Friday, December 7, 2007

Moi?

CAPTION: "Parlais Voux Croissant?"

By design I've tried to keep this journal away from the hot topics of the day. You are constantly bombarded with worldly concerns that distract you from the REAL issues in your life. But today the political pundits and I must merge. The issue? Immigration.

 

 

There is something sinister quietly taking place in our suburban communities (at least this one). And I think we need to "nip it in the bud" before it gets out of hand. Aliens are crossing our borders smuggling in some very potent poisons. And they are appealing to our weaknesses. They are attacking our economy and our health. And I'll bet most of you don't even know this is taking place.

 

 

 

So while we are getting all tangled up in debate over drugs and job takers crossing the Rio Grande? While we wince at the thought of terrorists sneaking in through our Northern borders? Shouldn't we be just as worried and tied into knots over the quiet arrival of French Bakers?

 

 

 

So Peggy and I are driving home from dinner the other night? We somehow get in the wrong lane to make the right turn to get to the ice cream store?

"WHAT are we going to do?"

 

 

"I know this isn't your first choice. But I think that new so called "French" bakery is open up here on the right? Want to give it a shot?"

"I guess. If we have to."

We were pretty sure we were just going to take home a croissant or cream puff designed by Betty Crocker. But folks this really IS a FRENCH BAKERY.  We've not been to France.  And I'm not sure there is any longer a need to put it on the itenerary. I'm Pretty confident we've just experienced the best the FRANKly people have to offer.

The Presentation? Oh, man!

 

The variety? Oh my goodness.

 

 

The bread? We got a loaf of their sourdough? Miners in California may have invented it. But it's pretty clear the French took it from there. San Francisco better start pushing it's abalone instead.

 

 

The Croissants? OHHH! The Cream Puffs? OH,OH,OH,OH. The Creme Broule? Yah, yah, yah, yah.

 

 

"Where you all from?"

"Normandy, Monsieur. Do you know it?"

"I know you must have some pretty healthy cows there. That's what I know."

Well we gave up Ice Cream to purchase two desserts a piece (and a croissant on the side for me. What could it hurt?) and a loaf of sourdough. We'd nibble on the croissant on the way home, have one dessert that night, and another one the next night. The bread would last a week. That way the twenty dollars we put on the counter could be justified against the five dollars (with a coupon) we'd have spent on ice cream.

 

 

Well the "Norman Nosh" lasted all the way until midnight.

This is a serious matter.  We need to forget the French gave us a sculpture to stand up in New York Harbor. I'm now thinking the Statue of Liberty is a "TROJAN HORSE" laden with pastries.

 

Despite having gained five pounds a piece? We are spending gallons of gas now to take routes that won't take us by the bakery (You know what gas is going for). 

 

 

 

These French Goodies are just about all we can think about. These Normans should never have been allowed to cross our borders and set up shop in a community accustomed to Crispy Creme. We are in trouble.

 

 

Now I don't want to blow this all out of proportion. But we have a lot of professional athletes living and working in this area. The existence of this PLACE is not going to blend with the training tables.

 

 

It's a good thing we've got two new hospitals in the area.  I hope they are loaded up with heart specialists. PEOPLE some very dangerous people have immigrated to this country.

For your personal safety? I'm not going to tell you where they are. If it looks like they might be going out of business, I may change that posture.

"HI! MY NAME IS PAUL, AND I AM A FRENCH PASTRY ADDICT."

For the record? As you can see below? We didn't officially eat everything!

 

 

"HI! PAUL."

I had planned on taking some real pictures of the goodies for you to see....but guess what?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

beautiful!!! tj

Anonymous said...

I've just recently weaned myself off Dairy Queen blizzards. Hope they don't bring that dreadful stuff here. Paula

Anonymous said...

There is no need to go to France. French culture merely consists of urinating in public and cruelty to geese. As for croissants, they were originally Austrian and the French just pinched the idea.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/acoward15/andy-the-bastard/