"I'd like to thank the academy, my parents, my friends, my children, my lovely wife, and of course, most of all....North Korea's Kim Jong Il."
"Huh?"
Today, stars are being born. ****Media Stars****
When Kim shot off his bottle rockets today? He ensured success for a host of new writers, producers, anchors and reporters.
Why? Because it is a HOLIDAY! And it's not in the middle of a major RATING'S period.
There are not enough private jets on the planet to get all those journalists back to their newsrooms and studios.
Elizabeth Vargas isn't about to give up that Irish-Puerto Rican family picnic. Not the way she's been treated.
Charlie Gibson is probably still asleep.
Anderson Cooper has been told he shows up at the Estate today or he'll be dis-inherited.
And so it goes across the country. This is that fantasy day all neophytes tuck in the back of their brains. It's a dirty job, but, hey! Somebody's got to do it.
There are freelancers who've been sitting around in Seoul for five years waiting for this day.
'THIS IS MY BIG CHANCE!"
"Say, you guys need a hand on that Rocket thing?"
And, OH MY! The new pool of experts we'll see surface. I'm envisioning thousands of academics reworking their Curriculum Vitae to highlight the course they took in 1950 on Korean Pennisula Politics.
One of my bits of advice I pass on to students in class...is to memorize the phrase, "Can I Help?"
Sing it out my friends! Sing it loud! Sing it Clear! Take a good Deep Thorasic Breath and LET 'ER RIP!
"CAN I HELP...PLEASE CAN I HELP?"
You might as well. Believe me it's going to work for somebody.
But don't forget to pause and thank Kim Jong Il....and oh, yeah...THE AMERICAN FLAG.
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