Let's See Now.....

CAPTION: "Why are all those boys crying mommy?" "I'm not sure Sugar, but I'll bet it has something to do with that mean man."

I know this BLOGGING business can mean just about anything. As a LOG, why it oughta record significant events of an assigned day. But since there are no rules, why not use it once in a while to record fractured history.....events remembered.

Well I've had so much feedback telling the Narcolepsi story, I've decided to keep on this path of telling old media stories for a while. Here is one of the older ones. 

Whilst working in radio in Kansas back in the early 70's I stumbled on to this great opportunity in TV. A guy comes to town, Bob Sebby by name, and wants to be a weekend disc jockey. But his real mission in town is to set up the first Cable Local Orignination TV station. And in so doing it's part of his job to come up with local programming to serve the community.

As fate would have it Bob becomes my roommate. (Any of you considering careers in radio and TV? That first job in rural Kansas, or Arkansas, or Alaska?  You WILL need a roommate.) Well anyway with Bob a captive audience, I convince him we should start a little show for pre-schoolers called "Paul and the Little People."

Just so you know, at this juncture in life, I'd pretty much participated in pedagogy at almost all levels of education, sans PRE SCHOOL.

So I was a little taken back when on LIVE, one of my six pre-school stars stands up and proudly announces with magnificent volume and melifluous tone, "PAUL, I HAVE TO PEE. AND I HAVE TO PEE RIGHT NOW!"

Some things in life you just block out of your memory bank because you just don't want to remember how you solved a particular problem. That's the case here. I have no idea what we did on air while he was off peeing. Luckily in those early cable days local origination TV programming wasn't a really hot audience item.

A later event with "Paul and the Little People" does painfully stick in my mind. I wanted to spice up the show and so Bob and I decide to take the kids out to Rita and Doug's farm. (Rita is my cousin.)

There we would film the little whipper snappers getting their first experiences with farm beasts.

Well, the planned highlight of the shoot was to put all five of the kids who showed up that day on top a Shetland Pony. Cousin Rita suggested one or maybe two at a time would be good. No, I'm seeing all five of them up there at once.

(I don't know if Bob still has the film, but I can pretty much guarantee you it would pull down a prize on America's Funniest Home Video.)

Okay, I start the process, lifting the first pre-schooler up on top of, oh let's call him Shorty. So there is no saddle on Shorty. So once I get John-John up there I implore him to hang on to shorty's mane real tight.

Well John-John does pretty good while I'm hefting Rita's boy Matt up behind him. Pretty good means John-John  is slipping away from me in the slightest fashion. 

Okay, as I'm pulling him back to the starting position, Matt it now slipping towards me, or how do you say it, in the opposite direction?  But I'm young and agile. I pull the two together and implore Matt to hang on to John-John just as tight as possible.

This accomplished, I call for pre-schooler three. I get little Jimmy up there without a lot of difficulty, although the three of them are listing slightly toward port.

(Oh, Bob isn't a lot of help at this juncture because he's shooting. And Rita still can't believe I want all five of them up there.)

Up next is Robert. Well when I get Robert in place a new phenomenon crops up. Even though they are all hanging on to each other? John-John and Matt are now leaning East, and Jimmy and Robert are feeling the gravity pull of the West.  It takes all of my arm's lengths to avert disaster. But even averted, I'm starting to hear little whimpers. Okay let's get this over with, bring on little George.

Well George can't quite decide which way he is going to lean, but up straight is apparently not an option. So he just starts to fall like a rock off the other side? I run over there to the rescue him only to see Robert falling the other way. There just isn't enough agility on the planet for me to save the day.

You ever sit in the tub and have this little itty bitty sliver of soap left that you accidentally drop in the water?  Ever tryto retrieve that sliver? YOU GET THE PICTURE.

But I told you this would win a PRIZE on AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS!

Where did all these little Pre-School Wranglers land when the slid off Shorty? Right in the middle of this humungous sticker patch. The little whimpers of yore? Now we have bawling of immense proportions. I'm pretty sure they sent the heifers on the south 40 racing off in the opposite direction.

Me? Mercifully with help from Bob and Rita, it takes a about an hour to pull all the stickers one by one out of their little bodies.  They may still be bawling.

I think "Paul and The Little People" lasted maybe one more show?  Oddly about five years after that a Network series pops up calling itself, "Paul and The Little People."  

I used to put it on my resume that I hosted a TV show for pre-schoolers called "Paul and The Little People." But then people would ask what I did on that show.

I can still hear all five of them screaming at once. I still feel the guilt. I often wonder it the stickers left scars, of the skin and the soul.

Oh, well, now the truth as I recall it has been told. Bob Sebby is now some big Cable "Big Wig" in Omaha.  I hope he doesn't still have a copy of the film.  Bob?