The Leaf Party

Yesterday, Peggy and I decided we'd rake the front yard, today. It's not a duty I will ever happily perform. It has nothing to do with any slothful male genes. Peggy thinks it is being a good neighbor, so I go along with it every year.





[Of course it comes with a compromise I'll get into later.]




It is not a happy duty for me because I just happen to like leaves, especially those who've fallen to earth forming rustling works of art.








Isn't it odd we run to the woods to get a glimpse of nature's pallet? But only AFTER we've raked the yard?

But anyway, I wasn't going to rake a bunch of leaves up without getting some pictures? So while I'm taking them? I espy the woman in the neighborhood we all suspect is an evil member of the HOA gestapo. She is staring at me with such ferocity I can feel her virtual daggers pierce my thick hide.

"So what's this all about?," I'm thinking.




The wonderful thing about blogging, as opposed to journalisticating, is you can openly speculate. So here is what I'm thinking. Either she sees some interloper moving in on her "rat on the neighbors" role. Or, she recognizes me, and by getting ready to rake, I am blowing the complaint she plans to file on Monday.


Well the leaves are all raked now, but I've made a decision.




I am going to run for political office in 2012. I am going to run on the "Leaf" party ticket. Our driving slogan will be "LEAF" us alone.



I know that is stealing some of the "Libertarian" thunder. But here is something you libertarians might want to think about before deciding to once again just be "also rans" in the political process.


Sure, we might seem to be a small , disorganized, single issue party. "But LOOK!" (That's clearly the new political cliche of the season, isn't it? And frankly I'll look when I damn well FEEL like LOOKING!)



We in the LEAF party have strength in numbers.

A few years ago? I did a leaf count, using a formula I used estimating crowds while a working ( I got paid) journalist. I discovered, to my amazement, that in the front yard alone, there were close to 20 th0usand leaves lying in piles on the lawn. Well, I'll just leave it to you to do the math.

The Leaf party will have to be taken seriously. So you Libertarians might want to think about throwing in with us. With numbers like these, the rest of the country is going to have to take us seriously.

THE COMPROMISE?

I told Peggy I'd rake up my constituents one more time, but only if she agreed to leave the leaves left in nature's above ground cleft (in the evergreens and bushes) alone.

[I DON'T THINK THE HOA COVENANT COMMITTEE COVERS ABOVE GROUND LEAVES YET. BUT IF THEY EVER DO, I'M READY!]

So let me LEAVE you with this. LEAF through this brief MAN/WOMAN/IFESTO. Give it some thought. Don't be LEFT out. In LIEF of Libertarians, the LEAF Party may be just what you're looking for.

Say, I've already voted. Can I get some alternative programming on the TV and the internet? ( I'm even tired of Obama Girl) And may I just temporarily put a seal on my mailbox? Can I get one of those devices that sets off a siren in my phone's mouthpiece when it senses political flim flam is about to be generated?

Stick with the LEAF party, and when I'm elected head LEAF, we'll turn those requests into the LEAF LAW OF THE LAND!

Get out there and turn over a new _____? Fill in the blank.