Counter Balance

I try not to make too many promises.  And I try kinda hard to keep the ones I make.  I indicated recently (promised) I would return to the site of a bridge on a local bike path that I take rather personally? Why? To take a picture.

It's not the bridge itself that catches my attention everytime I cross it.

I think at the time I mentioned it recently, I told you it imposed a weight limit of one and a half tons. Well as you can see in the above picture I was wrong.  But this time its not a result of hyperbole, rather understatement.  This bridge calls for a weight limit of two and a half tons.

I was once told by a pretty good photographer to NEVER try to tell a story based on signs.  I took that to heart until I had a REALLY GOOD photographer tell me NEVER SAY NEVER. In fact that photographer and editor and moi walked home with some Emmys based on the REALLY GOOD PHOTOGRAPHERS advice.

So anyway? I was telling you everytime I see that weight sign I take it personally.  Are you talking about me? 

Afterall there are signs along the way that say STAY ON PATH....NO MOTOR VEHICLES ALLOWED....CAUTION:PATH NARROWS (narrows to a total three foot width).....CYCLISTS YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS....etc.

So my point is? By golly they really are talking to me, or You, plus your bike....unless?....unbeknownst to us? Animals can read?  And even if they could? The heftiest animal within a 100 mile radius of the bridge (bear) would tip the scale well under the limit.

But suppose, just suppose there are some accidental wanderings in of what scientists call MEGAFAUNA, aka  BIG OLD HEAVY BEASTS.  To be fair to the sign makers, this bridge would not hold an African Bull Elephant. They tend to weigh in around 22 thousand pounds.  But to be fair to me and my irreverance? There is no good evidence an African Bull Elephant can read.

And? There have been no local sitings of any living beast matching that heft in the history of the language of the sign being used. (They did dig up a wooly mammoth around here about 5 years ago. He wasn't breathing.)  I've not seen or heard  of any circus parades swing by here recently. 

But still let's suppose an African Bull Elephant did happen by? Well take my word for it.  If Elly (let's call him Elly) picked this bridge as part of his route?  He wouldn't fit. His hips andwaistline would hang out over the railings like a TOO TIGHT belt.

Okay...so let's say we rule out the elephant.  Next in line among the MEGAFAUNA? The Black Rhino. The Black Rhino will counter balance a total of three thousand pounds, well within the limit.  And we need to remember the Rhino has to make about ten trips a year to the optometrist. Any attempt at sign reading is going to make him VERY dizzy. Going across a bridge dizzy is never a good idea.

So really they had to be thinking homo sapiens when they put that sign up.  I try to, without success, imagine a human that weighs two and a half tons.  But think about it.  If you weighed two and a half tons?  Would you walk or ride a bike over a mile to get to this bridge?  You better be carrying a paramedic with you.  Maybe you could get a HUEY HELICOPTER to drop you in, but its tough for those of us brought up with English as our primary language to READ horizontally.  We tend to go LEFT to RIGHT.

So I kept my promise. I went back to that bridge and took the picture of the sign to share with you.  And as a practiced journalist?  I read the fine print.  I got up close to one of the bridge beams to read an inscribed plate.  What did the inscription say, you're asking? THIS BRIDGE IS CONSTRUCTED TO HOLD A MAXIMUM WEIGHT OF FIVE TONS.

Now I take it personally for a whole new bunch of reasons. What am I? An Idiot?  Don't answer that question.