Bladder Matter

DEER ME!

Well I saw the total eclipse of the Earth's Moon tonight. (Peggy is retraining me to be more specific. Had I said, "I saw the eclipse of the moon"? Peggy would likely retort, "whose moon?"

Anyway when you say, " I saw the total eclipse of the moon?" If it really were TOTAL? Wouldn't you just see NOTHING? Just asking.

Since AOL brought back their mood list, ocassionally I use it. And, as you can see, it is a night for MISCHIEF. This site this evening is meant for relief of stress.  And that brings me to the point of my title choice.

You see Peggy and I ventured downtown to attend a book signing by Adam Schrager.

Adam is an outstanding reporter, anchor, blogger, podcaster, newspaper online reporter, magazine contributor, teacher and now historical biographer.  His book "The Principled Politician, The Ralph Carr Story" is going to raise some eyebrows. 

There are some pretty high fallutin' folks already touting Adam's work on the book jacket.  And let me tell you anybody that writes a Political History book that Bob Costa's likes, is okay by me (Remember my anatomy? You know, where my tongue is always trapped in my cheek).

Well let's get serious for just a second.  I really do have great admiration for Adam's skills and integrity.  Okay, that second is up.

I know of no man who is perfect, no matter how hard I try.  And I must tell you with great sorrow that reality also applies to Adam Schrager.

Adam gave an outstanding presentation to a room full of media, and political figures. But early on in his introduction he made an egregious judgement.  I believe Adam was quoting Ralph Carr, a one term governor in Colorado and the subject of Adam's text. I can only paraphrase that quote because I was already a little distracted.

You see, Adam found somewhere in his research that the witty Ralph Carr once told an audience, " I will not speak past the length of your bladder control." And then.......? Adam made the same promise to this crowd.

I truly enjoyed Adam's presentation. It was full of lively anecdotes, and some very nice figurative language.  The speech flowed nicely.  The messages were clear, the transitions were clean , and the substance was there. He came up off the page and really communicated with his audience.  But, "ah, here's the rub."

<FONTsize=4>I don't know Adam's age?  I know his maturity clearly exceeds any digital count? Based on his life experience on record? I'm going to guess oh, I'd say, 40?</FONTsize=4>

Listen I don't want to embarrass Adam so I'm just going to speak to him one on one.  Don't the rest of you read beyond here.

DEER ADAM,

 

 

 

"Adam, you may have noticed me and a few others walking out on your speech about half way through? Believe me it had nothing to do with the substance or the skill with which you presented it?  Had you been fully observant of this "walkout", you would have noted they were men with a lot less hair on their tete's than yourself."

"Okay I know you are a busy man, so let me get to the point. You see Adam there is the 40 year old bladder? It can likely hold steady through a 30 minute speech. But let's face it, many of your friends and colleagues, me included no longer have 40 year old bladders.  There are 50 year old bladders, 60 year old bladders, and as I looked around the room, I'm pretty sure you were talking to some bladders that were well over 70."

"Now I wouldn't want to be the one to edit your speech down to make allowances for us "Old" F....s, rather bladders. But I do have a humble suggestion if you run into this demographic out on promotional tours. SCHEDULE A POTTY BREAK right in the middle of it, and/or PIPE your brilliance into the WC." 

Okay the rest of you can come back now. Wouldn't it be interesting if Ralph Carr actually had some research commissioned on the average holding time of a bladder at any particular age? If he didn't somebody ought to.  I think that would really be useful information.