Tough Talk

This is a story I've told often, but not one I really ever thought would be important to tell.

Back in the 70's, during some other oil crisis, I was doing a daily radio feature titled "Tighten Your Belt."

I'll be honest. It was not easy to come up with something interesting every day. But one day, whatever I did, elicited a rather entertaining reaction.

"Hey, Paul, y0u got a call on line one."

"Thanks. Hi! This is Paul, can I help you?"

"Maybe! My name is @#$#@. I own *%$#* oil. Whadda ya doin' right now?"

"Just gettin' ready to leave for the day, why?"

"Grab your tape recorder and get on down here to Combs Gates."

I need to tell you at this point that this guy had the "Voice of God." My vocal range drifts between bass and baritone, but this guy made me resemble a soprano.

But I was young and brave in those days.

"I'll be right there."

Combs Gates was where you landed your private jet in Denver. They had a small, but lush meeting room. I was told I would find my interview there waiting for me. You know, how some times, men with really deep voices, turn out to be guys about 4'8" tall in heels? Well, no Wizard of Oz in this case.

I can't be totally accurate, but I'd guess my height at the time? Oh, 6'1". Weight? Maybe 210 lbs.

Well, this owner of what he called a small independent oil company, out stood me by about 6 inches, and out girthed me a minimum of a hundred pounds.

"Sit down," he says.

I suppose I should have "high-tailed" it out of there right then. But a combination of that youth, false bravado, curiosity and out right fear, had me responding positively to his command.

Let me finish his description. He had a very ruddy complexion, arms the size of sequoias, a neck that didn't really exist.

I sat down and started to push play and record on the machine.

"Hold on," he says. "Let's talk first before we tape anything."
(Precursor of "Go On the Record.")

"Not a problem," I say.

"Why is it, whenever there is a story about oil, we always get all this rotten publicity from you guys in the media."

Well, well, well. I guess if I'm about to be cut up and swallowed by Shrek, I might as well get in some final words. So, and I can tell you from my side, this is not paraphrased. It is exactly what I said, and I guess in retrospect, since I'm still alive, glad I said.

"IT IS BECAUSE YOUR INDUSTRY IS MADE UP OF GRIZZLED OLD FARTS LIKE YOU THAT THINK IT IS NEVER ANYBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS WHAT THEY'RE UP TO."

Oh, yeah, I got the expression you'd imagine, and I was thinking maybe I should have left some nice notes for next of kin. But you know what? That grimace, very slowly turned to a grin. And following a VEEEEERY long pause he says, (unfortunately I still hadn't turned on the tape recorder) "YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT."

With that, he flew back to Texas and immediately hired a sharp, reputable public relations firm.....clearly something BP might have considered.

I think I heard from him once after that. That oil crisis ended soon afterwards, and we all got back to doing what we were doing before it started. To be honest?

I hope this gulf situation doesn't end that way. We need some good solar powered cruise ships in the Gulf.