"Valentine's day. Bah, Humbug!"

Flirtatious: "Won't you be my torrid lover?"

Real Mood: Toasty

Prediction: Diamond sales will see some increased activity Monday. (Mark this day. I think this might be my first foray into economic issues predictions.)   

This BLOG posting is rated 'G'. It has lots of 'Good' stuff in it, 'Generally' speaking.

According to The History Channel,  Valentine may have been a  third century Catholic Priest.  Legend says a Valentine contemporary, Roman Emperor, Claudius II, made a "mind blowing" discovery. "Old Claud," let's call him, notices SINGLE soldiers tend to hold their spears a little straighter than married soldiers. So an edict follows:

"By the absolute power invested in me, by me, Old Claud, I say LOVE is for wimps.  Therefore, no Single Male of  'Go to Battle Willing to Die' age, may be married."

So, the legend says, Valentine snuck around behind Old Claud's back helping soldiers, and would-be soldiers, get hitched.

Ultimately, the story goes, Valentine gets revealed, and Old Claud dispatches the priest to be with his maker.

It's clear Old Claud hadn't heard of the modern day solution to all those marriages?  Divorce? That might have kept Valentine out of the Martyr Catalog. It may have also elevated the morale of at least some of the Claudian troops.

But hey, it's just legend, and only one version of the legend.

What follows is not legend. I was there.

Whilst teaching one Valentine's Day eve,  I have a fleeting thought jump from my cortex to my cerebrum.

"I wonder if there is anyone of college age, and up, who hasn't received a Valentine's Day card?"

So I asked, "Is there anyone in this room who has never received a Valentine's Day card?"

My suspicion was I would come up empty, and for a minute it looked as if suspicion would become reality.

But  then slowly the right hands of two young women crept from their waists to full extension above their heads.  My jaw dropped.

These were two attractive young women.  They had distinctively different personalities, yet both very charming in their fashion.

There were clearly some historical religious and intellectual morality issues at play. They had clearly not been allowed or encouraged to accept Valentine's Day cards.

Both women put up weak fronts that it didn't bother them.

"Who needs a Valentine's Day Card, anyway."  "It's just a pagan holiday."

Normally I'd have just kept my nose out of said personal issues.  But my eyes were starting to well up. I was sure these ladies were lying. My heart was breaking for them. And so I acted.

On Valentine's Day I presented both of them with very large Valentine's Day's Cards in front of the whole class. I'll never forget what followed.

I've never seen such huge warm smiles appear out of nowhere. I don't always do the right thing, but this time I think I lucked out. These weren't even coy "Ah Shucks" smiles.  These were glorious emanations.  These were transformations. These were "dream come true" smiles. There was enough warmth in that room that day I could have safely walked home in a blizzard. 

I bring all this up because "time's a wastin." Just two more days for you to go out and find somebody to "Hug and Hand a Heart To." If you can find somebody whose never gotten one before? Hold on to your heart strings!

Well enough of this mushy stuff. Tommorrow we're going to talk about the "Bird and the Bees."

I know I said I was going to up the Reader Rating from PG13 to NC17?  I've been giving that some more thought. Just to be safe I'm going to give it an 'R' RATING, TONS of NUDITY, and MILD VIOLENCE. And, oh, by the way? " JUST 48 DAYS TO GO TO THE ANNIVERSARY OF PAUL'S MODEST MUSINGS. DON'T BE THE ONLY ONE ON YOUR BLOCK TO MISS IT. "