Just say SOON

"WHEN PIGS FLY!"

In some fashion this economic situation we're in affects us all. And, in my mind, it is not all negative. Oh sure, on a personal level I'm angry with roofers, banks, insurance companies, panic motivated greed, and other stuff. BUT! When I go out to eat now, it is at lunch. I can't believe the bargains available, even at the poshest pantries.

This next observation is probably less true in the top ten major urban areas of the country. But here in the second population tier (Denver for example) I see a direct correlation with the price of gas and the number of cars on the road.

I don't get to shopping malls very often, but when I do? You can actually window shop without being crushed by a horde of humanity. In fact, while I've always heard they existed? Now I actually SEE these mall walkers who just show up to get some indoor exercise.

However, lest I attract your disdain by trying to make a silk purse out of recession, I do have what I call a negative. These downturns are starting to have a lasting impact on our language. I'm just going to use one example and I'm sure you can add your own.

There had to have been a time when the phrase "opening soon" would have been linguistically bundled with well known demands for urgency like ASAP, STAT, SOS, AND ANON. No more is that true, I say.

Four months ago I first saw a fancy sign announcing the opening of a Vietnamese restaurant, a first in this neighborhood. I got excited. I love lemon grass. But like I said, that was four months ago. I peeked inside the window last week to see only patched drywall, and concrete. But the sign is still there, OPENING SOON.

My favorite example around here is this huge piece of commercial ground a few miles away with a massive taunting sign touting a new BOWLING, AMUSEMENT CENTER. It used to say opening in the Fall of 2005. Well that date has been crossed out a lot, and replaced with the next year's numbers. And then, I'm pretty sure it was in 2007 the sign was replaced with an even bigger sign that reads, you guessed it, OPENING SOON!!

I did a story sometime in the 90's in this area, during another economic downturn, where some local entrepreneurs promised to build a golf course along a popular creek. And right after the first backhoe showed up, so did the sign giving a planned date for completion. So developers with some land close by did what? They quickly jumped on the bandwagon building slightly upgraded homes touting them as "Golf Course" homes. AND there were some people around whose wallets were fat enough they could buy these over priced structures, almost site unseen, just to be on a golf course.

Well their homes got built, they moved in, and out their windows they saw the SIGN. First it read Golf Course opening in the Spring of 199_, fill in the blank. Yeah, and after a few years of editing the OPENING DATE? The sign read: GOLF COURSE OPENING SOON.

Well those local entrepreneurs ultimately went "belly up." That of course was after the lush flora around those fancy new homes was scraped right out of the landscape. But time has been kind to the people who live in those once fancy new homes. The wildflowers, the tall grass, and even some trees came back on their own. So now, as I understand it? Homeowners, if and when the housing market turns around, will be trying to recoup their losses by touting their homes proximity to breathtaking open space. OPEN SPACE, OPENING SOON.

So anyway, thanks to the economy, let's scratch OPENING SOON off our URGENT expression cache. I don't know, I'm thinking OPENING SOON should be required to have an attendant phrase that reads, BUT MAYBE NOT IN YOUR LIFE TIME.

Well I gotta run and get some laps in at the mall. See you SOON!