I'm not a big fan of the E-Mail FORWARD. That is not to say I don't read them, that I don't think about them, that I don't send them. By the time I'm done here, I know many of you will have dropped off the page in disgust, but that's okay, too. We'll just have to "AGREE TO DISAGREE."
(I hate that cliche. What does it really mean, anyway? )
Here comes a list of my pet peeves about FORWARDS: (Please add the phrase "as Paul sees it" at the head of each protest.) (Oh, and like the 5th estate that employed me for three and half decades, I'd fight to the death to defend FORWARDS.)
1. I don't like True Believer Forwards. Someone sends me something from some self-proclaimed GURU who has seen the light and knows it all. If I join the person who sent the Forward in fervent submission, there will be three of us, and so on, and so on until we become some scary religious or survivalist sect. We will rule the World. Come on, who really wants to do that?
2. I don't like most single position political thought forwards. They assume I'm either fo' or 'agin em. And I'm sorry that just isn't true, and it makes me mad. And I would venture to say there are no PURE Democrats, Republicans, Conservatives, Radicals, etc.
I'll bet you there isn't an adult on the planet that hasn't spent a few minutes being a Libertarian.
My best days as a journalist were when I got two calls at the end of the day....one chewing me out for being a "flaming" Socialist followed by a call from somebody labeling me an "evil" Republican.
(So I don't like 'em, yet once again I defend them. We need to be exposed to how people are living and thinking.)
3. I, without shame or apology, hate the Guilt forwards. "Pass this Forward on to six of your friends (soon to be enemies) within the next ten minutes or you will be visited by locusts and fire ants. ( And damned if they don't show up.) Please just let Karma take it's own course.
But you know what? There are FORWARDS I like. I like the quirky, humorous, make my day FORWARDS. I like a lot of the clever, ironic, funny videos that come from REAL, REAL LIFE. I like some of the jokes. But mostly I like the FATEFUL forward that illustrates everything I've been saying lately.
"GIVE US AN EXAMPLE, THEN, PAUL!
In a couple of "nut shells" I've been comparing this economic mess we're in, with the later and post stages of the great depression.
AND as an offshoot of THAT thinking, I've been sharing some photos and notebooks illustrating life as it may have been in the 50's. AND, as an extension of that vein, I've slipped in a few light hearted thoughts about getting less young.
Without naming names, there are some of you who will read this I KNOW have been to THIS mountain.
At a given advanced AGE in our medically sophisticated society, all men, and some women are HIGHLY advised to get something called a Colonoscopy. (The root word Colon offers some clues.)
I like to be informed and prepared before being experimented on. So, I did some research before showing up for my FIRST Colonoscopy. And then when the prep nurse asks, "Do you know what is about to happen here?"
I cleverly reply, "yeah, you're going to blow smoke up my A__!" Hardy guffaws follow.
Hardly scientific language you say? Well that's what I would have thought had I not gotten this FORWARD from my younger sister BRENDA.
(So I don't like 'em, yet once again I defend them. We need to be exposed to how people are living and thinking.)
3. I, without shame or apology, hate the Guilt forwards. "Pass this Forward on to six of your friends (soon to be enemies) within the next ten minutes or you will be visited by locusts and fire ants. ( And damned if they don't show up.) Please just let Karma take it's own course.
But you know what? There are FORWARDS I like. I like the quirky, humorous, make my day FORWARDS. I like a lot of the clever, ironic, funny videos that come from REAL, REAL LIFE. I like some of the jokes. But mostly I like the FATEFUL forward that illustrates everything I've been saying lately.
"GIVE US AN EXAMPLE, THEN, PAUL!
In a couple of "nut shells" I've been comparing this economic mess we're in, with the later and post stages of the great depression.
AND as an offshoot of THAT thinking, I've been sharing some photos and notebooks illustrating life as it may have been in the 50's. AND, as an extension of that vein, I've slipped in a few light hearted thoughts about getting less young.
Without naming names, there are some of you who will read this I KNOW have been to THIS mountain.
At a given advanced AGE in our medically sophisticated society, all men, and some women are HIGHLY advised to get something called a Colonoscopy. (The root word Colon offers some clues.)
I like to be informed and prepared before being experimented on. So, I did some research before showing up for my FIRST Colonoscopy. And then when the prep nurse asks, "Do you know what is about to happen here?"
I cleverly reply, "yeah, you're going to blow smoke up my A__!" Hardy guffaws follow.
Hardly scientific language you say? Well that's what I would have thought had I not gotten this FORWARD from my younger sister BRENDA.
TOBACCO SMOKE ENEMA (1750's to 1810)
THIS IS VERBATIM UNCENSORED TEXT FROM THE FORWARD'S CAPTION. READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK: "The tobbaco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a FUMigator and BELLOWS that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase, " BLOW SMOKE UP ONE'S ASS."
Okay, maybe I added a little emphasis.
I've been looking FORWARD to crafting this posting.
What do you say in a FORWARD to a BLOG posting about FORWARDS?
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