Summa Cum Laude

whatever will be, will be."

I ran into this little girl (estimated age 4) hanging on to her mother's thigh at a farmer's market.  It was about three years ago. I'm not sure I've captured the measure of her expression's impact on me. I can only tell you that expression ignited a rocket of emotions from my pate to my "pinky."

This toddler's expression is related to a man holding a dog on a leash right in front of her. Mother's leg seemed to be her only defense.  It was a kind well trained dog, but she had no way of knowing that. She was not about to let go of that thigh.

Well when I was her age, 4? It is my earliest in life total recall. I was in a yard three doors to the south of ours. There lived a teenager with a real sadistic mean streak in him.  I won't use his name in case he has a really good lawyer. Let's just call him HP.

Well HP invited me into his backyard and asked me if I wanted him to lift me up so I could see what was on the other side of the fence?

"Okay!"

Well, HP lifted me up, and set me down on that other side of the fence and walked away laughing. I on the other hand was full of fear and bawling. I was on the next block and I might as well have been in another galaxy.  I was totally lost.

It probably took a half hour for me to hook back up with my parents. I don't know if HP got in any trouble for that, but here is an example that there CAN BE justice in life.

A few years later HP tried to get frisky with my older sister. He clearly picked the wrong victim. She quite methodically shoved a broom handle down his throat separating him from two of his front teeth. ( My dad, who grew up on the streets of Chicago during the great depression, was pretty insistent that all us offspring know how to handle ourselves.)

The story is, urban myth though it may be, says HP ended up in prison. That would be justice plus. But back to that toddler's expression.

I've been seeing it over and over again on campus this past month. It is acute graduation panic fever. It is staring at the unknown.  

Every once in a while I catch myself being cruelly philosophical.

"Oh, don't worry about it. You'll find something.  It'll all work out."

But that little girl's expression has become my conscience. I was shaking in my boots at graduation. I had no idea who was going to hire me, what exactly I'd be doing, where I would be living, and I had this giant dog staring me down and growling at me.

Well it has all worked out and I regret nothing. But in truth that degree is not mother's thigh. Even for Summa Cum Laude the essays, the multiple choice and the true and false have just begun.

I think what I've learned in retrospect is that you cannot replace mother's thigh. But you can ease the fear and pain by (cliche alert) "sticking together." Stay in touch with each other. And don't just share your successes. Share your pain, your fears, your suffering as well.  (cliche 2) Misery not only loves company, it needs it.

Every single one of you will experience some degree of loneliness, fear, real and emotional pains you won't even be able to express or define.  And in a world that is changing so dramatically right now, don't expect to find instant security. And don't hide behind false bravado. 

It is true that for most of you things are going to eventually work out. Not all of your decisions will be perfect ones. And the dreams you chase will evolve. And you won't be PERFECTLY happy.

"the future is not ours to see, que sera, sera!" 

But if you stick together, share your moments in time, support each other, be your own institutions, everything IS going to be okay.

Oh, and this is really important.  Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Do that? And mother's thigh can take a break. And you can put regret back in jail with HP.

CONGRATULATIONS.