February? What's that? A Month You Say?

Flirtatious: "Will you join me in a whole month's worth of Pagan Celebrations?"

Real Mood: Pre-Exhausted

Prediction: Bode Miller will moon the IOC.

Well, we're about to wrap up January, arn't we? Then we'll just slip into that boring old month February. THE HOLIDAYS are over, the trees are down, the Menorah is wrapped and stored, the ornaments packed away, everybody is back to work or in school. Ramadan is history, Kwanza has run it's course. Even the Chinese New Year has come and gone. (What's this the year of, anyway?The Dog?) February! Blah! Right?

Hold your ponies people.  Take a closer look at old February. It's a little more eventful than you might remember. And this February is going to be a cage rattler. I thought maybe we should discuss it and get prepared before we get overwhelmed.

First we need to understand that February is the first big TV rating period of the year. Some News rooms are going to be going crazy looking for an audience. Normally we at home would be going crazy too as we watch all the promotions and "Chicken Little" news. But we've been thrown some curves this February.

Well let's get this one out of the way. We have to face Groundhog Day. I'm guessing the cable movie channels are going to innundate us with Bill Murray re-runs this week. (Get the irony?)  He thinks he was bored!

Out here we think Punxsutawney Phil is a fraud.  We tend to rely on the abominable snowpack man and a local prarie dog for our length of winter predictions. Far more reliable.

This year, 2006, we aren't going to get much of a break. Just as soon as "Phil" crawls back in his hole? We're going to be awash in Superbowl hype.  Before it's over, if you're paying attention, we're going to know how Shaun Alexander felt when his mother took away his training wheels.

And of course we'll get the "Billion Dollar" commercials dribbled out to us all week.  They'll save a few for game day. They, this year, is ABC.  The local ABC affiliate sales people will be out looking for property and speedboats through Sunday.

However, ABC affiliate financial joy will be short lived.  This February the Superbowl will flow right into the Winter Olympics, where NBC has cornered the market. The games will hit February 11th, and run through the 26th.  On the 27th I know where the NBC affiliate sales people can pick up some cheap property and boats.

Let us not  forget our neighbor Mexico has two holidays notched in between Groundhog Day and the start of the Superbowl. We should also acknowledge a New Zealand Maori celebration called Waitangi Day.  And don't forget Japan's Foundation Day. I got all those off my Rhino Calendar.

That calendar also reminds me of the silly February thing we did a long time ago. Instead of celebrating individual birthdays of two of our key Presidents? Well let's just combine them into one and call it President's Day. Fine, but the Lincoln and Washington People have never been happy about that.  So now instead of one day devoted to honoring our executive branch?  We've got three.  All in February. (Lincoln has to share his with Chinese Lantern Day.)  I know we all know this but sometimes you just got to scream it out, don't ya?

Now don't spend all your energy on what we've already talked about 'cause there's a lot more.

You'll need a good hunk of your energy for Valentine's Day on the 14th.  There are a lot of people who are going to need some lovin'. Just think of the fans on the losing Superbowl team. You folks in Seattle and Pittsburgh  ought to have a bunch ready to go just in case. And there will have been quite a few Silver and Bronze medals handed out by the 14th.

I know you think you're out of the woods, but not so! Mexico has the Dia de la Bandera on the 24th, and then on the 28th there's Shrove Tuesday, AKA Fat Tuesday, AKA Mardi Gras, Aka Carnaval (PARTEEE TIME). That should just about do us in don't you think?

You think you got it tough.  February is also the month my late mother and baby sister were born. ( If I forget to call this year Brenda, please understand.) 

I don't know how common it is, but did you notice the New Moon comes on the last day of February this year?

We might all consider sending St. Valentine cards to the affiliate sales people at CBS, FOX and WB. They got nothin'.