Fine Whine

That's my branding logo for our Media Support group. What do you think?

Well never mind. What I really want to talk about is yesterday. At the risk of being the poster boy for Phil Graham's "Nation of Whiners," I have to share with you the events of the day.  AND? TO MY CREDIT? I laughed with and at myself all day long.

Peggy is out of town, so any crises that arise, I'm on my own.

So while we out of town for a week...last week?  Word is it was hot and dry here at home for those seven days. We don't even need an official report.  That is because our lawn looks very much like the Mojave Desert.  I guess I forgot to set the sprinkler system. 

Well, I remedy that as soon as we get home, setting the automatic system to run for an hour on every station every third day.  But you know what I discovered early yesterday morning? The system isn't working at all.

(Apparently I actually HAD set it when we left town.)

But THAT means I haven't watered for yet another week.   So I immediately vow I'll get someone out to work on it. 

I thumb through the phone book, reach for the phone, start to dial, and.....POP! And POP is followed by darkness and total silence in that order.

The POWER goes out.  And you know that power decides to "take a powder" on a day when temperatures are predicted to be very near or at 100 DEGREES.

And this power outage comes just after I've gone to the market to buy a bunch of fresh fruits, veggies and TV dinners.

(I've covered enough of these stories to know it takes about 12 hours of outage to wipe out the stuff in the fridge.)

Well, anyway, since I can't call the sprinkler guy, or the power company because my phone is out?  I set off on the daily mission of hunting down my cell phone.

I find it.   I am about to dial when I get the little warning beep that it too, the cell, is about to take a nap.  

I'm now totally incommunicado and set off on the long list of predictable faux pas that go with an outage. I try to turn on the TV to see if there is a massive accident somewhere, followed by trying to warm up some coffee in the micro wave, followed by trying to use the remote to let the deck awning out for a little shade, followed by trying to turn on the fan in the "persons room," followed by trying to electronically open the garage door (because I need to drive around in my car so I can charge up the cell phone.)

Well in time I make contact with my neighbors whose cell phones are doing just fine.  But the news they give me is not fine.

Deb Kwit says to me, "they said  the power'd be back up at 12:15 (noon fifteen) but now they are saying it's going to be at least another four hours. "

Well it has already been four hours, so I either have to tough it out or take some drastic action.

My drastic action is to manually open the garage door, plug my Cell phone into the cigarette lighter, and head out to take care of some errands. 

With errands complete I note on a local town thermometer the unofficial mercury reading is 98 degrees.  So in my new role as "man of action" I choose not to return home and watch all my groceries melt.  Instead I'll go to the show.  It is air conditioned.

(I see Hancock starring  Will Smith.  It's a pretty hokey plot but he really is getting to be one of the more believable performers in any role he steps in to.  That's all I'm going to tell you 'cause you may be on the way there now.)

Following my strategic venture into the movie theatre I note I am parked right in front of a bar and restaurant. Well why not "belly" up to the bar and get a fish sandwich and a COLD beer in a nice air conditioned environment. 

(Peggy hates fish so I try to gorge myself with as much of it as I can when she's out of town.)

Well I finally give into responsibility. I hop into the car hoping I've driven enough to charge my cell. I get home and push the remote button to open the garage door?   Oh, yeah, no power.

So I do all those manual things necessary to gain entry.

(I wonder if anyone under 20 would know how to manually gain entry?)

Well to my surprise the power, in fact, IS back on.  Half the lights in the house, two TVs and a laptop are all noisily active. Buzzers are going off.  I set about to re set all the clocks.

(Isn't it nice that with cell phones we don't have to call somebody to get the exact time for clock resetting? That is of course if our cells are charged.) 

Well with these tasks complete, I remember that I've devoured one of those mini watermelons in the morning 'cause I don't want it to succumb to the heat.  I've left cut up rind in the sink and then hit the go button on the garbage disposal to get rid of it? One more task that requires power.

So it was time to revisit that failed mission.  Well it rumbles into action, powerfully cranking away on the hide of this sweet fruit.  Everything seems to be back on track.......but.........

WHAT'S THIS?

 

I hate plumbing chores.  Turns out it isn't the watermelon rind stopping up the sink "per se."  It is actually a twig from a bunch of grapes that defies going through the trap...hence trapping everything else that wants to get by. That in course has nasty water full of rotting flora rising to the lip of the sink. It stops just short of over flowing. "The Sink is more than Half Full." (Take that Phil Graham!)

Oh, yeah....I'd grabbed those grapes to east because I thought they too would succumb to the big melt down.

So once again, Phil Graham,  I really am not waiting for the next "shoe to drop."

I just think it is a pretty funny (weird funny) day.

And how about this for anti-whiniing.

"The student becomes the teacher."

A former student of mine, Psalm by name, is a wise role model for those of us befuddled by such circumstances.  Once a year she just freely shuts off all her power for a week. She does it she says so she'll appreciate what she has, and gain confidence that if need be, she can live without it.

I'll never be that wise.