I can't remember being at a loss for words. I'm not now. Here's a few words.
Mark and Maren Muschanow.
And here's a few words and numbers combined:
7 pounds 6 ounces. 19 inches long and or tall.
All other words and numbers have been deemed inefficient and unsubstantial.
Hallelujah! Amen!
CAPTION: "HEY, I'M NUMBER ONE!"
Well it had to snow, didn't it? Some people who know me well already know where this is headed. I can tell you this posting will be required reading for my broadcast journalism students.
I don't know if it's still the case? But when I was the age of these students it was a big deal if you could be the first one off the lift making the FIRST tracks down the hills after a night of snow.
I know FIRST is a pretty big deal in our culture, but let me suggest there might be some situations where you might want to be SECOND, or THIRD, or SOMEWHERE WAY down the count.
This all comes to me as I make the FIRST tracks in the driveway heading out to get the paper.
It's 5 AM.
It intensifies as I see the FIRST tire tracks in the fresh snowpack. The person in that vehicle no doubt is heeding the call of his local radio or TV traffic pundit saying, "BE SURE YOU GET AN EARLY START."
Now let me be fair to my former colleagues. If there is a listener or viewer who leaves RIGHT AT 5 AM? That's PROBABLY good advice. There will at least be less traffic out there. But you know most of us need to take a shower before heading out? So then what happens?
Still dripping wet from the shower you hop in your car an hour earlier than you normally do, you slalom around the snowplows and stalled or stuck vehicles, hit the onramp to the freeway, and THEN?
YOU COME TO A COMPLETE STOP! Why? CAUSE EVERYBODY WHO LISTENED TO THE RADIO OR WATCHED TV AT 5 AM GOT AN EARLY START.
Here is a question for you? Whenever you've gotten that early start after 5 AM in the snow? Did you ever end up arriving early, or even on time for that matter. I've yet to find an honest man or woman who'll respond YES to that question. The laws of physics make it impossible. You can only cram so much water into a hosebefore it bursts.
All you do is just sit in your car, on a highway, wasting fuel, watching SUVs slide into drainage ditches, getting angry, texting a whole bunch of other angry people.
Now that he is comfortably retired I think I can tell you this story. Dan Hopkins, retired from mouthpiecing for the former governor, and before that the Department of Transporation here? Well he confesses to me that "your right Paul. But good luck fighting the system." Why does he know to say, "Good Luck."
Well many years ago, on the air, Dan advised everyone to just leave for work at their usual time, and be careful. We'll all be a little late to work, but we will not have spent ALL DAY on the highway. Well he gets a flood of phone calls. From who? Grateful motorists you say? Nay my friends. He gets angry calls from the heads of major corporations, furious he's telling people it's okay to be late work. So I'm wasting my time, the same as I wasted it whilst telling this same story on the air.
One year I told this story on the air just before we went to break? Coming out of the break the anchor says, "folks make sure you get an early start." Well maybe you can pull this posting up on your BLACKBERRY to amuse yourself while sitting in traffic all day.
Okay, I feel better, but not totally better. Every single local morning newscast, five of them in this market? Adds to their get an early start advice? "If you are heading out to the airport make sure you call your airline ahead of time to see if you flight is late or cancelled."
Now this is not a law of physics. It is a law of commerce. If there is a chance, ANY chance at all that an airline can fly and make revenue? Are they going to tell you to just stay home even if you might miss your flight. Hopefully you've already answered the question. Airlines do not respond to those calls. NOW YOUR TRAVEL AGENT might help out. The web site of your departing airport might have useful information.
Should you call your airline expect to hear, "WE ARE EXPERIENCING A LARGE VOLUME OF CALLS AT THIS TIME. PLEASE BE PATIENT."
Should you get through? "TO THE BEST OF OUR KNOWLEDGE THAT FLIGHT IS STILL SCHEDULED AND ON TIME."
Wouldn'tit behell if you'd made that call on your cell sitting in your car watching SUVs slide into ditches.
OKAY, I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.
CAPTION: "Parlais Voux Croissant?"
By design I've tried to keep this journal away from the hot topics of the day. You are constantly bombarded with worldly concerns that distract you from the REAL issues in your life. But today the political pundits and I must merge. The issue? Immigration.
There is something sinister quietly taking place in our suburban communities (at least this one). And I think we need to "nip it in the bud" before it gets out of hand. Aliens are crossing our borders smuggling in some very potent poisons. And they are appealing to our weaknesses. They are attacking our economy and our health. And I'll bet most of you don't even know this is taking place.
So while we are getting all tangled up in debate over drugs and job takers crossing the Rio Grande? While we wince at the thought of terrorists sneaking in through our Northern borders? Shouldn't we be just as worried and tied into knots over the quiet arrival of French Bakers?
So Peggy and I are driving home from dinner the other night? We somehow get in the wrong lane to make the right turn to get to the ice cream store?
"WHAT are we going to do?"
"I know this isn't your first choice. But I think that new so called "French" bakery is open up here on the right? Want to give it a shot?"
"I guess. If we have to."
We were pretty sure we were just going to take home a croissant or cream puff designed by Betty Crocker. But folks this really IS a FRENCH BAKERY. We've not been to France. And I'm not sure there is any longer a need to put it on the itenerary. I'm Pretty confident we've just experienced the best the FRANKly people have to offer.
The Presentation? Oh, man!
The bread? We got a loaf of their sourdough? Miners in California may have invented it. But it's pretty clear the French took it from there. San Francisco better start pushing it's abalone instead.
The Croissants? OHHH! The Cream Puffs? OH,OH,OH,OH. The Creme Broule? Yah, yah, yah, yah.
"Normandy, Monsieur. Do you know it?"
"I know you must have some pretty healthy cows there. That's what I know."
Well we gave up Ice Cream to purchase two desserts a piece (and a croissant on the side for me. What could it hurt?) and a loaf of sourdough. We'd nibble on the croissant on the way home, have one dessert that night, and another one the next night. The bread would last a week. That way the twenty dollars we put on the counter could be justified against the five dollars (with a coupon) we'd have spent on ice cream.
Well the "Norman Nosh" lasted all the way until midnight.
This is a serious matter. We need to forget the French gave us a sculpture to stand up in New York Harbor. I'm now thinking the Statue of Liberty is a "TROJAN HORSE" laden with pastries.
These French Goodies are just about all we can think about. These Normans should never have been allowed to cross our borders and set up shop in a community accustomed to Crispy Creme. We are in trouble.
For your personal safety? I'm not going to tell you where they are. If it looks like they might be going out of business, I may change that posture.
"HI! MY NAME IS PAUL, AND I AM A FRENCH PASTRY ADDICT."
For the record? As you can see below? We didn't officially eat everything!
"HI! PAUL."
I had planned on taking some real pictures of the goodies for you to see....but guess what?
