Just Decky

CAPTION: "You know I was going to build a deck once, but I kept looking at all these bags of cement I was going to use for the four by four posts? And I kept looking at them, and looking at them......" 

 

    Here's something to ponder. I don't know why I remember this. But more than 30 years ago I was sitting around being philosophical with my friend Duane Laursen. 

       Duane is a retired science teacher. I don't even know what the topic was that illicited this lesson from Duane. But I do know he introduced me to what someone calls the "goal gradient."

       It is that statistical phenomenon that demonstrates the closer you get to your goal? Well, the closer you get to your goal the more dangerous getting there gets.

       Its fairly common knowledge, for instance, that far more car accidents happen close to our destinations than at the beginning of the trek.

       Well goal gradient just remotely has something to do with: 

  

 

 

          ALL HANDS ON DECK

                                     Part Eleven

 

         You’ll remember I told you about that shaky corner over there? It, of course, sits right above the ninth hole. It would likely be almost as sturdy as the rest of the deck? But, well you see that post doesn’t have any cement in there to hold it in place. Why? Well because we used up its allotment to fill up the original ninth hole. You can do the math.

         Now of course I could have called my Deck Analyst to ask for another bag of cement. But for three reasons I didn’t do that.

Reason number one?

It’s the weekend and my Deck Analyst doesn’t stay open weekends. Reason number two? Since it’s the weekend, the boys and I can get most of the deck built these two days.

 Reason number three? My Deck Analyst and his son would spread the word of our folly throughout Deckdom. Our reputations would be shot. So we just moved on.

         She appears!

         “How’s it goin’?,” says she with a well rested smile

         I was right. She doesn’t remember a thing.

         “We got all the posts in,” the boys proudly proclaim.

         “The rest is easy,” I elaborate.

         “Will you all be ready for some breakfast in about a half hour,” she says cheerily.

         “You bet!,” we respond with equal cheer.

         The All American Family story, eh?

         “Nite John Boy!”

 

      Finishing a deck can be so rewarding. Each piece of lumber put into place points towards progress. First the beams, then the joists, and then the deck cover itself, rising to form an escape from the reality of an urban existence.

         All the hassle seems worth it now. Oh, there are some minor tics in the final stage. Like what?

         My wife at one point demands we pull up all the deck planks and pull them closer together.

         “People are going to trip, fall and break their necks the way you’ve got them spaced.”

         We lift her up on the structure daring her to try and trip. She backs off with an , “Okay then!.”

         Oh, and you remember the three reasons I gave you why number nine is not cement secured? Well I don’t think I can live with myself without telling you reason number FOUR. In our haste to complete the project? We just forgot.

         Well you’ve come this far. You will not want to miss the exciting conclusion of “All Decks on Hand.”

         That’s tomorrow. I promise!