order one on ebay?," I suggest.

"You have no idea where that book has been. We're going to the book store!"

We can't find it in the bargain rack at Barnes and Noble so we head for the mystery section. At least its in paperback.

So we head up to the cashier line and we are met by this very young, high energy, "happy go lucky," not a worry in her head CLERK. We clearly do not share her LUCK or SENSE OF HUMOR. As she is tinkering with the checkout technology she begins this wonderfully cheery soliloquy.

"Oh, I just love these Stephanie Plum books. I've been reading them out of order, and just finished this one. It's the one where you really start liking Ranger more than Morelli, and she spends all this time at Ranger's place...which is really cool, blah, blah, blah, blah."

We are both so shocked we are speechless. We just walk unanimously dumbfounded to the car. What just happened here? And I'm privately thinking? (In fact if she reads this it will be the first Peggy will know of these thoughts.) 

"You worry about where a book has been if you order it on ebay? Mighten you also worry about where a book has been if you pull it off the shelf at Barnes and Noble?"

I don't know about your definition of irony? Well just let me say, this is mine.

In addition to irony, it IS our GOOD luck that, at our ages? We'll forget all about it by tommorrow.

"Honey I thought we didn't have number 10?"

"Yeah, me too!"

"Ah, the World works in mysterious ways."

"Is that a quote from Morelli or Ranger?"

"A stitch in time saves nine?"

"What does that mean?"

"Right!"