The Eyes Have it! So Do The Ears!

Flirtatious: "Why don't we paint our initials on that big heart shaped rock over there?"

Real Mood: Absorbant

Prediction: The human population in this metroplex will not decrease in 2006.

I've found a place in this two million person metropolis where I can sit outside all alone.  From my perch I can see three hundred miles of mountain range. I can take in over 300 hundred degrees of horizon. With my telephoto lens I can pick out every building over ten stories in a 50 mile radius.  I can see all the major bodies of water. Give me some coordinates and I can probably pick you out. No more hints.

Several years ago photographer Jim Weis and satellite engineer Bruce Binns and I got close to this spot.  We were trying to visually demonstrate urban growth with a live shot.

When we first discovered it,  I was blown away. I raved about it so much I think Jim and Bruce were wondering if  they should try to get me some oxygen. 

Well guys I've settled down since then. Besides this new spot is even better. I'm thinking about bringing my broadcast journalism TV class up here and let life lecture to them.

Sure, I want them to see the best "wide shot" you're going to find in this state.  But you know what?

You can't really tell a very good TV story with just a Wide Angle lens.  A good TV story is going to need some tight and medium shots from that Telephoto. And if it's a story of any significant merit it'll need some extreme close ups.  So bring along the Macro, too.

A TV story without any ambient or natural sound should never make air.

Like TV life needs all those perspectives to make sense.

Let's go exploring.

From this perch a prevailing wind whistles through high grass and a few trees.  Geese flying overhead blast through the silence with their honking horns. Occassionally a Detroit designed horn from miles away joins the chorus.

The cooing of a couple hiking almost a mile away reaches my ear. They'd blush to know how well sound carries.

Just down the hill roofers and carpenters have started a rhythmic banging and sawing composition.

Then comes the blare of a catering truck's horn. It silences the hammer and saw symphony. 

On the other side of the hill I hear a child's, "Wheeee!"  A woman  ispushing that child on a swing in a backyard.

A family dog is barking with glee chasing the swing back and forth in it's arc.  

All our heads are lifted upward when we hear the racing roar of  F-16 jet engines. Even the home builders take breaks from their burritos.  It takes a few seconds, but now we all see the jets.  Now they're gone. Back to the burritos.

I can hear the soft "Clip Clop" of horses somewhere on the trail that brought me here. Now I see them just over the hill. Oh, listen to that "WHINNIE!" I'm not suprised they're in the neighborhood. They'd left some equine evidence I nearly stepped in.

I'm taking pictures but haven't decided yet if they'll make air. No I won't use the Macro.  But you know,  if I do,  I could pick up the "BZZZ" of the flies?  They've stopped by to nibble on their own form of burrito..

There is a minute of near silence. (The wind in the grass is always there.) Then I think I'm about to be crushed by a "thundering  herd of antelope". No, it's just a gang of sweating runners prancing in their licra.  There must be a big "something K"  coming up.

You know there's a story here somewhere. A TV story. I'm thinking! How about.....

"Nature Looks for A Niche in Man's Map?

As seen through the EYES of a LEAFLET?

On a slow news day?

On the noon show?

Maybe on a weekend?

I'm telling you I can make this work.

You wanna pass me that oxygen?

Enero no es mas! Or something like that."

Rhinos Don't Float

Flirtatious: " Like the view up here in the penthouse?"

Real Mood: Collectively both Impish and Oafish..

Prediction: Lladro will never sculpt a Rhinoceros.

I suppose there are some serious things going on in the World I ought to be reflecting on.  But when I catch this Rhino climbing our lamp shade? Nope! There'll be no serious pondering here today, the next to last day of January.

The Rhino reminds me of an exercise we're doing in Announcing Class. To get students loose with the copy they are reading aloud? I give them a stereotype persona to hide behind.  

"Okay BillyBob, while you are reading your article on glaciation? I want you to read it as a vegetarian."

Now I've got a stereotype picture of a "vegan" in MY brain. So why is BillyBob struggling with finding a prototype vegetarian to imitate?

Well a RHINO is a VEGAN, isn't it? That sort of skews the profile boundaries. I'm not going to gently ask a rhino if I can share his lemongrass.

The star today is Evan, who is sharing his academic treatise on the rare "Elephant Shrew" in the persona of a Bavarian Winter Olympic Athlete. ( His Austrian Slalom master could be a voice twin to Governor Arnold.)   Should you ever be in desperate need of a humungous belly laugh? I'll loan Evan out to you as his agent.  We may have to take his act on the road this summer.

Evan is just the star. Everyone lets loose of some constraints. I wonder if I just hang on to this exercise for my own amusement?

I don't think so? But you never know. A side benefit is it appears to be a back handed way to blow up some of those stereotypes.

It's been my experience that very few GREAT lessons are planned.  They just happen! Some social scientist comes along later and defines them for us. THEN we put them in the text book.

When I was in Peace Corps training a billion years ago, a staff mission was to find ways to put all of us under SOME form of extreme pressure. Believe it or not, that's no mean task.

Take a guy who graduates Cum Laude from the University of Montana.  He's a hardened cowboy, and a Division II All American tight end on the football team. He is annoyingly polite. His second language facility is impressive.  He treats women like the porcelain dolls of Lladro. He drinks beer and never gets inebriated.

How do you rattle his cage?

Well they DO find a way.  And I'm pretty sure they find it by accident. 

They teach us all a swimming pool floating technique they call "Drown Proofing."

I mean you never know when you'll be captured by rebels in Columbia, tossed into a submarine, and then unloaded in the middle of the sea and told, "Drown you Yankee Pig!" Right?  

Meanwhile back at the pool. To test our proficiency in this skill they tie our hands and feet behind us. Then they throw us in the pool. They casually walk away telling us they HOPE to be back in about a half hour.

I'm sure you've all noticed that women tend to float better than men? That's the case at sea or in a pool. The PRESSURE gradient from Drown Proofing for women? It's not particularly high.

Men do float as well, but not as easily. They do it with the aid of a little body fat. I mean we all have some body fat, right?

"Cum Laude" tight ends from Montana do not have any body fat.  They do not float. They sink in water at the speed of a meteorite. 

And that's the speed with which the staff reappears to rescue the All American. They do not wait the suggested thirty minutes.

Hauled to the surface, spitting buckets of chlorinated water from his lungs,  the tight end mutters something akin to, "so that's what you call  &^$#!$$ pressure?"

I'm pretty confident someone quickly jotted down a reminder that likely read:

"Memo to self. Get this Drown Proof thing into training manual. Make sure it's used on any trainees who happen to be tight ends from Montana. Keep life raft close by!"

OUR tight end starts employing a new language facility. All of sudden he's using some new foreign words. These are words seldom heard in front of any Lladro dolls.

All of a sudden beer starts to have an impact on our Montanan. 

Over time he's backed off the weight training  and added at least enough body fat to float.

Memo maybe pinned to Peace Corps training officer's bulletin board?

" Do not tie hands , and or feet,  of any trainees who are Rhinos. Do not throw Rhinos into pool or sea.  Rhinos do not float! Rhinos can not be lifted by hand. But I've heard they can jump."

February? What's that? A Month You Say?

Flirtatious: "Will you join me in a whole month's worth of Pagan Celebrations?"

Real Mood: Pre-Exhausted

Prediction: Bode Miller will moon the IOC.

Well, we're about to wrap up January, arn't we? Then we'll just slip into that boring old month February. THE HOLIDAYS are over, the trees are down, the Menorah is wrapped and stored, the ornaments packed away, everybody is back to work or in school. Ramadan is history, Kwanza has run it's course. Even the Chinese New Year has come and gone. (What's this the year of, anyway?The Dog?) February! Blah! Right?

Hold your ponies people.  Take a closer look at old February. It's a little more eventful than you might remember. And this February is going to be a cage rattler. I thought maybe we should discuss it and get prepared before we get overwhelmed.

First we need to understand that February is the first big TV rating period of the year. Some News rooms are going to be going crazy looking for an audience. Normally we at home would be going crazy too as we watch all the promotions and "Chicken Little" news. But we've been thrown some curves this February.

Well let's get this one out of the way. We have to face Groundhog Day. I'm guessing the cable movie channels are going to innundate us with Bill Murray re-runs this week. (Get the irony?)  He thinks he was bored!

Out here we think Punxsutawney Phil is a fraud.  We tend to rely on the abominable snowpack man and a local prarie dog for our length of winter predictions. Far more reliable.

This year, 2006, we aren't going to get much of a break. Just as soon as "Phil" crawls back in his hole? We're going to be awash in Superbowl hype.  Before it's over, if you're paying attention, we're going to know how Shaun Alexander felt when his mother took away his training wheels.

And of course we'll get the "Billion Dollar" commercials dribbled out to us all week.  They'll save a few for game day. They, this year, is ABC.  The local ABC affiliate sales people will be out looking for property and speedboats through Sunday.

However, ABC affiliate financial joy will be short lived.  This February the Superbowl will flow right into the Winter Olympics, where NBC has cornered the market. The games will hit February 11th, and run through the 26th.  On the 27th I know where the NBC affiliate sales people can pick up some cheap property and boats.

Let us not  forget our neighbor Mexico has two holidays notched in between Groundhog Day and the start of the Superbowl. We should also acknowledge a New Zealand Maori celebration called Waitangi Day.  And don't forget Japan's Foundation Day. I got all those off my Rhino Calendar.

That calendar also reminds me of the silly February thing we did a long time ago. Instead of celebrating individual birthdays of two of our key Presidents? Well let's just combine them into one and call it President's Day. Fine, but the Lincoln and Washington People have never been happy about that.  So now instead of one day devoted to honoring our executive branch?  We've got three.  All in February. (Lincoln has to share his with Chinese Lantern Day.)  I know we all know this but sometimes you just got to scream it out, don't ya?

Now don't spend all your energy on what we've already talked about 'cause there's a lot more.

You'll need a good hunk of your energy for Valentine's Day on the 14th.  There are a lot of people who are going to need some lovin'. Just think of the fans on the losing Superbowl team. You folks in Seattle and Pittsburgh  ought to have a bunch ready to go just in case. And there will have been quite a few Silver and Bronze medals handed out by the 14th.

I know you think you're out of the woods, but not so! Mexico has the Dia de la Bandera on the 24th, and then on the 28th there's Shrove Tuesday, AKA Fat Tuesday, AKA Mardi Gras, Aka Carnaval (PARTEEE TIME). That should just about do us in don't you think?

You think you got it tough.  February is also the month my late mother and baby sister were born. ( If I forget to call this year Brenda, please understand.) 

I don't know how common it is, but did you notice the New Moon comes on the last day of February this year?

We might all consider sending St. Valentine cards to the affiliate sales people at CBS, FOX and WB. They got nothin'.

Walker's High

Flirtatious:"Look at this little bauble I got for you at Tiffanys."

Real Mood: Anti-Supercilious

Prediction: Some day "Dollar Stores" will give way to "Two Dollar Stores." ( Remember dime stores?) 

Sometimes the shadows are more enchanting than the reality.

You can think about things like that when your endorphins are activated.  

That's one of the nice things about living in this part of the country.  You can get a "runner's high" walking to the grocery store.

(For those of you of more recent birth that's where you walk out the front door. Then you put one foot in front of the other until you reach the market. After shopping you carry your groceries home as a pedestrian. No, really!)

So while I'm out walking this morning I get to thinking about things I've seen lately that are incongruous. Isn't incongruity just a challenge of our expectations?  But even within that definition I think there must be some relativity to incongruity.  And it's my BLOGGY declaration that REAL incongruity must be supported by a set of circumstances beyond all normal imagination.

For instance, the enchanting dancing shadows in the picture above are reflections of a very decayed, colorless, thistle plant. Strange, but so what? Incongruous? I don't think so.

In an earlier BLOG entry I talked about being penned in by a Mercedes in a COSTCO parking lot. A little weird, but I can live with that.

I can top that now.  We're in a parking lot of a strip mall in California.  I park as close to the front door of a drugstore as I can. I don't want my mother-in-law to have to walk far.  We had forgotten her Handicap placard. 

So right next to my spot is the big old wide marked out handicap area.

In that painted grid is a Lincoln Town Car parked at an angle. (No doubt the owner of the vehicle doesn't want any of us "common folk" to get  close enough to scratch his surface.)  It's a little odd, but once again, so what?

I clearly notice the vehicle has no indication it is authorized to be positioned at ANY angle inside a handicap spot. But could he have maybe just left his placard at home like we did? If so, so what? That's still way short of qualifying as a classic incongruity.

Well there's a little more to the story. The fellow driving the town car finally steps out of the conveyance and stretchs up to his full 6 foot 4 inch height. You can tell this is a fit man.  It is also clear he frequents tanning salons. Parked in a handicap spot? 

Well maybe he stayed under the sunlamp too long? Maybe he's having trouble walking? That's almost understandable. I've had bad sunburns. They can really hurt. So let's have some empathy here. And who really cares, huh?

His demeanor and posture indicate this is likely an economically successful, confident man. But that in and of itself shouldn't require he be banned from handicap parking spots.

And this is a dapper man. I'm no expert but I'd say he's put at least a grand into the suit he is currently wrapped in. Parked in a handicap spot? Oh, come on, they've got handicap spots on Rodeo Drive? Don't they?

I AM a LITTLE nonplussed as this guy starts furtively looking around 360 degrees. Then he pulls out his wallet and starts thumbing through it.  I'm thinking maybe there's a major drug buy getting ready to go down. Right here in front of me? But you know these kinds of things happen? It's maybe a little bit out of the ordinary for me, but classically incongruous? I don't think so.

So we head into the drugstore and I instinctively look back over my shoulder. I can see him, but I'm pretty sure that's not mutual. I say that because he does one of those quick eye things in each direction?  He's clearly making sure it's safe to make his next move?  I can still be an apologist for the guy. We're still just hinting at possible incongruity because we are not accustomed to some of his overt behavior.

Brace yourself. 

Hiding behind a pilar in the drugstore I continue my surveillance. The subject is no longer standing in one place.  He is on the move.  He has not given up his careful surveying of his surroundings. He pauses just briefly before entering the establishment in front of him.  And then IN he goes. 

What could be going on? I look up quickly to see just what kind of storefront we're dealing with here.  Whoa!   

This cross between Sean Connery and George Hamilton is going shopping at a "THRIFT STORE."

He has illegally parked  his LINCOLN TOWN CAR, at an angle, IN a HANDICAP SPOT, so he can go SHOPPING at a "THRIFT STORE?" For SHAME! I vow right then and there to always use this story when someone asks me to give them an example of INCONGRUITY. What a jerk!

Then on the way home from my walk I see this building that advertises it's a BANK on one side? HEIDI'S DELI on the other? That's a little strange, but by comparison, no longer applicable as an incongruity. And that dying thistle plant is starting to look pretty good.

"NOW HEAR THIS!"

Flirtatious: "I think your beautiful voice would tame a tapir!"

Real Mood: Negative Ion Induced Extrospective

Prediction: After reading this someone will say, "HUH?"

If you ever purposely want to get into a similar mood, go listen to a Harry Nilsson album.

"Everybody's talkin' at me. I don't hear a word they're sayin'. Only the echos of my mind."

You tell 'em Harry.

Make sure you look at all the pictures before you judge me.

So tommorrow Mozart will be 250 years old.  NPR, National Public Radio tells me so as I'm driving to the store? Right after they tell me that? They play this really upbeat piece from Rossinni?  How do I remember that? Well as I am listening to it?  I look up and see about three different flocks of birds (all different species) dancing to the music? I mean in the wind?  That has me mesmerized?  Then  another flock of birds shows up? All white, probably pigeons or doves? No it turns out to be a bunch of plastic bags? The kind used for sandwiches? Do you think some business left it's trash bin unhinged? You know what? That has me wondering if Mozart was on the Royal "Keep Salzburg Tidy" committee, maybe 240 years ago?  I know that would mean he was only 10, but gosh he was a child prodigy? 

If you don't stop to think, or feel bad? You know everything and everyone seems connected? Push logic, inhibition, anger, fear, and jealousy out of the way?  Boy the World starts making sense. It gets interesting. But most importantly it's incredible what you see, hear and feel.

Yesterday I took my announcing class down to the creek by campus to honor Demosthenes. Why for heaven's sake?  He's the Greek Guy who allegedly put rocks in his mouth so he'd be more articulate? While that has been questioned historically, it's pretty much a given he took his speeches down to the Aegean Sea. There he is said to have developed unbelievable breath control by delivering his speeches while running on the sand.  And his projection range is said to have rivaled microphones as he fought to make himself heard over the roar of the surf.

Now history and hyperbole tend to be dancing partners. But you know something? Even if it's just a pencil between your teeth? Instead of rocks? Even if you are jogging on a concrete bike path instead of sand? Even if you are bellowing to be heard over a man made waterfall instead of the surf?  It works.

Oh, and did you see the ducks that let you get within a few feet of them? Did you see those two women doing step aerobics on the creek wall? Did you feel the negative ions coming off the moving water? Did you see Mount Evans over the top of Invesco Field? Did you see how mad the cyclists were 'cause we were in their way on the bike path?

Well that's just what I absorbed.  You probably got a whole bunch of other interesting stuff.  But wasn't that fun? And weren't you impressed at how well you could be heard when you got back?

GO DEMOSTHENES! 

Say it, See it!

Flirtatious: "So how would you like to lead the newscast tonight?"

Real Mood: Pedagogic

Prediction: Somewhere tommorrow wind will flap a flag, and the hardware on the flag's rope will bang on the metal flagpole.

I've been having discussions with my Broadcast Journalism class about the importance of finding video and sound for Television news stories.

For that to happen? Eyes and ears need to be working overtime without pay. It's a little strange to try to sell skill development that will in time become second nature.

They'll all get it in time.  I just plan to shorten the learning curve.

Perhaps if I put it in the context of, "I want MY story to play a prominent role in the newscast!"

"Okay," says the show producer, "your story is about dying elm trees.  What pictures (video) do you have?"

"Just a couple of healthy trees I think are elms?  I can't find any dying ones."

"Any vid (video)  and nat (natural sound) of somebody working a chain saw?"

"No. Just a man walking by a pretty large tree trunk.  I don't know yet if it's an elm."

"What sots (soundbites...or sound on tape) ya got? Anything dramatic or compelling? Anybody crying over the loss of "Andy the Elm tree?"

"Got the state arborist saying he thinks it's a problem."

"Isn't he the guy with the really monotone voice who looks like he's going to go to sleep on camera?"

"Yeah, I guess you could describe him that way."

"So how big a deal is this elm issue anyway?"

"The arborist says we can expect a thousand trees to be dead in six months."

"But you've got no good video, no good natural sound, no compelling sound bites? "

"I guess not."

"Well I'll give you a ten second reader in the bottom of the 'A' block."

"But this is a big deal!"

"Uh, Huh! And this is TV."

In print you can paint word pictures. No one will ever know if a quoted source is animated, compelling. 

In TV you get just one shot. Then what you've reported is in the ether. No time for absorption. To grab viewers and hold them you need: Great Video, Great Natural Sound, Great Sound bites.

And the only way you get those elements is to look for them. And that needs to become second nature.  In your crowd? You are the first one to hear a flag whipping in the wind, the train blowing it's whistle, the glass breaking, the door squeaking.

You are the one to see the pickup going by with a dead horse in the back. It's legs are sticking straight up in the air.  You see the window washers precariously hanging from their ropes.  You see a grown man break into tears because his home has  been destroyed in a natural gas explosion. ( these are all real observations by reporters and photographers that got their stories to the top of the 'A' block.)

It was you who got an interview with a homeless guy about homeless murders.  (The guy later turns out to be a prime suspect.) You get the soundbite from the woman right after she clobbers her attacker with her purse. You are rolling when an activist and the Secretary of State are yelling at each other with just inches seperating their noses. You find an arborist who sings folk songs while he trims trees.

You get all this suff  'cause you're paying attention. You are always looking and listening. You're doing that because you don't want your story to be a ten second reader at the bottom of the 'A' block.

 

No Steak Dinner

Flirtatious: "Want to join me for a braised filet?"

Real Mood: Hopeful

Prediction: The Sun will make an appearance in Denver tommorrow.

I was told at a local steakhouse, "Del Friscos," that whenever the Broncos win? The next day team owner Pat Bowlen brings the coach and some key players in for the biggest steak they can digest.

Well, there'll be extra tables at Del Friscos tommorrow night. The team digestive systems probably wouldn't be working very well anyway. 

Pittsburgh won the game and the gut check. And for all the teams that get to this level? These are losses it takes more than a massage to get over.  It's an unfortunate reality that there will be a least one case of domestic abuse involving a player on one of the two losing teams today.  I'd love to be wrong on that.  But I can't remember a year when that wans't the case.  Make a liar out of me. Please!

On a not so understandable level, it's the same case with the fans.

On one plane a loss is a good thing for the town in mourning. Fans will not get high on every thing from glue to cocaine and hit the streets. There won't be any cars turned over and set on fire. There won't  be any gunshots fired randomly in the air. Liquor store windows will remain unbroken.

Yet too large a percentage of us attach our self worth to the success or failure of our favorite sports teams. It must be a tough choice for cops. 

[SQUAWK]

"All units respond to riot in lower downtown."

[SQUAWK]

"All units, DISTRICT ONE, respond to report of domestic violence, 9th and Adams."

I suppose I'm letting those of you who are students know that this is something you can expect. You as journalists will be expected to cover it. It's not fun for anyone.  I feel for you.

I'm just afraid we'll never be able to return philosophically to the idea, "It's just a Game."  I'm not a pessimist.  I have high hopes for future generations. I love people.  But I don't love what winning and losing BIG GAMES seens to do to us.

I think I've been critical in the past of people who point out "problems" and offer no "solutions."

Lets try this. 

Win? Everybody forms a circle around the stadium, hold hands, and blurts out just one, "YEA TEAM." Then we go home.

Lose? We all meet in the middle of the field for a group hug. Just don't squeeze too hard.  Then we go home.

Don Meredith had the right idea.  The party's over, but life is not. There really is "always next year."