The Last of the Story

I feel like "CHICKEN LITTLE." [PEGGY SAYS I AM] My sky is NOT falling and I am overwhelmed with guilt that I've misled anyone into thinking it was. 

Just for the record I played a hour's worth of tennis today, WITH medical sanction. I haven't shoveled any snow, but only because my neighbors and Peggy won't let me.  (If I could overcome the guilt, it's a NICE side benefit of calling 911.)

I just wanted to walk you all through some of the maze of the poking and probing that goes on in a hospital once you are committed to the process.   I think a couple of times I've mentioned I still believe I did the right thing calling 911. Let me get that aired and maybe it will get me slightly off the hot seat.

If you are my age? (64) And you are having chest pains? Call 911. To tell you the truth the co-pay is horrific that way.  But the end result is worth it! If you are having a heart attack, they are probably going to be able to fix you.

If not, as was true in my case, it is worth the price of admission to finally hear after all those tests....

1. "Your lungs look great!"  (I used to smoke)

2. "Your EKG is perfect."

3. "Boy, you were really able to get your heart rate up there on the treadmill. You sure you aren't short of breath?" (I wasn't.)

4. Not all went well. They shot me full of some fluid and took pictures of my heart with some machine similar to an MRI.  When it first came back?

" Paul, that was inconclusive. We are going to have to flip you over and do it again." 

(Now THAT got my heart rate up as much as the treadmill did.)

Well it turns out my diaphragm has an odd shape and covers up a small portion of my heart, funny shaped diaphragm, but as it turns out? Good healthy heart....so now I know I've got to be examined from the rear. (No double entendre intended.)

Now there are clearly parts of the process I'd have upped my co pay to get around.  For one...they put this Nitroglycerine patch on my chest, up high? Any of you that have heart issues know the consequences of that. It sends blood rushing to the affected area like opening a fire hose. Different people react to that differently.  Me? I get a migraine headache (my first I now know for sure), I turn beet red, I get so nauseas that I have to push away a smoked salmon dinner, and I wear out my sweat glands and get dehydrated. 

But let me tell you something.  I'd go through it all again to hear what one of those doctors uttered:

"You may get another 50 years out of that ticker."

There is just one other piece of this story that all my relatives know is coming?  Why would I be so upbeat about this?  I come from a family that fights heart disease a lot.  And while this end result has me FEELING GOOD!  I'm also "knocking on wood!"

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LAAAST OF THE STORY!