Stow the Tank Tops

 

Flirtatious: "You know you look just as cute in that flannel shirt as you do in your tank top?"

Real Mood: Less congested

Prediction: Katie Couric will crash and burn if she takes that evening news gig. I'm sure it's all based on focus group data where they asked all the wrong questions. I'll be happy to be wrong.

"How Cold Is It?"

"It's so cold I'm puttng my head in the refrigerator to warm up."

A "group groan" would be appropriate. I just wanted to make one up, and that's the best I can do right now.

I exchanged e-mails with my graduate friend Sarah Williams. Sarah is anchoring and reporting in Fargo, make that Bismarck, North Dakota. I broke my own homework rule. I assumed Fargo without checking myself. While certainly a small community, we may be able to look towards Bismarck (and maybe Fargo too)  for a solution to the energy crisis.  Sarah tells me it's so cold there!" "How cold is it Sarah?" "Why it's so cold people just turn on their car engines and leave them running." OPEC is not the problem. It's Bismarck and maybe Fargo, too.

When the roads get icy, why is it that SUV drivers don't notice? Why is it they are the ones I see in a ditch on top of the Ford Focus they slid into?

I predicted last entry that meteorologists are going to start using "wind chill factors" in their reports.  It was a pretty easy prediction. Half the country is in a deep freeze right now. I don't really mind weather people using the "wind chill factor" in their reports.  I do mind when they try to explain it to me. I also have no interest in grasping metric conversions. True confessions time.  I got  "C"s in all my high school math classes, a "C" in chemistry and a "D+" in physics. (the teacher told me he gave me the plus 'cause he thought I had potential.)

Skipping ahead to freshman in college and an apptitude test. Results?  High interest and potential in complex math. Low interest and potential in word fluency. Hmmm?

I actually got a B in statistics when I was working on my  "teaching credential" in California.  So here I am, rookie teacher at Warren High School. I've just rushed to the teacher's lounge after giving my first exam. I carefully arrange the number scores out on a piece of paper, and then had an early onset of Paul'sHeimers. I lean to my left. In a tone I'm sure exposes  my anxiety I ask the man sitting nearest me, "Excuse me can you help me out? I'm trying to remember the formula for the co-efficient of reliability?"

There were a few seconds of stunned silence and then the entire lounge population broke into eardrum puncturing laughter. Rumor is they still laugh about it at social gatherings. It's nice to be remembered for something, I guess.

Anyway, some of you may want to know all that stuff. For me, just keep your old formulas and tell me how cold I'm going to feel today. I'll fill in the blanks with "word fluency."

I drove by that dorm under construction with  it's highway ramp view today. It's even more bizarre when you see all the snowy slop from the highway flying towards the pent house windows. My advice? Don't sign a lease, site (sight) unseen.

"It 's so cold I can't see out my dorm room window."