Flirtatious: "Mind if I drink my coffee while we kiss?"
Real Mood: Multi-pronged
Prediction: Stories will be done this next week on "Putting Christ back in Christmas"; Gifts being stolen from Mall parking lots; Feeding the Homeless; The constitutionality of Manger scenes on public sites; "Kwanza"; "Hanukkah"; Jews filling in for Christians at the office; A family burnt out of it's home and all it's presents destroyed; Tracking Santa Claus from the North Pole; Cutting your own Christmas tree; Christmas light safety. And a whole bunch more.
SONICARE can send me a check if it likes, but I am giving them this publicity free of charge or obligation. I do believe, however, that the BLOGs of the World are going to eventually suck up a lot of the "Ad Revenue Pie" with casual product mentions. I mean the movies get a lot of wampum just for showing the PEPSI machine. (No checks PEPSI. I'm not a cola man and couldn't in good conscience endorse your product.)
But I'm off message here, which I hope, oddly will become the point here this evening.
We didn't call it multi-tasking at the time, but we used to marvel at those amongst us who could effectively do two things at once. Patting one's head while rubbing one's tummy is just one example. Today two things are nothing. We've been bamboozled into believeing we can concentrate on any number of tasks at one time.
In my Broadcast Journalism Television class I challenge the students to make sense of what they are hearing or seeing on any one of the Cable News Channels. In case you've never given this a shot, see if you can watch everything on the screen for ten minutes, while listening to everything that is being said in that same time period. Then test yourself. What did you learn? In case you've never thought much about it, here is what you are being asked to absorb. In addition to the anchor, the reporter and any video they are referring to, you are being asked to watch a CRAWL. That's a ticker tape like message running along the bottom of the screen. It typically is telling an entirely different story than the anchor or reporter.
There should be no doubt which media outlet you are getting your information from. That's thanks to a little identifying logo in one of the corners of the screen called a BUG.
Generally just above the bug there is something I don't really have a namefor. I'll have to ask. But it's a small character generating device that is alternately giving you STOCK MARKET NUMBERS and the TIME in at least two time ZONES.
Underneath the anchors or other faces appearing on the air you'll find the CG (chyron graphic) or FONT which visually identifies who you're watching and/or listening to.
Now above the anchor you'll often find a fancy sign that let's you know visually what the heck the anchor is talking about. That's called an OTS, or "over the shoulder" graphic.
Now if this is a really big story a huge BANNER sweeping across the screen may emerge announcing a THEME.
As far as I can tell the only reason networks (and local stations) are giving us all this information at once is because they CAN. The research is telling them the current human mind cannot absorb all this stuff at once. Attention efficiency suffers in every area up there. Our species may evolve to the point this makes sense, but we ain't there yet.
So what does that have to do with Sonicare? Well here is a toothbrush that pretty much takes over the business of getting the gunk out of all the little nooks and crannies of our mouths. So I'm thinking it's time to do a little multi-tasking.
Holding the brush in place with one hand, I employ the other to pick up my deodorant stick and apply it under the opposing arm. I then switch my tooth brush hand. I put the vibrating brush in an area my dentist says I've got a little too much plaque. Then I apply deodorant under the opposite arm at which time I discover I can actually bite down on the Sonicare holding it in place freeing up my other hand. With that hand I hold my aftershave bottle with the thumb and little finger. I use my index and middle finger to unscrew the top. Once off, while still brushing my teeth, I splatter on the aftershave. Mind you I'm still applying the deodorant to the underside of that alternate arm.
Then I look in the mirror and notice I've not yet parted my wet hair. So I put the aftershave bottle over into the hand holding the deodorant. That frees up the other hand to grab the comb. A few quick sweeps through my locks and by golly the deed is done.
Look how many things I could do at once which I used to have to do in sequence. Now that's multi-tasking.
"How do I look honey?"
"Are you kidding? You got a razor cut just below your lip. You got some white gunk caked on the side of you mouth. You got a whole glump of hair sticking up in the back. What's that stain on your shirt? Your shirt tail is half in and half out. Make up you mind if the collar is going to be up or down? You need to make a choice! Is there a reason you don't use all the belt loops in your pants? You're not going to work looking like that!"
"Oh Yeah, well I'll bet you can't hop on one leg, rub your belly, and pat your head at the same time. Well can you?"
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