Funny Fall, "ha-ha"

In this part of the World you know WHEN fall arrives. It comes in a colorful way here in Colorado. That's our Marshall's Ash up there. If we don't get a nasty storm it will look like that for a couple of weeks before we have to rake all those leaves up.

This Fall adds some interesting characteristics as we suffer through this economic whirlwind.

Used to be this time of year some burly guy comes banging on our front door telling me it's time to AERATE and fertilize my yard. He has just got two or three little red markers in his hand to mark your sprinkler heads so his 'guys' won't destroy them with their monster machine.

"We're here doing all you're neighbor's yards. You'd better get on board before I run out of these markers. Aeration and fertilize for just 60 bucks."

About five years ago...this burly guy is banging on our door like we are about to be invaded by a bounty hunter. The fact that Peggy is sick at the time sort of gets my ire up? By the time I get to the door he's moved on to the next house...and I run after him, get in his face, use language most of you didn't know I knew. He finds some vocabulary of his own, and we do a two minute eye contact stare down.

By then quite a few neighbors have opened their curtains to see "what the heck" is going on. I kind of toss out a vain threat of what I'd do if he ever came back to my house. (Vain as it may have been, he has never been back.....until...)

This Fall? Tight economy? Burly aerator comes to the door. Both of his hands are FULL of those little flags, and there are not any of them sticking out of sprinkler heads on our block. Clearly tight budgets put aeration on the budget back burner.

And the man is reborn! Gentle ring from the door bell, and light tap on the surface of the front door.

"Good afternoon sir. We are in the neighborhood with our aeration machines. We'd love to aerate your lawn for you. We are running a special this season, aeration and fertilizer, twenty bucks?"

"Nah, still too much. Twenty bucks is a loaf of bread, two half gallons of soy milk, a loaf of whole grain bread, and a pound of butter substitute."

"I understand sir. Maybe next fall?"

"Yeah, maybe."

When it hits home, it really hits home. But this fall aeration is going to have to take a back seat.

So I hear the doorbell. Peggy is asleep and not feeling well. You already know how touchy I can be about that issue. So I race to the front door ready to lay into some aggressive sales person. You don't always get what you expect.

Facing me is this incredibly built and coiffed woman. She is dressed all in black. And I'm pretty sure I saw her on the cover of Vogue at the grocery store.

"Good afternoon sir. I'm "blah-blah" and I'm representing "blah-blah" automotive. Have you heard of us?"

"Uh-huh," which I'd have said even if I hadn't heard of them.

"Well tell me sir, what would you be willing to pay for a fall oil change, a new filter, rotation of all your tires, and a car wash?"

"I have no idea."

"Well I have a coupon here that will get you all those services for just seventy nine dollars."

Ah, the new economic reality sets in.

"Whoa, I don't have that kind of money."

Listen to this one!

"Well what kind of money do you have? I mean would you pay thirty dollars for all those services."

"Tempting!"

"I'm authorized to go that low, honest!"

"No, I'm sorry. That is about the size of my 401-k right now. Thanks anyway."

But certainly other neighbors would take advantage of this fall bargain. I fake a trip to the mail box to see how she is doing. She is already at the end of the block meaning there is no waiting for an oil change at "blah-blah" automotive today.

You know what would really be sad for the economy and HER? What if she really IS that model I saw on the cover of VOGUE?

Just a thought.