Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hues you can Use

It was here at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park that Stephen King envisioned his supernatural horror tale, "THE SHINING." It was at a replica of this place that Jack Nicholson, running around with an ax, breaking down doors, confronts his wife and progeny screaming, 'I'MMMMM BAAAACK!"

Well, to paraphrase Jack? "SO I AM!"

FOR THE RECORD? ESTES PARK ABUTS ROCKY MOUNTAIN NATIONAL PARK?

Darn near miss getting up into the Rockies to catch the Fall Color...that would have been a first. So since I knew we were late I didactically suggest we take in the annual Elk pornography at Rocky Mountain National Park as well. 

(For the NOT initiated? That's when the Bull Elk gather their harems for this awful mass orgy.)

The highlight is actually the incredible mate bugling of the Bulls that echoes off the walls of mountains and canyons throughout the park.  I am still trying to process a piece of the experience. Help me out here. 

We are parked along side the road about 150 yards from an elk herd numbering about 70. They are quietly munching on some tall broken down brown grass. In the background there are two exceptionally (horny) bulls just lying there.

( Studies say they are essentially carving out their options.)

All of a sudden in concert the bulls do a slow rise and begin bugling, and all the girl elk stop what they are doing and look up.

 

Okay, that's the elk. Now in the extreme foreground we find a host of us...bearing binoculars and high powered lenses.  We are a very age diverse group, from toddlers to probable octogenarians.

Back to the elk for a second. ALL OF A SUDDEN the bugling Bulls start running away from our position. Curiously all the girl elk start running right after them. They are headed for some high willows that will make them hard to capture digitally.

Well this puzzles a COUPLE of advanced years standing very close to us.

"What's going on? Where are they going?," asks he.

"That's really strange. I'd be running in the opposite direction," says she.

Well, their 10 year old grand daughter comes to the rescue. She very gently explains, "this is how they mate."

She leaves absolutely nothing out of the explanation. Her genetic predecessors seem dumbfounded.

 

The "birds and bees" lecture is supposed to be in descending order, not "child to octogenarian.."

You notice I said SEEM dumbfounded? I'm going to let you younger folk in on a little secret. It's a gimmick of aging. Were you the parents of this ten year old? Might en you feign shock and disbelief that your daughter would have this information.

"WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU KIDS IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS?"

Get to be Grand Parent age?  Just act dumb.  Most people think you are anyway. Some people just might think you are WISE. Just alter your grin slightly and you can pull that one off. Then when you are alone you can get your heads together for a GREAT BUGLE GIGGLE.

"What do they think we've been doing all these years? How do they think THEY got here?"

 

Oh, they were having a prescribed burn in the park? So if your 10 year old grand kid screams out, "DID YOU SEE THAT."

"Sorry....got some smoke in my eyes. Didn't see a thing. What happened?"

"Oh, never mind."

"Heh, heh!"

Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Glad to be BACK even though I'm not JACK.

A couple of afterthoughts. Should you need to demonstrate the principles of voice projection? Get yourself an elk.

Was Warren Jeffs reared by elk?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Bark up Any Tree you like!

CAPTION: "Arf. I'm contemplating chewing on the metatarsal of a Stegasaurus."

If I don't get something written here quick, it will have been a month since we've connected. It's not that I haven't  been busy...or that I haven't been thinking about all of you...but...oh forget the but...here's the deal...let's get on with it.

I have something very special to share wth you? I am always telling students and anyone I can get into a coversation with? Do Not give up on your dreams. And I truly try to live by that motto...and even at my age...I keep drumming up new reveries.

This needs just a tad of background? When I first started Junior College in 19?? I took an aptitude test. My highest score was in what they called something like "High Level Math." My lowest score? "Word Fluency."

Well I spent a very good hunk of the 20th century making a living "fluencing a bunch of words."  Math? Logic? I CAN count to 10 in five languages? That's about it. 

So despite my ineptibility in higher brain cell synapsing? I am here to share with you something incredibly special in the dream realization realm.  Last week?I finished my first Sudoku without cheating. Yeh Paul!   NOTICE IT WAS A TWO STAR DAY, TOO.  Never say Never!