"TEST, ONE, TWO, THREE!"

Flirtatious: Say! You wanna see me flex my uvula?

Real Mood: Playful

Prediction: Greek scholars will discover Anthony Quinn was not Greek at all, but they'll try to hide the fact.

I try to excite my announcing class every semester with a special tribute to Demosthenes. (or as they call him, the guy with the name that starts with 'D.')

At the risk of insulting some of you, I'll remind us all that Demosthenes was arguably the greatest orator of all time. You may best remember him as the Greek guy who loaded his mouth up with rocks to practice his speeches.( As it turns out that part may be  myth. But somebody must have tried it or we wouldn't even think of such a thing.)

So in years past I've had the students fill up their mouths with less damaging mass to practice their speeches.  Almost nothing works. Marshmellows dissolve at an incredible rate. Fritos just turn to mush and leave you smacking your lips from all the salt. At first I was impressed with those little candies from the theatre counters, "JuJuBees?" ( I'm not sure about the spelling.) But they sort of defeat the purpose because they pretty much glue your upper and lower mandibles together.

I now opt for an exercise I was taught where you just practice your speech with a pencil jammed between your front teeth. I don't tell my, or any other dentist, I do that. (Of course they're lucky because these dentists can  fix anything nowadays.)

What's more likely true is that Demosthenes ran along the sand of an Aegean Sea beach while spouting his rhetoric. It reportedly enhanced his breath control. We don't have any sand so our group jogs along a creek bike path. I can tell you the running works well. (Thanks D Guy) This is the first semester I didn't have four or five students (mostly women) show up in flip flops even though I warn them. I always give them the choice of either walking or jogging. This year it was nothing but tennies and joggers. Wisdom does not always come with age. I say, as I always have, "I won't ask you to do anything I wouldn't do."  Full participation means I gotta jog. Dang!

Almost surely true is that the 'D" guy (or some other
Greek) stood on that Aegean shore and delivered his speech to the noisy surf. That's for projection, something you need for theatre. Demosthenes needed it to argue his cases in huge forums. Sophisticated microphonery is slowly turning projection into a lost art. But not in my class by golly. Just ask the library staff.  Every once in a while we get a complaint because a studio behind the library is our class room.  I've forumlated a standard reply. The Greeks, I believe, would at least applaud it's title.  I call it "Paul's Apologetics."

But at least once a semester we take our projection on the road. At that same creek I've found a small waterfall that makes some noise year round. Man,  do we have some projectors this go round! The loudest opened my eyes to a professional skill that could easily impressed Demosthenes. She's been a pool lifeguard at an hour when only loud and obnoxious youngsters frolic. Maybe next semester we'll go to a pool.

My only disappointment today is we didn't get the usual homeless guys joining in as we howl over the water's fury.  It must have been free sandwich hour, beause they were nowhere to be seen.

Well, one other disappointment. I half jokingly suggested we jog back up the creek. They said, "okay." What happened to good old teenage rebellion? 

I did have my annual physical this morning and my medical mentor suggested I might want to get some more exercise. "Well, how about them apples, Doc.!"

I believe with all my heart that education should be practical. "Huh," you say? There will come a day in all my student's lives when the sound system will go out. Those days will be their days.  "LET'S HEAR IT FOR DEMOSTHENES."

Did you know Athens is a word we made up. A self respecting Greek would have no idea how to get there. And save yourself some ridicule. Don't ask a German how to get to Munich. And the real name for that country with all the fjords? It's not Norway. Not even close.  I gotta go!