Good for the Gander

CAPTION: "HONK IF YOU LOVE PHOTO SHOP!"

I guess we know what AOL's Blog Target Market is if they offer "chillin'" as a mood option. It reminds me of the mistake I make every semester teaching  the course, " Introduction to Radio and TV and Digital Etal and Such" every semester.

"Now class (something I've never said before by the way) you will likely be surprised that Thomas Edison invented the Phonograph way back in 1878."

It typically takes about 20 minutes of me looking at blank expressions before it dawns on me.

"You people have NO idea what a phonograph is, do you?"

"No sir, we don't."

"Well it's kind of like your Ipod or your MP3 player? I think?"

"Oh!"

Every once in a while I get a dandy reminder that I'm no longer a "chillin' 20 or 30 something, or "Gen X,Y or Z." Technically I'm even two years beyond "Baby Boomer."

When I'm around people my age...one of the topics that frequently pops up is moving to a "Ranch Style Home."  Of course they have much fancier "branding" names than Ranch Style these days. You know, "Isn't it time you and your loved one considered a "Patio Home." But no matter what you call it,  the motivation for the conversation is the same.

At some point we are all supposed to say, "I'm gettng mighty tired of climbing those stairs. I'm going to get me one of them ranch style, or "patio" homes where everything is on one floor."

Until recently I don't think that's a quote you could attribute to me. But circumstances often redirect us, don't they. Explain myself?

Well about three weeks ago I am performing a daily chore applauded by Peggy.  Every morning I rise and descend the stairs, walk to the kitchen, pull out a coffee filter, grind up about 4 table spoons of Colombian (coffee), and run a quart of water through the Braun Coffee maker. 

While I'm waiting I typically pop some bread in the toaster, slather it with butter and a little jam as the final drip of water drops into the pot.

So (and it's usually dark) I carefully pour two full cups of java, balance the toast on the rims of said java, and carefully ascend the stairs. So I hope I've misled you.  No, I didn't drop the toast. I didn't spill a drop of Colombian.  I don't think I even woke Peggy up when I set her share down on her night stand.  No, up to this point, I'm still pleased as punch I live in a house that forces me to at least walk a flight of stairs twice a day.

So why am I starting to think, "hmmmm...maybe....on one of those ranch styles......?"

Well one cup of coffee doesn't always get my heart a pumpin'. So I drain cup number one, pick up Peggy's cooled off portion...and head back to the kitchen where I'll get me a new cup, and warm her's up.

Well, I didn't make it.

On the very first step there was no friction between my foot and the smooth carpet below it. I flew up into the air like Wily Coyote on a bad day. And what followed is what I often tell my students WE CALL IN THE BUSINESS...a TV MOMENT. I bounced step by step all the way to the bottom.  FORTUNATELY, on MY BOTTOM (which has been enhanced lately through the ingestion of a whole bunch of french pastry.)

Pure journalist I am, all I can think of all the way down is, "WHOA I wish I had a camera."

You know, I didn't break anything physiologically, but what followed broke my youthful spirit a bit.

I could see and feel the swelling, but it was bearable. I wasn't thinking ranch style at that point.

Now it was several days before the swelling went down, still some soreness but I'm walkin', I'm still movin' up and down those stairs. But just when I think I'm close to being healed?

The whole inside of the arm I used for balance on my way down? It turns to Lavender Blue, Lavender Green...and it hurts like @&^&%$.

Three weeks later this body has decided to react to what may have been a life threatening tumble. If it takes that long to figure out it's hurt, how long is it going to take to heal. Maybe long enough for me to start thinkin' about "movin' into one of them "Patio" homes.

So I took a picture of the bruises to show you I wasn't "joshin'", but even I had the good sense to say, "oooo...gross."

So.....instead I've included a sketch of a goose I just finished. It's my first 18 by 24.  My sister Brenda, an artistic purist, keeps saying   "send me something you haven't Photo Shopped."

Well there it is Brenda!  For the rest of you? Take a gander at these. Here's what you can do with Photo Shop when Brenda isn't looking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man this hurts. Seen the price of those Patio Homes? Good (*%^&$#!