Yeah, I know what I said. No Helmet. Well, here's the deal. I'm on a bike path? I'm going down a steep grade at a pretty good clip? I know I have to break. Since I know I'm going to have to go right back up again? I know I need to shift gears quick, too. Then I notice I'm also going to have to make a 90 degree turn at the bottom and cross a small stream. Well, it is just too much for this aging brain to sort out. The bike goes one way and I go the other. Somehow I do land on my feet. But I figure I was lucky. So I got the helmet.
Yeah those are cycling shorts. Look, while I was getting the helmet the guy says we got a sale on shorts? I'm thinking about the padding? I look over at Peggy?
"As long as you wear a long shirt on the outside, I think you'll be okay."
So, I dress the part? Got to play the part! Hang on, we're going for a ride:
"Down hill...drainage....woman walks dog....kid jumps dirt hill on bike...traffic...light....open space...creek...view of backyards (naughty, naughty)...highway...noise....junk pile....tunnel just for bikes....water break....big long down hill run...backside of stores....Nordstrum Rack....note to dumpster dive....Costco...note not to dumpster dive.....sweaty truck drivers unloading...employees smoking behind semi.....Crispy Creme....better not stop...better not come back this way.....surprise wetland....huge magpies...near radio and microwave towers...MUTATIONS....maybe..."ON YOUR LEFT!".....must pay attention....prarie dogs two feet away...one pair mating...(that's a first)...on to canal...no water in it....into state park...dog training area....leashless dog area...wonder how that works out...porta potty, water fountain...whew...dam....reverse...river greenway....big houses...hovels...bike paths no descrimination....private golf club: NO TRESSPASSING....wooden bridge....geese and ducks....OH, GOD HELP US. THERE IS A TRAFFIC CIRCLE IN THE BIKE PATH....public golf course....no kidding...a sign that says: Cyclists Welcome. Stop in and Get Some Water......Huge brick factory....power plant....(bigger than I remembered)....rafters.....two HUGE CORMORANTS...don't see any microwave towers....homeless man in cardboard tent under bridge...light rain....Children's Museum...rain heavier now...head wind...feels like gale force..Aquarium..shelter...eat my orange...listen to hundreds of different sounds at amusement park...back in saddle...confluence with creek...head up creek...up hillhome...that says....fatiqued...rain lets up....backside of shopping center....drinking cold beer right in front of me....lightning, thunder....don't get under tree....instead...I'm riding in the storm under a long stretch of power lines....rain lets....up...get lost in golf course...can't find trail to reservoir...find trail to reservoir....spikey pedals...have my calf bleeding...woman behind me with her kids....offers me her lone bandaid....I'll tough it....into reservoir and state park....map makes no sense....I go by seat of pants...herd of mule deer...just feet away....fawn gets confused and starts following me......really pouring...now...I'm soaked...don't remember where porta potties are....find bike path...it ends..and must ride on sidewalk...(Is that legal)....tresspass through development to get back on bike path...very fatiqued...older woman on power walk....passes me up......get close to hill up to rec...center...break down and walk bike up hill....see live truck at rec center from FOX...station...think I'll go see if I know anybody....it has its mast down...and runs away like I'm to be avoided at all costs....back on bike...cross busy intersection...get on final path...less than a mile now...home....no need to say....HI or ON YOUR LEFT....I can't pass tortoise...at this pace...last two blocks up hill....get off and walk bike up first block....back on bike for last block to save face...find garage door opener....get in house....COLLAPSE...YOU JUST COMPLETED AN 8 HOUR 60 MILE BIKE RIDE THE EASY WAY.
Even though I now look the part? Not a single invitation to a Cyclist's Picnic.
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