Picture This

I don't know about you, but Spring has an odd effect on moi! It's when MY personal SPRINGS get a little loose.


What do I see? A Lilliputian castle, and ye?



"Come on Paul, let's focus."

"Is that a weed?"

Meet Iris, daughter of Osiris.

Hide the kids from sin. Send them from the room.

Here comes that wood nymph again.

Some ROBINS are just tired of "Bob, Bob, Bobbin Along."

Is that the best you got?

"Why don't you try a little BLACKbird humor?"

I hope nobody can see me!

"Got my 'camos' on and I'm in attack mode."

I heard you were lurking around with your camera.

So I rushed off to PHOTO SHOP. You like this pose?



Paul I like it when you get squirrely.

I tend to get a lot of attention when you get weird.

"I'll show you how to get attention. I'll just fly head on into this window and knock myself out."

"Yeah, you just go ahead and KNOCK YOURSELF OUT."

"I'm just going to sit up here and "BARK" and act like I'm going to "BITE."

"Anybody seen finch?"

"Yeah, I think he was down at the Photo Shop spying on that hot dove."

"Okay, now.....

"I'll be the OSTRICH and you be the EMU."

"What are you big birds doing out there?"

Got a doctor who is always late? Make sure he has an aquarium .....

And you have your sketch pad.

AND.....since you have your sketch pad with you?

"Can I move now?"

Even the fish have been seen hanging out at Photo Shop.

I guess that's enough. It's hard to stop when no one is around to tell you to stop. Know what I mean?

Poh Pour Hee

"Bill and Coo sitin' in a tree,

K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

The Dove, a symbol of peace and love and hope. Thanks guys for stopping by and mating right in front of us.

A week ago I was at Metropolitan State College's graduation ceremony. I don't teach there anymore, but there were about 15 former students I wanted to tell about the doves.

Any way, what a great opportunity, I think, to test my beard. Would any of them recognize me before I yelled at them? Let's see:

"HEY ELLESE!"



"IT'S PAUL!!!!! HEY PAUL!"




YO, ERIC! YO CORA!


"CORA? I THINK THAT MIGHT BE PAUL THERE IN THE BEARD?"

"IT IS PAUL! HEY PAUL, THANKS FOR COMIN'!




NOW BRIANNE KNEW I WAS COMING, AND STILL?


"PAUL, YOU CAME!!!!!"

"WELL, YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS."




DREW SAYS TO KOMAL, WHO RECOGNIZED ME RIGHT AWAY,

"KOMAL, WHO WAS THAT BACK THERE?"



"IT'S PAUL, SILLY!"

"OH, DARN. I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!



BISHOP SPOTTED ME RIGHT AWAY BUT I THINK HE WAS TRYING TO AVOID ME. HE DROPPED MY CLASS...BUT I STILL THINK HE IS ONE OF THE FUNNIER GUYS ON THE PLANET. AND HE WAS A MILITARY OFFICER?

Brianne invited me to a soiree with her family and friends. What an honor, what fun? What a full live she lives.

I couldn't catch up with Issac at the ceremony, but he invited me to his going away shindig and we got to compare beards.

Some time today I get to go celebrate with Cora and Eric, two of my favorite journalists. Watch for their bylines.

Now, back to beards. I liked Isaac's. It fits him. And now that I've said that, with his fun rebel personality, he'll probably go out and shave it off.

Not to be out done, my cousin Errol can compete in any rebel or beard competition. He is now living in the Carribean. I think we can surmise from the size of the accessory dangling from his lips?

He is not living in Cuba!

Now back to the graduation. The celebrated speaker was an editor with the Rocky Mountain News. Was, I say, because the Rocky Mountain News doesn't exist anymore. He painted a rather bleak near future picture, but then he would, wouldn't he. Wisely he then pointed to a world that this generation, this graduating class will define, with not much help from us I'm afraid.

That suits Issac just fine.

Oh, I have to talk about the economy for minute. Have you noticed how many more BMWs and Mercedes are showing up in the Walmart and Costco lots? By the way if you are looking for some affordable fine dining? Get the Brat and drink at Costco's little eatery. That'll cost you a buck fifty. And the Brat is very good.

And, maybe the best bargain on the planet is their hand dipped Ice Cream bar with nuts. It's to expire for.

Everything is relative. At a restaurant where I'm eating a four course dinner for 7 dollars and twenty five cents? A woman in the booth in front of me is almost in tears telling her friend she is having to cut her monthly massages from 15 to 7. Woe is her!

Well I'd love to part this post on a high note,

but my journalistic integrity commands me to tell you what I think you need to know. Those doves making love in the tree? The truth?

No tree! It's just a rusty old shake shingle. I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure you need to know it.

Pretty Hairy

No that is not me...just a friend of mine I met in Morro Bay, California about ten years ago. While not me? You'll note the big guy is sporting some facial hair? And if truth be told? So am I!

Still!

I've much to add, but I'm facing an interruption at the present time. Please pop back in later for some very deep bearded disCOARSE.

I'm back. No I didn't shave. What I did do to the chagrin of Peggy and Merrie Nellie (the only two upfront enough to say, "PAUL! GET RID OF IT NOW")?

Sorry ladies. NOW is going to have to wait. You see I went out and bought a beard trimmer. And yet some may be pleased to know I bought the cheapest one on the rack. It'll be very lucky to outlast the beard.

I've learned a great deal about cranial (head and/or skull) and mandibular (chin) hair over the past month.For one?

It now makes perfect sense that a man would grow a beard (or a woman don a wig) to hide one's identity. With no effort at all on my part I've very quickly become anonymous in many circles. And in some of those circles we're talking about people I've worked with face to face for decades. You get a strange look that says, " hmmm, he looks a little familiar." But then the looker shakes its head, turns away saying, " nah, just couldn't be."

I think all men in witness protection programs should be wearing beards. It's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery they tell me, and clearly just as effective.

Something else I've noticed is that all adult males, regardless of race, creed or sexual orientation, grow hair in exactly the same places. And I have to tell you I believe it leads to a stifling of creativity. I'm finding there are just a few variations on the theme.

My current style appears to be the most popular. Let the hair grow everywhere it will, but shave your neck to make it look like you care.

There is the one that shaves the chin and squares off the long sideburns. I'm thinking in their case they've got some areas around the mouth and chin that aren't very fertile. They tend to play side kicks in cowboy movies.

Then there is the goatee which surrounds the mouth. I'm thinking these guys are just really proud of their lips and want to hide a scar on the chin where they hit the diving board.

And, oh, there is the "let 'er rip" version. They are all descendants of Rip Van Winkle I'm told. Shaving and trimming is outlawed in the Van Winkle family, and a number of religious sects.

Then there are about five beard compromises we call mustaches.

There is the thin line of hair above the lip, sometime long enough to form an arc on the edges of the nose. It is quite often associated with evil and sinisterism, i.e. Snidely Whiplash.

There is the big old Handle Bar Mustache popularized in my generation my Wilford Brimely. It gives you something to twist while you dispense your rural wisdom.

There is the thick but short cropped mustache above the lip that puzzles me. It just looks like it is unfinished.

It has clearly been cloned from nature. The Walrus comes to mind.

There is what I like to call "The Drip." There are men who see style in growing out just that little patch of unruly hair right below the lip. Once again I've seen it's parallel in nature, but wonder about the first MAN who thought that would be cool.

Then there is one that defies a clear distinction. It is just maybe seven or eight hairs stretched out above the upper lip. It always looks like someone tried to shave in the dark. But, you'll see that same creation on the same person day in and day out. It's is typically seen on guys acting out tough. It seems a strange case of over compensation.

So, anyway, I've still got a little playing around to do. I'm going to wear this thing to the Metro State Graduation ceremonies on Sunday and see if any of my former students can pick me out of a crowd. After that? Who knows?

Don't you want to see a guy who broke the mold and truly made his beard a work of art.

I sketched this guy on light rail a few years ago and I think you can see why.