Room Rates

Flirtatious: "Can I interest you in a breath mint?"

Real Mood: Expansive

Prediction: Brer Rabbit will see his shadow and run back into the garden for another snack.

 

FOR THE RECORD: The picture is staged!

I teach courses that I believe cut through the ropes of most competing interests in our society. I greet students of all socio-economic makeup. I'm in class with a gorgeous rainbow mix of cultures and races.  I'm sitting in between students seperated by decades of life experience. So pity me as I attempt to have them reach a consensus on a very pressing issue.

"What issue is that Paul?"

So my "Intro to Radio and TV" class is assigned to a classroom designed for Lilliputians.  I ask through channels (e-mail) for an upgrade to a room that will at least house Hobbits. When there is no quick response I drop by the department office and querrie, "Is there still a chance of getting a little larger room for this Intro Class?"

"Oh, this is how we're doing it this year Paul.  You go around and see if you can find an empty room, and then come back here.  Then we check on the computer to see if anyone is scheduled to be in there.  If not? It's yours!"

I have to tell you I love the concept. We'll sort out our needs with face to face compromise.  We'll bypass the bureaucracy. But there is at least one flaw in the plan.  You're going to be looking for an empty classroom that's empty the same time the class you're in is meeting?  Hmm!

"Class. I've got it.  You'll pick."

So I sent out scouting parties to every classroom building on campus.

"Now we'll need a room bigger than this one.  We'll need all the electronic toys we've got here. We'll need enough room up front for guest speakers to roam around when they get nervous.  Beyond that, competing room amenities will be your choice."

"We get to pick?"

"Yeah, but only after you come back here, and we work out a consensus and come up with a priority list of four rooms."

"Yes, sir!"

Off they fly as I sit back and put my feet up on a thimble.

Before I can even work in a nap they start arriving.

"We found a great one.  Holds a hundred!"

"Let's see. There's 25 of us......I don't know."

"Hey we got one that holds 50. It's got everything we need. Look I took pictures onmy cellphone! "

"Okay....?

"We found a room with TWO, we're not kidding, doors."

"uh, huh......."

"Would a lecture hall be too big?"

"Well I kind of think....so."

"How we gonna pick?"

"One person from each of your scouting parties will make a sales pitch for your choice.  When we have all the options on the table we'll vote.  Then I'll take our priority list to the office and see what we can get."

What fun spirited debate ensues. Our priority list is finally settled with a round of "rock, paper, scissors."  And the loser of that contest offers to bake cookies if we'll vote for her room anyway.

I have to be honest. I do put in my two cents.  I want the room that's in the only building on campus that still uses paper towels in the "John." There seems to be some concurrence with that value, but larger issues reign.

And that's the whole reason I'm doing this entry.  I am blown away at what's important. It's understandable that they want comfortable chairs, and tables instead of desks. These issues pop up.  But they do not lead the pack.

"The lighting in 214 is really bright."  Predictable!

"It's close to vending machines."  Makes sense.

But you know what tops the cake, what drives students wild with anticipation?

 Really two issues stand out in the race for room.

"Phys. Ed. 234 smells great!"

"Really?"

"So does West Classroom 119 and guess what it has?"

"What could beat a good smell?"

"Brace yourselves.  West 119 has....a MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER!"

"You gotta be kidding? Really?"

"No _______!  A manual pencil sharpener."

So I sprint to the office with my priority list.  I beg for instant room insertion on the computer. 

"Okay, option number one.  Sorry, it says someone is in there."

"Shoot,  no Manual Pencil Sharpener. Let's go with two then."

"Sorry, don't know where they were today, but somebody is in there."

"Dang.  There goes the great smell."

"Three?"

"Uh, uh!  Four looks good!"

"Okay, .... we'll.... take....four...in....the....South....Class....Room."

"Class, I'm so sorry.  This should have had a better ending.  I applaud your initiative and creative analysis. At least we know we'll be scratching our own chins?"

"Oh, we can live with it.  Did we tell you it has an old standing lamp with soft light in the corner?"

"You gotta be kiddin'? Really? Why didn't you say that in the first place?"