Caution: Converging Traffic

Flirtatious: Did I tell you I was a CJ?

Real Mood: Digitized and Pixelated

Prediction: At this pace, by 2020, twenty one year olds will no longer be able to communicate with 60 year olds in any fashion.

I'm going to briefly start this off with one of those free wheeling connecting jaunts. I may have even BLOGGED in the past about my High School and College buddy, the late George Dehlmar. George was an insider in the 60's and 70's SURFER generation. And he had this incredible capacity to create language within his dicipline, and in his life in general.

[I don't know why? But the one phrase that sticks in my mind?    "I'm gonna sound out this chick." Translation: "She's cute. I'm going to go over there and see If I can engage her in a conversation. If we have anything in common, I'm going to ask her out."]

So, since we are talking about surfers and language creation? I think of the Beach Boys.  Arn't they the ones that sing, "Help Me Rhonda?"

The right answer is yes.

Well Rhonda is my stepdaughter's name. And I think Rhonda is my only reliable link to catching up with the constant bombardment of digital "new-babble." The IT freaks are putting the surfers to shame.

Rhonda, and her husband Mark, have a TIVO, a PC, a Mac, an Ipod, and some phone that probably does heart surgery.

"Do you have a PDA Rhonda?"

And that's just at home. She's an accountant with an HMO, so with all the money we shell out for HEALTH CARE? I'm thinkin' she's loaded down with toys there, too. And she loves to play with them.

Getting the hardware names down is tough enough! But now some new software surfaces every five minutes. New Acronyms are popping up like acne.

Just the fact that I'm here "BLOGGING" is a testament to my justified rambling. Students who've been reading mine, and writing their own, are often unware "BLOG" is short for "WEBLOG." And you know what? There is probably no reason to catch up on that one.  In a few weeks we'll be calling it something else. 

I've decided that unless I decide to compete in some "Trivia Bowl" for big money? I'm never going to try and play catchup.

[Sidebar: When I retired from reporting and started teaching?  I kept hearing faculty converations about the super POWER POINT presentations just given on "Brain Wave Conversions," and "Situational Ethics."

Intimidated, I go get the CD (What does that stand for anyway? Does anybody remember? It was always confusing to me because CD's became popular at the same time I contracted Cervical Disc Disease.)

So I carefully train myself at home and put together what I think is a pretty snappy POWER POINT lecture on, oh let's say, "CIRCUMLOCUTION." I practice the thing a "gigabyte" number of times at home.  Peggy is getting bored, but me and my laptop are blowing my bathroom mirror away.

So I head down to school and walk right into my "SMART CLASSROOM!" I plug ol' "Mr. Laptop" into one of the "UB something" gizmos. I get ready to "WOW" the next generation of great thinkers.  I push the power button. Something pops up on the screen. Then the screen flickers. Then the "Smart Classroom" gets DUMB! Then the laptop starts WHINING! Then the laptop stops! Then the laptop loses all it's power. And, I discover later, Mr. Laptop acquires a severe case of Alzheimers Disease.  

"And that class, is what we mean when we say CIRCUMLOCUTION!"

Confession? Power Point? Know how to do one! Won't! And guess what? Nobody else is doing them anymore, either. I'm sure just knowing the meaning of Power Point will get me a  'C' in an IT history course.]

So do you know about CONVERGENCE? I think CONVERGENCE is the short form of a shared frustration phrase that goes like this: "CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

If you haven't been invited to one of the "FREE CONVERGENCE SEMINARS", Steak Included? Let me catch you up.

Imagine a point of infinity. All forms of media are lined up at this starting line.  They are going to race for that infinity point.

At an early time the only competitors on that starting line? I'm thinking town criers, and gossips. The gap between them is probably a three degree arc.

You don't want me to go rambling on through media history to get you up to date.  Let's shorten  "IT BABBLE 101" by just giving you a partial rundown of the contestants in this race to infinity:

LANE 1: Radio (AM,FM,Cable,Satellite,Website.)

LANE 2: Television ( VHF, UHF, Cable, Satellite, HDTV, Analog, Digital, Websites on the Web, Websites on TV, Satellite live camera reports on TV.)    

LANE 3: Newspapers (Newspapers on line, Newpapers on TV, Newspaper Websites, TV reporters on Newspaper Websites, Newspaper Podcasts.)

LANE 4: Phones. (Old fashioned land line. Cell Phones, Cell phones linked to the Internet, Cell Phones that share pictures, Cell Phones the show movies (including  porn), Cell Phones tied to TV, Cell Phones that control TIVO, Cell Phones that are Computers, Cell Phones that Think and Talk and someday will probably Walk.

That should be enough to give you the idea.

RUNNERS? ON YOUR MARK! SET! KABOOM!

They are going to be cookin'. This is no mere "Medal Around the Neck" thing out there in infinity. No! This is a race for the almighty ADVERTISING DOLLAR. GO! GO! GO!

Speaking for most of us in a so-so economy, "MAY THE CHEAPEST TECHNOLOGY WIN!"

So what tips me in this direction today?

I set up a Broadcast Journalism TV tour to a place called "Mania TV." By "PLACE" I mean a very large studio inside an old warehouse building.

Inside the studio there are about five good sized sets. There are three old school busses that have been converted into control rooms and offices. There are computers everywhere. There are five small cameras ready to go live at any minute.

We get a tour from one of my students interning there. Her name in Andrea (ahn DREY uh). [I add the pronunciation instructions because I keep struggling with it. I've had at least fifteen "Andreas" in classes over the past three years. They all want it pronounced differently. And ladies I'm trying my best.]

Anyway Andrea explains they are similar to MTV. They are on 24-7 and they show music videos.

She points to a gathering of well made-up characters about 50 yards away.

"That's the CJ lounge. And that's all our afternoon CJs you see sitting there."

"What does a CJ do?"

"Oh, introduces the videos!"

"Well Where do I find it on my remote? Do I need to call my cable guy?"

"You can, but it won't do you any good!"

"Why?"

"We're not on TV. We're on the Web. Just google "maniatv.com."

"Ah, what a fascinating revelation?"

A student sidles up to me and whispers demandingly, "PAUL, ASK HER WHAT CJ STANDS FOR."

"Oh (ahn DREY uh), what's CJ short for?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You get used to it so quickly. CYBER JOCKEY."

This isn't an ad for ManiaTV. But at least as I watched on their program monitor? It was refreshing to listen to a host more interested in the music, than when "happy hour" starts at BILLY BOBS."

MAYBE I CAN GET A LITTLE MEDIA COVERAGE FROM MANIATV FOR THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF PaulsModestMusings. A LITTLE BIT OF FREE PUBLICITY CAN GO A LONG WAY.

Anybody tells you who is going to win this race to INFINITY? Call 911.  While you're doing that?  I'm calling Rhonda, "help me Rhonda, Help, Help Me Rhonda!"