Phew!

CAPTION: I'm sorry Paul. But that really IS kind of a funny story.

 

Every station in life has it's requirements. I said when we started out on this unplanned adventure, I was giddy. And I've learned by experience that GIDDINESS is a clear prerequisite of Living in The Middle Lane.

It's pretty clear that living between the fast and slow lanes, we are trapped. Someone else is in charge. There is often no way to get to the offramp.

And, so, if we are going to display any semblence of something interpreted as sanity? We can become Walter Mitty and fantasize we are ACE PILOTS OUT ON THE RUNWAY OF LIFE. Or We can learn to LAUGH AT OURSELVES. In fact sometimes it's advisable to do both.

These are matters to ponder as we jump into the final chapter of

                 THE CARBURETOR DID IT

                        

                      The final Chapter 

 

Back to the phone with MY MECHANIC? He’s just told me the car has slipped the timing chain?

“Well, what does that mean.”

“It means at least 150 dollars, it means I’ll have to order the parts, and it means I can’t get to it today.”

 

Ah, from aggression to abject depression in seconds.

“Are you SURE that’s the problem?”

 

“I’m absolutely sure. Do you want me to go ahead with it?”

 

Barely audible I say, “yeah, go ahead.”

 

“I’ll have it ready for you tomorrow when you get off work.”

 

I take the bus to work and arrange for a ride home late in the day. There is actually a slight sense of relief I don’t have to worry about the dragon for a day. The idea that a car provides you personal freedom is at least an overstatement. It’s almost relaxing riding the bus.

 

The next morning anticipation builds slowly. Even though MY MECHANIC  says it will be early evening before the car is ready? I can’t resist a mid morning call just to see how it’s going.

 

“Hey, the parts are in and I’ll have it ready for you when you get off work.”

 

This is comforting. At least the parts are in. I put everything in the back of my mind until mid afternoon. Well, maybe just one more call.

 

“Say I’m glad you called. I’ve got a problem.”

 

“Oh, shit! What now,” I blurt out with perfect eloquence.

 

“I had a guy call in sick on me. I can’t get it done this afternoon.”

 

“WELL, WHEN, THEN!”

 

“Calm down. I’m going to work on it starting now and have it ready for you about 9 tonight. See you then.”

 

Suspicious, I call back precisely at 9.

 

“Hey, I’ll have it done in a half hour. Come on down. I just need to test drive it. I think you’re going to be very happy with it. I put in a new carburetor.”

 

“YOU WHAT!!!!?”

 

“Yeah, it wasn’t the timing chain afterall.”

 

“BUT YOU…..SAID………”

 

“You know I’m almost 100 percent right on these things. I’m glad I figured it out. Saved you 20 bucks.”

 

It’s been several weeks now that I’ve had sole possession of the car. It hasn’t STALLED, it hasn't POPPED, and I've seen no FLAMES coming from the CARBURETOR or the EXHAUST.

 

But there is this little vibration going on down by the engine mount? On the front passenger side? Any ideas?

Now that's FUNNY!

Oh, yeah!! I almost forgot. It still TWEET, TWEETS!