Haircut? Me?

CAPTION: "What do you mean where's my comb?"

There was a wonderful moment of humor relief at the service for my niece Donna this summer. (For any new comers, Donna died of breast cancer at 42. Donna was a beautiful woman.) One of Donna's male neighbors recalls welcoming Matt and Donna when they first moved in. The neighbor clearly recalls looking at Matt, then Donna, and then whispering to himself, "man did this guy over achieve."

I, of course,  did the generic laugh with everyone else. But whilst drawing last night? First a likeness of Peggy? (The first one by the way she's ever allowed me to show in public.)Then a self portrait? That little joke became a lot more personal.  

We were up in Breckenridge (mountain ski and tourist area) this past week. Whilst there we bought Peggy an appropriate cup stenciled with the message, "Living With A Norwegian Builds Character."

Look at these drawings and "I GUESS SO!"

I mean how would you like to wake up to this guy every morning? Just think how much worse it would be if I hadn't combed my hair?

Some people, Peggy included I believe, think its high time I got back to school and occupied my mind with activities that might benefit society. That comes tommorrow unless someone with decision making power reads this first.  Ta Ta summer.

So Long Pal

CAPTION: "Is that you Sheila?"

My heart weighs a ton today. When I was a child I had a standing wish that someday I would have a Pen Pal. It would be someone from a distant land, someone I'd probably never meet in person, but someone I could just let loose with, be vulnerable with, care about, long for the wisdom of.  I know I gave it a shot a few times, but it never worked out.

Then along comes this blog, and out of the woodwork comes Sheila from Yonkers, New York. She is a woman of many wonderful words, a few of which I share with you now.

From Sighlemaccaba:

"I was right there with you, feeling the blissful peace of the storm."

"Absolutely gob smackingly brilliant. Ay Hombre!"

"I guess you qualify for OLD when you know what a BLOG is but never heard of My Space."

"Baited breath, dear boy, baited breath. You sure know how to keep a person in suspenders."

"As for escalators? First of all why is it called an escalator? Does it escalate anything? It crawls up through space at a snail's pace. But.....if you ride backwards, you can check out the cute guys and gals behind you. I find an escalator soothing and relaxing, a good place to have a nice cup of tea, or maybe a gin and tonic."

"No Comment."

I haven't heard from Sheila from Yonkers for while. I know she's been fighting cancer. Two days ago I was excited to see an email pop up with her user name. But when I opened it, it read, "Remove from Mailing List."

I sure miss you pen pal.

My First Wish Is....

CAPTION: "It is the Year of The Chihuahua, and I am here to grant you 20 wishes."

 

I got up and watched dust particles burn up in the atmosphere overnight. I caught about 20 of the little devils. According to my myth memory, that means I get 20 wishes granted this year. Wish number one is that I get a little nap time later today.

For those of you who've never experienced insomnia in August? And those of you who are just generally astronomically disinterested?  The sky over night in August, in just the right conditions, has a shooting star performance called the PERSEID SHOWER. Personally I wish no one had ever told me that shooting stars are just dust particles discarded by passing comets. It takes away the romance, don't you think?

But? I'm not ready to give up this GRANT YOU A WISH myth. I don't know about you, but 20 wishes granted over a 12 month period would be, in today's vernacular, AWESOME! 

Now for the uninitiated wish maker? Don't be greedy. I can tell you right now from personal experience? Wishes for eternal youth and "astronomical" wealth are not typically granted.

I think its only when you "blow out a candle" on a birthday cake that you are supposed to keep your mouth shut about your wishes. So I'm going to give you my twenty right here, right now. We'll check it next August to see how I did.

1. I WISH they'd build at least 20 percent fewer traffic circles in new developments across the country. Those of you who've visited often know I hate those things. Remember the scene in European Vacation where Chevy Chase can't get off the circle? ( I may need one of you who is good at counting to help me out with this one.)

2. I WISH there will be enough of a fuel crisis this year to get half the 32 to 45 year old soccer moms out from behind the wheels of SUVS.  There must some other way they can release their agresssion. I've seen women in the boxing ring? (I suppose that rules out asking any woman in that age group to count traffic circles for me.)

3. I WISH some scientist would invent some sort of food additive that tastes like transfat.

4. I WISH we'll all learn to "love our neighbors" so much this year, some lawmaker will be motivated to write a bill that will outlaw Home Owner's Associations.

5. I WISH they'd finished this damned road project behind our house.

6. I WISH  the Colorado peach crop will have a better yearahead. (This year's offerings are puny and not quite as tasty.)

7. I WISH they'd decide to bring back Peggy's favorite Ice Cream Variety. (That wish is not quite as altruistic as it may appear. You ever seen or heard a woman scream in the cold storage aisle of a grocery store? It's not pretty!)

8. I WISH when we go out to dinner? Which is a lot? They stop asking us, "Is this your first time dining with us?" This is a wish Peggy and I devoutly share. Of what possible value would our answer be? We're going to lie!

9. I WISH they'd temper the "Overstock.Com" commercials in the coming year. I'm tired ot getting aroused with the thought of getting a mail order shirt a dollar cheaper. (Only those of you who've seen and focused on their ads will get this one.)

10. I WISH men and women will start knitting baby clothes at home. (My Stepdaughter Rhonda is with child, so I've been dragged into an incredible number of stores that cater to the little ones. Are you kidding me? I had no idea this industry existed. So these are those people living in those big houses on the golf courses.)

11. I WISH we'd find some path out of this real estate dilemma. (I fear these irrational price differentials are just part of some James Bond Villan's plot to get us all to move to some cheap land he bought in Mexico.)

12. I WISH bureaucrats who write for a living, will see the simplicity light. KISS. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID. I'm coming up on Medicare and I understand NOTHING.  

13. I wish the guys and gals at Jiffy Lube would stop showing me the air cleaner and telling me it's dirty. What's their point?

14. I WISH Target, and Costco, and Walmart and now SEARS will stop selling groceries.  I'm getting so confused. Can't anything stay the way it is for say, maybe a year?

15. I WISH the grocery industry will stop feeling the need to offer ten thousand varieties of chips. How are we supposed to remember which ones we like? I'mserious now. These thingsare taking up two full aisles in most grocery stores. (And that's not even counting the organic offerings.)

16. I WISH the MEDICAL COLLUSION will cut down on the number of daily medical reports. I can't even look at a cup of coffee with a straight face. I don't know if it's going to take ten years off my life, or cure my bunyons.

17. I WISH India the best, but hope they find better job opportunities there than helping us fix our computers over the phone.

18. I WISH students will stop writing to me asking how to get to a classroom I have no idea how to get to.

19. I WISH someone will invent a pencil sharpener that actually sharpens a pencil. ( I know pencils are passe as we progress into our "PAPERLESS" society. But, hey, if you've just gotten into drawing?)

20. I WISH....Oh, yeah, theres that nap.

"Perseid", by the way, means this dust comes from the Perseus constellation. Perseus is the Greek man-god who slew the many snake headed Gorgon Medusa. So? Greek to me!

So You See It's Like This.....

"What you been up to?", someone queried recently. I'm quite sure they were trying to disguise their disgust over my absence from this forum.

But look, the fall (school) is nigh, it's hot, and I just might not feel like doing this, okay?

But here's the truth, as I see it.  Recently many of my favorite Metropolitan State alumnae have asked for, and been gladly granted my aid and advice. It's a bit rewarding to be RIPE enough to actually have something to say that might help!

But that's only a piece of the truth.

"What have I been doing?"  Drawing!

Most of the women in my family, wife, sisters, neices and some female cousins are artists. At least two of them, my younger sister for one, pretend to make livings at it.

(I'll give you Brenda's web site at the end of this. She is pretty diverse. You'll find something you like.)

I have a late uncle, Gabe, who dabbled in oil. I have a male cousin, Joe, who had a studio in Santa Fe.  So you think it might be in my genes?

I've never been in an art class. I've looked at, but never read an art text. Art History was the only college course that put a 'D' on my transcript. I'm pretty sure I've never, ever drawn a straight line, or recognizable circle.  But I've always wanted to draw. So?

Too many well meaning elders in our societies? They wander around graduation parties telling just matriculated Dustin Hoffman, "Plastics my boy. Get into plastics." Today substitute IT, Pharaceuticals, Insurance, Brokerage for plastics. We are naysayers, and dream killers.   

I preach to all my students. Don't be a "WANNA BE!" Now be flexible, and prepared to adjust your dream as you go. But if you've got a dream? If you wanna be? WELL GO BE! You will never regret it.

So what's something I've always wanted to be? I've always wanted to be a DRAWER, and not the kind you keep your underwear in.

So that's what I've 'BEEN UP TO!"

"I been drawin'!"

Yeah, those are mine up there.

Oh, here's Brenda's web site. Tell her Paul sent you and she'll send me a ten dollar coupon towards an art lesson.

www.brendareinertson.com